we’ve been together for a year and a half. we are both each others first relationship. for the past year i’ve been an antidepressant that severely limits the pleasure i’m able to get from PIV. i don’t feel much and can’t cum at all. i think i’ve only had an orgasm 2 times since i’ve been on it, and it was when i had forgotten to take it the day before.
i’ve been faking orgasms. literally every time. i feel completely awful that i am doing but it’s hard to not to when i’m so into him and the mental image of the sex we are having. i’m into his passion and eagerness and i want to feel like i’m reciprocating that, not for him but out of my own desire to feel connected.
i’ve been feeling resentful towards him. like i want him to do more fingering/rubbing/oral and i said this a while back but it isn’t happening, i assume because he thinks i’m completely satisfied since i’ve been faking orgasms. it’s not fair to him; i’m putting on a big show and he thinks i’m in ecstasy and doesn’t need to change anything.
in my despair, i’ve realized that i was able to feel pleasure and orgasm in the first 6 months that we were dating, before i started this med.
i have no idea what to do next. i feel completely broken. i was in and out of severe suicidal depressive episodes for 8 years before starting the current antidepressant. so if i want to feel anything i’ll have to go off this med and risk being miserable again. this is the 3rd psych med i’ve been on and i feel hopeless that i will ever be able to feel sexual pleasure whilst also being okay mentally. i want to stop lying to him and tell him how broken i feel without hurting him.
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Tell him the truth. I have the same problem with my bf but he does his best to make sure I’m satisfied.
In all honesty, he’s probably gonna be hurt regardless of how long you wait to tell him. It happens and there’s no way to avoid it, it’s just something you have to accept. Tell him the truth, understand that he has a right to be hurt, if he needs space then give it to him. Explain the situation but don’t excuse your actions, take accountability and apologise for lying. Yes, he may feel some type of way about it but that’s inevitable and just how it is.
Sit him down, tell him. Explain it’s likely the meds and you didn’t want to hurt him so you faked.
Prepare for the worst though, he’s going to feel awfull having had sex with you while you didn’t enjoy it. He might feel like he’s been abusing you.
Don’t wait another day, delay will only increase the damage.
First of all you’re not broken, you need help with certain things and if he’s a partner worth his salt he’ll understand. Second) Have you tried to see if you get the same effect jerking off?
I don’t want to cause any trouble but like maybe talk to him about it? Sit him down and talk about your medication what you’ve notice about yourself and any changes that may have happened (as much as you’re comfortable). When it gets down to the sexual stuff, be open with how you’re struggling with finishing. Cause you like the sex, it’s good sex but you can’t find the O, which is ok and happens. Be honest about any emotions you’ve felt that lead to you faking and how faking has added/changed any other emotions. Be clear with your wanting help with finding a solution and that there’s no love lost.
Resentment happens when you feel your needs aren’t met but if you haven’t been open about it it’s a double edged sword that hurts both parties. Be kind and understanding to both of you as you navigate this, and little by little it’ll be less heavy until it’s gone.
Stop taking antidepressants, they don’t help
Please downvote me now