I’m coming to you all in need of advice on how to handle this situation. I feel like I’m in complete shock and I can’t think straight. Any advice on how to proceed in this situation would be greatly appreciated.
Background: My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We have been together since 2012 and have been married for 6 years and we have a 2 year old.
Timeline:
– January I got off birth control so we could get pregnant. This was a mutual decision.
– February: Got a severe UTI. Got treated and symptoms improved. Drs office cultured my urine and confirmed the antibiotics would treat it.
– March: Got another severe UTI. I visited the same Drs office and they said it probably hadn’t cleared up and gave me the same antibiotics.
– May: had my yearly OBGYN appointment and mentioned that I had a bad UTI previously. OB said to come back to her if it came back. Well, it came back but they didn’t have nurses doing urine analysis that week (I don’t know?) so she prescribed me a different type of antibiotic. And said to come in if I have any issues.
-June: Get a severe UTI again, go to the doctor they do a urine analysis and cultured it but nothing grew. I was referred to a urogyno Dr. I go to urogyno and my urine culture comes back normal. After speaking with my mom she suggests going back to obgyn to get tested for stds. At this point I’m desperate to get any answers.
-Monday: 7/14 got a panel done and I found out 7/17 I tested negative for everything but Trich. I have been faithful to my husband and the thought of cheating on him is repulsive.
Here is the confusing part. I confronted him and he is persistently saying he has never cheated on me. I kept calling him a liar and pushed him to tell me who it was. I kept reminding him that I have an std, only transmitted by sexual acts and that I have been faithful. I went through his phone, I checked all of his apps. Previously downloaded and currently downloaded: nothing. I went through his Facebook messenger: nothing. I went through his Snapchat: nothing. I went through his Instagram messages: nothing. I went through his call logs: nothing. I went through his car: nothing. I went through his credit card statements: nothing. He gave me his phone and said he would do anything to prove he hasn’t been unfaithful. I’m completely stomped. We share our locations, in his significant locations there was nothing suspicious. Now what?
Comments
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what do you mean, now what?
your husband gave you trich.
this is a simple fact that is in no way linked to social media
I assume that they did STD checks when you were having the UTI issues yes?
One search you didn’t do: search for files ending in .jpg and other common image formats, like .tiff
Has husband been tested and treated? Failure to do that is medical incompetence.
2 things:
Firstly: STDs can also be a result of poor hygiene. It can be that EITHER OF YOU got an infection via something else rather than through cheating. They can also lie dormant without either showing any symptoms, and given that you both used condoms for a long time, it can be that either of you caught it a long time ago.
Secondly: given that you checked everything from him, you should also let him check everything from you. You have been faithful, so you say. He has been faithful, so he says… but (strictly based on this post) there is no evidence of him cheating. Any evidence of you not cheating? To keep things fair, let him check everything on your part as well.
Lastly and obiviously.. get in contact with your doctor. Get some antibiotics to cure yourself asap, and he should do the same.
I had an STI test recently and it came back positive with trich, had never been tested for this before because it’s not on the regular tests. I’ve never had symptoms and the doctor said I could have had it for years. Apparently around 80% of people don’t have any symptoms. Also, heard there’s rare cases it can be transmitted by sitting on toilets etc. Ask him to get tested too. Also check your levels. The closer it is to 38 the less contagious. ❤️ Hope it all works out for the best for you
You need to post in a medical sub. Trich can be asymptomatic in men (and women) for years.
Trich testing can have false positives. Do you know the name of the test you had done?
I also found this – https://www.clinicalmicrobiologyandinfection.com/article/S1198-743X(18)30633-5/fulltext
Since you definitely have symptoms, you need to figure out what’s going on. Has your husband tested? Another issue is that trich testing can have false negatives, esp in men.
It’s rare, but trich can be spread by things like wet, damp towels. It’s most often sexually transmitted.
Your husband should get tested as well.
Also, there is a (small) possibility of non-sexual transmission:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4553853/
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-can-you-get-trichomoniasis-if-no-one-cheats
Stop sleeping with your gross husband I’m going to Dr office with him
I get annual STI testing at my regular appts. Note that the standard panel does not include HPV or HSV2–you could have both and not know until you have an outbreak. I didn’t have my first outbreak until years after I was exposed by my cheating ex husband.
70% of people with trich are asymptomatic. You could have had it or he could have had it prior to being together. Men are much less likely than women to have symptoms.
What now? Assume you’re both telling the truth and one or both of you have had it all along and been asymptomatic.
Years ago my husband and I got this. Neither of us cheated. It can be dormant and I believe I carried it. You have checked everything of his so you need to let it go and get him to the doctor. Don’t let this ruin your relationship.
Although not very common, it is possible that you guys have had trichomoniasis for years and not have show any symptoms, since you stopped using birth control your pH changed and this may have triggered the outbreak of symptoms now… in any case make sure both you and your partner get fully treated…
Ask him to take a test. UTis can occur through a lot of intimacy. Some Stis have no symptoms. It’s gonorrhoea that is the big red flag!
I asked ChatGPT for you
Yes, trichomoniasis (trich) is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) caused by a parasite called Trichomonas vaginalis.
Key facts about trich:
It is an STD: Trich is most commonly spread through vaginal sex, but can also be transmitted through genital touching.
Can be asymptomatic (dormant): Many people—especially men—can carry the parasite without symptoms for months or even years. Women may also be asymptomatic for extended periods.
Long dormancy is possible: It’s rare, but cases have been reported where trich has been dormant or undiagnosed for several years. This makes it difficult to pinpoint when the infection was acquired.
In the case you mentioned:
A woman married since 2012 says she recently tested positive.
Both she and her husband deny any cheating.
Is it possible?
Yes, it is possible that:
One of them had it before marriage, and it remained asymptomatic for years.
It was misdiagnosed or overlooked in the past.
There’s a non-sexual transmission (extremely rare, but theoretically possible through shared wet towels, for example, though not widely supported).
That said, trich is almost always sexually transmitted, and its presence typically raises questions about past or recent sexual contact.
Summary:
While uncommon, it is possible that trich could lie dormant and only become symptomatic years later. However, such a scenario is rare and usually prompts more scrutiny to rule out recent transmission.