I’m 23, living with my family, and honestly, I absolutely hate my life right now.
A little backstory: I completed my B.Tech in June 2024 from a different city. I always knew I wanted a full-time on-site office job because I really didn’t want to come back home. But things didn’t go as planned. I couldn’t find an on-site job, and I didn’t want to sit unemployed, so I accepted a remote job and started working from July 1st.
Still, I stayed hopeful. I kept telling myself that this is temporary, and after completing a year, I’d find a second job—this time in a better city, and on-site. That hope kept me going.
But then, everything changed. My elder sister (30) got diagnosed with CKD. Since then, our entire family has been worried and constantly going to hospitals. Her treatment is ongoing in the same city where I did my college, and we’re all just trying to take things one day at a time.
My parents already never wanted me to move away, and now they have a reason to hold me back. And I get it. I understand they need support, and I’m also very scared and sad about my sister. We don’t know what the future looks like or if she’ll ever fully recover.
But at the same time, I’m feeling stuck and helpless. I want to leave this city and start fresh. I want to live in a new place, do a proper job, and just have a life that feels mine. Peaceful. Independent. Purposeful.
Right now, I feel like I’m just watching time pass by. I don’t know when—or if—that future I imagined will ever happen. And it’s eating me up slowly.
If anyone’s been in a similar situation, how did you deal with it? I don’t want to sound selfish, but how do you balance wanting your own life with your family’s needs? What would you do if you were in my place?
Comments
Hey OP, legit tough spot ya got there, can’t begin to fathom how stressed out u must feel right now. Some freestyle advice tho – fam comes first, always, but u gotta remember self-care ain’t selfish. Sucky circumstances aside, it’s still ur life. Stick to the grind with the remote job for now, and use ur off-hours to scope out big city prospects. If feasible, maybe rent a small place there, a personal getaway for rebooting?
Remember, it’s not betraying your family to want your own life. Progress can b real slow man, but hang in there. Everything becomes a bit easier when you stop expecting an overnight miracle and start planting seeds day by day. Just my 2 cents. Gl, and hope ur sis gets better soon 🙏💕.
I have been in this situation. I’m going to tell you what my therapist told me, and it’s really going to hurt.
This is not your problem.
Really. Say it out loud. I know you’ve felt like you had to be responsible, you have to take care of your sister, you have to stay living with your parents.
No you don’t.
You are locked in a room, yes, but you’re the only one with the key. You need to get up and get out that door. You need to be the person who grabs control of your life and starts living it. Because supporting your sister is not your problem, and I’m so sorry your parents have made you feel like that burden needs to be on your shoulders.
I have been in your place. Feeling like I needed to support my family, that I was going to spend the rest of my life worrying about how I was going to take care of my brother. And it wasn’t my problem. I left, I moved out, and I felt so, so bad about myself. Like I was failing my mother. And failing my brother. But I deserve to live my own life. To have my own place. And you deserve that, too.
It’s tough. Sorry you’re in this position. Can you continue to seek positions in your dream city or do you need to relocate there first. Alternatively you can wfh and save up, and do the big move when you can. Perhaps a proper city that’s not too far and you can still travel home from time to time. Putting yourself first when it comes to your occupation especially when you’re single and no dependents isn’t selfish imo.