He thinks I cheated. I didn’t.
He says that he’ll forgive me if I admit to what he thinks I did. I tell him I can’t admit to something I haven’t done without losing my integrity. He just thinks I’m doubling down on the lie, and that I’m unable to ”step up to the plate” and own up to the ”fact” that I cheated.
Otherwise our relationship is over, he says. This is an impossible ultimatum and I don’t even know what to do in this situation. I’ve never been treated like this before and I guess I just don’t understand the psychology here. Does he actually think I cheated? Would things be ok if I ”admitted” to the lie? Because why would you want to be with someone who cheated on you? Or what’s actually going on here?
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He’s cheating.
Babes either someone told him you cheated,or he cheated and now is paranoid
Obviously don’t admit to a lie.
Tell him you didn’t cheat and you’re done talking about.
Don’t be with people that can’t be trusted and will play these mind games. Trust me, there are better and more perfect relationships for you out there. If someone did this to me, I would leave as if they have to ask, then the relationship is over.
Leave. This will never end. On his death bed his lasts words will be that you made his life miserable because you never confessed
this is the definition of projecting.
your boyfriend is cheating on you and he feels guilty about it, so to make himself feel better about it he’s trying to convince you & himself that you “cheated” first so he feels less bad about himself for already doing it to you.
Dont admit to the lie.
He will hold it over your head forever, use it as ammunition in every disagreement between you two.
Be firm, inform him you cannot admit to something you havent done.
And… taking a step back – this kind of behavior is a dealbreaker imo… if he persists, YOU dump him
Also – consider if hes projecting.. if HE is the one whove cheated..
He’s projecting his own guilt. He has some insecurities he needs to work on but he shouldn’t be accusing you. It’s giving real life cheater. Turn the tables, ask him why and/or if hes cheating. Ask to see his phone. If he turns red and mumbles over his words… dont ever forget that look in his face cause if you stay with him, that’ll be the only way you k ow the truth.
If he is accusing you of cheating with no proof then your course of action is clear. Leave him and don’t ever take him back. Block him on everything and don’t talk to him again. He isn’t worth the emotional effort. Also don’t let him bad mouth you to your friends. Tell everyone exactly why you left. He accused you of cheating. You didn’t cheat. You aren’t going to tolerate that from him or anyone else.
Don’t admit to something you didn’t do. Your relationship is over either way.
You should NEVER admit to this if you haven’t cheated.
Why does he think you are cheating? Or is he just looking for an excuse to breakup with you (is he seeing someone else?). To me it seems there’s more behind this (from his side)
Updateme
You don’t need a psycho in your life
He is cheating
Your relationship is over and you should be the one pulling the plug. Do not admit to anything he claims you did but didn’t. You can’t convince him that you didn’t cheat and you’ll only give him a means to act more controlling of your life.
Find yourself someone who isn’t a jealous control freak.
Nine out of ten times when someone baselessly accuses their partner of cheating, it’s because they are themself having an affair.
Has anything else he’s done felt off? Usually this kind of manipulation isn’t a one off thing.
In any event, even if he is that one in ten, I’d leave anyway because he has shown he doesn’t trust you. You need to assume manipulation is the point, the idea is to condition you to see things his way by default. And once you make an ultimatum like that, the relationship is over anyway. He already ended it. So I’d just go along with it if I were me, tell him he’s welcome to believe whatever nonsense he’d like, and just distance yourself from him.
How do you define “cheating” and has he specified what he believes you did? If you’ve been just spending time with someone else or texting in a flirty way, he may count that as cheating.
Though his ultimatum seems like a no-win, I think he might be stressing the issue of honesty. If you fess up to whatever behavior he regards as sketchy (or cheating), then you are at least showing some honesty. That might be enough for him to be willing to see whether you two can reestablish connection.
Of course, if you are innocent and there is no evidence of flirting or meeting up with someone else, then you are probably better off walking away from this relationship. A paranoid, jealous partner is not worth your time and energy.
I agree with everyone who says to not admit to soemthing you didn’t do. I would also ask him calmly why he thinks you cheated. If he’s so sure of it, where did he get the idea from because you know for certain that it didn’t happen.
My ex used to make up scenarios- telling me I was seen flirting, cheating etc. very insecure and it’s emotional abuse. I wasn’t doing anything of the sort. It was him trying to catch me out or some shit. Run.
Geez, I’m sorry but this too much. The drama is bad for your health.
I know this is time to fight for relationships, but he clearly ain’t fighting for it. Dump him first 💀
Do not admit to anything you have not done . Ever .
I wouldn’t go as far as saying he has done anything but he will definitely use this against you later on . He seems abusive and verbal or emotional abuse is just as bad as physical maybe worse because the evidence can’t be openly seen
You young and don’t need this in your life you love him yes but your heart will recover and will grow again in a more loving equal relationship
However at the end of the day it’s your choice what you do
this is high school level of drama…why would you even consider “admitting” to anything? you’re 24, move on from this idiot
What’s going on in your head here? Why in Christ would you admit to a lie like this?
And no it won’t be ok. He’ll treat twice as badly as he does now.
Please can we normalise not being so desperate to not be single that we attach ourselves to clowns like this?
False accusations of cheating will wreck a relationship just as surely as actual cheating will. Insecure suspicious people do not make good longterm partners.
DO NOT play into his bullshit. DO NOT “admit” to something you didn’t do. Keep your integrity. This is not a good person to commit to long-term, I’m sorry.
I know it’ll hurt, but accept his ultimatum, because you are better off without him in the long run.
Oh this is 100% a him problem. He’s either cheating on you, been cheated on before and can’t move past it, or looking for a reason to dump you. In all three scenarios you can’t win and the relationship is over. Save yourself the mind games and rip the bandaid off yourself. At least then you get the dignity of walking out on your terms.
He’s cheating or has cheated…
He’s an AH and you should dump him. This is manipulative and creepy.
Call his bluff and just break up. No matter what you say to him, it won’t stop. He’ll accuse you again or cheat or both. It’s not fun to be in a relationship like this.
If he doesn’t trust you, the relationship is already over. Trust isn’t just important, it’s the emotional foundation everything else is built on. Without it, there’s nothing stable to stand on.
When someone constantly accuses you without reason, it’s often projection. People tend to externalize the behaviors they’re guilty of themselves. It’s a way to soothe their own guilt or deflect accountability. Accusation becomes a mirror- not of your actions, but of their capacity to betray.
Time to leave.
It doesn’t matter why he’s doing this. All of the potential reasons are bad news for you. He’ll do this kind of crap over and over again until you are a shell of your former self.
You can find better. It won’t be difficult 💐
I’ve read a lot of your comments and all I can say is BREAK UP!!!
So many red flags, you’ve been together 8 months and it does not sound healthy- so you seriously want to live like this?
Never admit to anything you haven’t done (he sounds exhausting btw) and get out of this situation. Do not put up with being treated like this. You deserve better.
This is a lose/lose situation. Leave him. He clearly has issues.
Don’t waste your time playing amateur psychologist with this guy. He’s playing mind games with you for reasons of his own. Dump him ASAP.
Don’t admit something you didn’t do. It’s not the US legal system, it’s your “boyfriend”.
Your relationship is already over.
I would first let the wannabe detective show me the facts of the crime… Then he should tell me how he came to this conclusion, because if there is no clear proof from him, the relationship is over anyway!
I don’t know what kinda mind games he is trying to play, but your integrity is more important. He’s being controlling in the weirdest way. Don’t give in though, stand up for yourself. You’re the only one who can fully defend yourself.
He’s playing games. Don’t admit to something you haven’t done.
If you admit to cheating when you didn’t, you will spend the rest of your relationship “paying for” your sin – which you claim you didn’t do.
That’s not really fair and probably not something you want to be a part of.
So accept his offer to end the relationship and go on your way.
He wants a reason to leave you. Because if he really thought you cheated and wanted to have a conversation about maybe staying together he’d give you any information about why he thinks so. He saw you with someone, someone sent him a text about it, he couldn’t find you one day ect. He put you in a position to end the relationship where he gets to look like the good guy either way.
Nah girl, this is a red flag. Run and don’t look back.
What makes him think you cheated