So, I’m still pretty new to the vegan lifestyle myself. I used to be vegetarian and have only just made the full switch. I was talking about the transition with a friend of mine who’s also vegan and she asked me if I would be changing my 1 year olds diet also and when I said no she completely freaked out on me.
My thing is, if it’s something she wants to do when she’s old enough to make these decisions for herself and decides its a lifestyle she wants to live, then I will gladly guide her through it. I don’t want to impose my beliefs on it onto my child in the same way I won’t be doing it with my religion either, I want her to be her own person and to think for herself.
At the same time, even if I did want to change her over to a fully plant based diet/Vegan lifestyle I still don’t fully know what I’m doing, so why would I blindly put my infant daughter into it?
I haven’t spoken to said friend in a few days, but she’s been on a rant about it with our mutuals. Some of them think I’m doing the right thing but theres a few that think she’s right.
So, reddit, AITAH?
Comments
Sounds like a lot of none of her damn business. NTA
NTA. Children probably need the protein from meat to grow but also I 100% agree with you. This diet should be a choice.
Vegan is a choice. Let the kid decide when they are old enough. 1 is not old enough.
NTA. It’s totally reasonable to not enforce your beliefs on other people ESP when you’re new to it!
NTA first of all it’s your daughter and as you said when she is old enough to make that decision on her own and also it’s your daughter and you parenting why is she saying what you should do as a parent
NTA.
It’s one thing for an adult to decide to not have something but Babies/Kids need a well balances diet.
A lady in my neighborhood literally killed her child due to forcing him to be Vegan at just 1 year old. His body stopped getting all the nutrients he needed.
You must do what is right to protect your child
You would only be the AH if you forced the diet on your kid and deprived them of a normal childhood lol. NTA in this scenario
How to feed children a wholesome balanced diet, non-vegan, omnivorous -as we are omnivores!- is pretty well known. The same in a vegan form – I don’t know, I am afraid that it would be very difficult. And as difficult: to make sure that everybody that might give her some food is in compliance: good luck!
First priority is health, and growth. A close second is mental health and good ethical values. Which would be guiding her towards what you consider a healthy ethical lifestyle. Key word: guide.
NTA
NTA and I like your approach
NTA. Your friend has anyone who’s saying that nonsense should mind their own business. That’s not their kid.
NTA if you don’t have enough child nutritional information you can cause harm to your child and stunt her growth. Tell your friend you will not cause harm to your child. If you do decide to have your child go vegan please see a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist who had experience with pediatrics and veganism
In the US, Registered Dietitian Nutritionists (RDNs) have more standardized and regulated educational requirements compared to nutritionists. While anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, dietitians must complete a specific educational path, including an accredited degree program, supervised practice, and a national exam.
I don’t know if you are US based or not
I totally agree with you. I am the daughter of a mother who was first vegetarian and then vegan. He never forced me to follow his diet, but eventually, around age 13, I became one too and still am (age 29). Clearly, having a vegetarian/vegan mother offers many opportunities to experiment with dishes in a thousand different and tasty ways and therefore it is also easier to make this choice. It is more respectful to give our children the space and time to consciously choose.
Hell no. Your baby is 1 years old. Your friend is insane for this 😭 the kid likely needs the protein to grow
NTA. You can be both healthy and ethical as a vegan but its hard and trying to learn how with a baby, who has MUCH less wiggle room on vital nutrients, is going to be difficult.
It is very important to get proper nutrition in the kid. My idiot in laws let their 12 yr old daughter turn vegan and of course had no money or knowledge to properly feed her or make sure that she got her nutrition and she was super picky eater(read as bad food). She is now 22 and has serious health issues and fertility issues due to malnutrition.
It sounds like you are sane and know better and seem like a solid parent. Good for you ♡
Do not feed your kid a vegan diet! They need protein to grow properly. They need meat and dairy or they will end up malnourished, weak and sick. It’s hard enough to get kids to eat properly, so don’t eliminate whole categories of important, nutritious food. It borders on child abuse.
It would be incredibly dangerous to put your child on a vegan diet at this age. Please don’t. Your friend doesn’t know what she’s doing. You’re doing nothing wrong. Please talk to your pediatrician about the best diet for your child.
Tell her she’s right and you’ll talk to a registered dietician for insight and advice.
It’s your kid… who cares??
Children should not eat a vegan diet. Period. Your friend is blinded by emotions, ignoring science, and acting like a cult member.
NTA, I just have a hard time classifying a diet as a belief system. I think the moral issues you add to it are distracting from the fact that you are just trying to find a way to fully nourish your body and your kid’s too. Non-vegans aren’t worried about pushing their beliefs about food on their kids. Your kid is one – she should eat what you eat because that helps with bonding. If she needs a little non-vegan protein every day because she needs more nutrients to grow then part of being a parent is ensuring she gets what she needs without worrying about what your small social group thinks. At this point, she should be moving past the standard formula if you aren’t breastfeeding. Toddler milk is non-vegan but is a cheap way of ensuring she gets all her nutrients and can ensure the rest of her diet is vegan for now.
let her know that if you find your child does have mental disorders, you’d prefer to let them evolve on their own and that if the child is not suffering from mental disorders, you’re not going to force one on the child – that would be abusive
NTA. Your child’s wellbeing comes first. I think it would be insanity to impose a vegan diet on a child who’s still learning the range of foods and tastes and who needs good nutrition to grow up strong. I don’t think even experienced vegans should force their child into veganism. That’s utter selfishness.
Nta letting her choose when she is older is better as it works be her choice.
Garden-variety vegans aren’t bad. Vegans that force their lifestyle on others are insufferable. I was that way for a month until I craved a cheeseburger and said fuck this. I’ve never looked back. I consider that a dark time in my life. My family was happier that I finally shut up.
NTA. It’s your kid’s choice.
NTA
It’s fuck all of her business let’s get that right.
Also you’re 💯 going about it the right way. Like you’re only starting on that journey yourself, so if you don’t fully understand what you’re doing for yourself, how can you be expected to know for a 1yr old?
It’s literally not their child…..they get no say. Are they a nutritionist for babies? If no, then tell them to feck off
NTA children aren’t meant to be vegan or humans would be vegan by default. Give your kid the best shot they have
It doesn’t matter, that’s up to the parents. If someone wants to have their child on a vegan diet that’s fine ( as long as they are getting guidance from their pediatrician/nutritionist). If you don’t want to do that because you aren’t sure how to make sure your child is getting all their nutritional needs, that’s fine too. As far as the belief part, it’s your job as her parent to teach her morality you are not imposing on them you are teaching them your own family culture and beliefs. When they get older, you can allow them to form their own opinions.
You are the parents
It’s your choice
I personally don’t think forcing a vegan on kids is healthy.
It has to be very carefully planned out and you may need to use supplements
You are parenting well. Your friend is a moron.
I have one vegan in the household, a vegetarian, a chicken nugget eating vegetarian, and 2 meat eaters.
As long as your daughter is healthy and eating, roll with it. A pediatrician will tell you the same.
Definitely NTAH. One is far too young to be considering a vegan diet. Oftentimes these diets can be deficient in some nutrients, which is not appropriate for developing babies & young children. You are much closer to sane here; your friend clearly knows little about the needs of very young people and needs to mind her own business.
NTA. Forcing your kids to do something because you do it is ridiculous. Those products are a good source of vitamin/protein that kids need to grow. 100% agree that if your child decides to be vegan later on that you would support that choice they made! Excellent parenting.
NTA. I respect your parenting style very much. Maybe reconsider some friendships, though.
NTA. This is the difference between being a vegan and being one of those vegans.
Yikes I hope she educates herself. Veganism is not suitable for young children. When your child becomes older, if they want to make that choice, perfectly fine with doctor supervision. But until teenage years, animal products are vital
You are doing parenting right!
No. Forcing your developing children TO be vegan because YOU are vegan would make you the asshole. Also people who force their naturally carnivorous pets to be vegan. That’s fucked up.
NTA and it’s really not your friends business how you raise or feed your child
Babies need a more balanced nutritional diet-still growing and tell your friend to mind her own business-she has 0 say about how another person chooses to raise their child!
Politics, religion, and lifestyle choices are all things kids should be allowed to choose for themselves.
The only time a specific diet should be forced on a kid is if it’s medically necessary. Nta.
NTA vegan diets are incredibly difficult to modify for young children, most end up malnourished in one way or another. I hate parents that force it on their kids without even consulting their pediatrician or a nutritionist.
NTA. Your friend should mind her own business.
NTA babies need all sorts of micronutrients to grow. Its none of your friends damn business how you baby eats. Ive know several ppl that have gone vegan. They’ve lost hair, gotten vitamin deficiencies etc. Its weird, some vegans go overboard and think they are superior bc they are what, cool now being vegan? Ppl need all sorts of nutrients. Its nobody’s business what your child eats. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool.
NTA but there’s no way to avoid “imposing a lifestyle” on a one year old when it comes to their diet. You pick everything they have on their plate. You’re just imposing an omnivorous diet on them instead of an herbivorous one.
I do agree with you that if you’re not comfortable with a vegan diet yourself yet then it makes sense to stick with what is more familiar for your baby. They can get malnourished a whole lot faster than we do
NTA I agree with your perspective. It’s very complicated to provide a healthy child with everything they need from a vegan diet. Your child may choose to follow you later but I think you’re responsible and it’s not anyone else’s business.
NTA. Your responsibility as a parent is to provide your child with food that meets their nutrititional needs. You can certainly speak with a pediatric dietician about what a toddler requires in terms of proteins and healthy fats and what plant-based sources of protein would be best for them, but you’re also not a monster if you feed your child meat/dairy. A good rule of thumb is to foster a love for fruits, veggies, whole grains and nuts and then add proteins as more of a side dish or an add on.
So many children go through phases as they learn to eat where they only want certain foods. It’s rare to find a kid that will just eat everything. If all your kid wants is chicken nuggets and apple sauce, then to some extent, you have to accept that. Maybe try a three bites rule and ask questions about what they like or don’t like, and then see if you need to try preparing it or seasoning differently. Maybe you make a lot of smoothies.
You also need to track foods and keep experimenting. Pay attention to allergens. Maybe they like grilled veggies better than steamed or sauteed. I thought I hated asparagus my whole childhood because I had only had them boiled and from a can. Turns out, I just like it better if it’s grilled (or really prepared any way but boiled!) and fresh.
It would probably be good for YOU to see a dietician about figuring out what a good mix of plant-based proteins looks like, too. Lots of people who go vegan have nutrient deficiencies because they lean too much towards certain foods, and they need to get a bigger variety. Don’t try to make your kid a vegan when you’re still figuring it out for yourself and what works with your adult body.
NTA
You seem to be the only vegan ever that isn’t a holier-than-thou evangelist for the movement. Veganism isn’t for everyone and it shouldn’t be forced on someone that isn’t even old enough to make an informed decision.
You’re a vegan – good for you. I have no desire to do that but I respect the choices of the people that are vegan. That said, I find it highly irresponsible to put a child on a vegan diet. The human digestive system adapts to the diet it’s given to the point that going gluten-free makes one gluten intolerant. Eating a diet that never includes animal-based protein ultimately leads to someone that will get violently ill if they do happen to eat animal-based protein (said another way – meat).
Keep your child on an omnivore diet until she’s old enough to make her own choices. And tell any friends that have a problem with it to kiss off – it’s none of their business.
Ah you met the militant vegan who gives normal vegans a bad name. Your child has nutritional needs that can’t easily be met on a vegan diet. Even vegetarian can be dodgy if it’s not pescatarian, but vegan is actively damaging for a child. Especially an infant. It takes a lot of work to healthy for an adult to be honest.
Let your child find their own way. Just don’t go the nuggets and pizza route for their regular meals.
I don’t know a single pediatrician who would suggest a vegan lifestyle for a kid, as it can be hard enough for them to get enough calories or correct nutrients for how much they are growing. Your “friend” is the reason most people hate vegans. NTA.
Almost everything I’ve read about vegans online makes me hate the entire concept of veganism. This is no hate to you, OP, but it seems like you’re the only reasonable vegan out there.
It genuinely sounds like the worst religions out there – you’re only a “real” vegan if you’re pushing your choices and beliefs on everyone around you. If you talk to someone who isn’t a vegan, you have to force it on them. If you raise someone, you have to make them a vegan too or you’re shamed. You’re even expected to force your carnivore pets into being vegan. It’s insane, holier than thou behaviour that I cannot ever get behind.
You’re one of the rare vegans who isn’t an asshole, OP. But my advice – do NOT talk about your veganism with other vegans. They will only find a way to shame you for doing something wrong. Seems to me that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to tear down others. Fuck that nonsense. NTA
NTA your judgey busy body bad friend is though
NTA. Being vegan should be an individual’s choice, made when they have the information they need and can decide for themselves.
(I’m sure you know this all already based on your post and comments but I wanted to reiterate for anyone reading)
Children and babies are too young to consent, especially if they can’t talk yet. It’s your job as a parent to provide and protect them where they can’t do it for themselves. If your child can’t consent to a vegan lifestyle, you need to protect them and give them a healthy balanced diet until they can fully and knowingly consent to any other dietary lifestyle.
Good on you. You’re an amazing parent 🙂 keep doing what you’re doing and protect their autonomy.
NTA. Veganism is a lifestyle choice. Your baby is way too young to make that choice and really, until you know what you’re doing and can ensure she gets the nutrition she needs for her growth and development, it would be very unwise, some might say abusive, to try to raise her as vegan.
Babies have literally died from their parents’ veganism being imposed on them. It is unethical to voluntarily force a baby to be vegan, especially if you are not very very educated on the nutritional needs of an infant.
NTA
Yuck, your friend is incredibly obnoxious. NTA
I don’t know all the things, but it doesn’t sound right to put a growing child on any kind of restrictive diet that has not been prescribed by a doctor (example: keto diet is actually a prescription diet developed for people with epilepsy)
Edit: actually, I think you should go off on your friend on why restrictive diets for your children is actually more detrimental than beneficial. There is research on it. The facts are there. Your friend is an idiot. You’re nta.
NTA for not pushing veganism on your child at such a young age, as forcing dietary choices on infants can be harmful and unnecessary, it’s important to let them develop their own preferences when they’re ready, but also ensure they receive proper nutrition in the meantime, what do you think about balancing healthy options without restricting entire food groups?
NTA. Sounds like she’s trying to parent your kid. Is she a militant vegan? I’d probably drop the “friendship” if she thinks her opinion has any weight at all
NTA. First of all, not her kid, not her business. Second, there’s been studies that show a vegan diet is not the healthiest diet for babies and small children. While protein is important for muscle growth, it’s the fats that are needed for healthy brain development. Omega 3s are the big ones, DHA is in the omega 3 group and is only available in animal sourced fats, mainly fish. It has a much higher bioavailability than EPA and ALA, which are plant sourced. Kids have different nutritional needs than adults and I wouldn’t recommend blindly making the switch because it can result in deficiencies. I do support a whole foods and heavy plant based diet. You can look up research studies and speak with your pediatrician and use that to defend yourself, but ultimately if she can’t respect your decision then she’s probably not a good friend in the long run.
Here’s the thing, eating meat is ALSO a value (please note, I eat meat). What matters the most is ensuring that she has her nutritional needs met. Since veganism is new to you, that might be a little overwhelming. There is truly nothing wrong with raising your kids according to your values, but safety and health come first. You can raise her vegan, ore vegetarian, or whatever, as long as nutritionally she is ok. Plenty of kids are raised vegan and vegetarian. Everyone likes to view a less-common diet as “values driven,” but so is eating meat. You are NTA either way.
NTA
Let your kid choose what they want to eat (when older of course, not a toddler)
NTA for considering the impact on your child before the impact on the animal industry (or whatever excuse your friend is giving you to be mad at you for a child that is none of her damn business, so long as that child is safe).
This just puts me in mind of the whole bottlefed vs breastfed debate. The answer is a fed child is best.