My best friend from school and I used to be very close. We talked on the phone often and for hours because she moved three hours away. I got married about five years before her. When she married, she grew distant. On our phone calls, she would talk to other people in person for more than five minutes and wouldn’t tell them to excuse her since she was on the phone with me. Sometimes I couldn’t tell if she was talking to me or her husband/coworker/friend. Then, after two years of pretty much no contact, she sends me links to “funny” videos saying that we are still best friends and we can’t go through a friend break up. Another time, the videos she sent said she missed her friend that lived so far and wished we could do things together again. It sounds like she wants to be my friend but only if we live nearby. She also stopped sharing personal struggles/secrets with me and never had any time to listen to my personal stuff. I’ve gotten to the point where I have started to ignore her links now.
Recently she got a new place and had been wanting me to come visit. But she does this weird thing where I ask for her address and she doesn’t give it to me. At the start of the conversation she said, do you have my new address? And then she said she needed to keep track of who has it and who doesn’t. And she never gave it to me even though I asked her for it three times.
What do you think of our friendship? Can we continue being friends? I don’t believe she’s serious about being best friends again because my messages often do not get responses.
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It’s one of those days where you feel like talking to someone and then you just text them and then somehow feelings change and you’re like f it whatever I don’t care. So it’s entirely up to you whether or not you want to talk to her. Nobody’s forcing you anything. This kind of thing is pretty normal.
She doesn’t pay attention on the phone. She’s no longer a confidante. She doesn’t want you to visit her new home.
What is she offering that resembles friendship?
I may be seen as curmudgeonly for saying this, but if they don’t have tangible friendship to offer, I don’t let nostalgia or a sense of loyalty to a chum from the past muddy up my social life.
sounds mentally ill to me