For context, I got to know my male bff was hanging out with a guy who had a crush on me. I told him I’m not interested, and nothing happened. I once sent a fit pic to him, and I guess the guy was there so he showed it to him, and the guy commented something about my body, and my friend didn’t say anything. That’s what he told me.
He had also done some other weird stuff, like talk about my body in an explicit way, completely losing it on the mention of me being in a relationship, also being against the idea of me dating ever, lately also has been touching me accesively (my fault that I didn’t say no when I should have).
He has been a great friend all these years, idk why he’s been acting this way, I was ready to talk to him about this, clear it all, but the latest thing he did was too much. He asked me for a nude. Knowing full well, that he is dating a girl who is both of our friend.
And I told her about this, the whole lot, and they had a fight. He sent me a lot of hateful texts and used all my insecurities against me, even went so far and brought other people to come down to condemn me, he accused me of ruining his relationship. The texts he sent to other friends aren’t much different than these.
It’s been a week or so we haven’t talked. i talked to his gf, and it seems that she’s forgiven him to give him one last chance and said that I should also try to talk things out with him. We both feel bad, and I don’t want to lose a friendship, but idk if we can go back to being the way we were.
Sorry for typos.
Comments
Yeah no, that’s not friendship anymore that’s manipulation with a side of disrespect. Asking for nudes, blowing up when you set a boundary, dragging others into it? That’s not someone who cares about you, that’s someone who wants control. You can forgive for your own peace, but going back to “normal” isn’t safe or smart. Let that bridge burn.
Why would you want to be friends with someone like this?
Some friendships don’t break, they reveal. What you had might’ve felt safe once, but someone who crosses your boundaries, then punishes you for standing up for yourself, was never protecting the friendship, only their control in it. You’re not overreacting. You’re finally seeing clearly.