Greetings everyone,
Location: California
So recently, my wife changed a general purpose storage closet into a calming closet for our kids. Before this closet was used to store large toys, board games, and just general household things that might have been used maybe one or twice a month.
I cleaned out a closet in the downstairs bedroom, currently the office, so we were able to move most of the large items into there while donating the rest. With all that free space, my wife thought it would be nice if the kids had an area to decompress/calm down, and started working on it. Its also worth mentioning that my kids have been having some issues with their tempers hence the reason to convert the closet into a “Calming Area”. We thought it’d be good for the kids so in the event that they get over stimulated or are just having a hard time, they could go in there and use a child lock(located on the inside) to take a break from everyone. It decorated with posters that are explanative of emotions, soft toys, and things that are able to hold their attention that are not tech related.
So my issue begins when my father saw it and flipped out, threatening to call CPS on us for “Locking our kids in the closet as a punishment”. For the record, the kids are always welcome to use it when they want time to themselves and at our recommendation when they’re having a hard time regulating their emotions. It has not been used as a form of punishment.
The thought of having CPS called is quite worrisome, but my question is would this situation be reason for concern?
The closet is well illuminated, surrounded by soft toys and stimulation toys/items, and posters that are suppose to help with calming, but considering it is a closet, I’m not sure if it would be a cause for concern.
Thanks in advance!
Comments
You can call it whatever gentle parenting lingo you want, from the outside it reads as locking your kids in the closet when you can’t deal with them. I would discontinue this practice and find healthier ways for you and your children to handle emotions. Yikes.
Is there a lock on the door from the outside? Or a way to keep it shut?
If someone reports it as a punishment space, then yes, they will investigate. Particularly if you don’t have advice from a pediatric mental health professional that this is a good idea, I can see where a social worker might view it negatively.
NAL.
If your kids wanna chill in the closet, there’s nothing wrong with that. I, along with many others, played in the closet as a kid. If your dad is deadset on calling cps and you don’t wanna deal with them or him. Just lose the lock on the inside.
Take the door off and hang a curtain there. Boom.
Are you … are you locking them in there?
I think that’s the key.
Kids getting sent to their room for time-out is one thing. Overstimulated kids having a sensory space to calm themselves — great, man. Like, hospitals have spaces like this. Pretty sure it’s cool and fine.
But like … locking your hyper kid in a closet until they calm down is abuse.
It’s going to be a red flag, even with soft stuff in the room.
Now…if you have a child with special needs and it’s for safety, and you have worked out a calm down space as a medical/safety necessity in advance with medical/therapy providers, you may get away with it if you also have cameras or a way of monitoring for safety. But…generally locking a kid in a space is not appropriate.
My friends were foster parents of older kids but had a tiny playroom under the stairs for their bio littles. CPS had no issues with it. If anything, the professionals I talk to find that kind of space beneficial, as long as the child has control of when they enter and leave. We spent a lot of time at their home and my autistic little son loved having a calm down space without the other kids.
Your intentions seem good, but this is just way too close to turning into a bad situation, especially if people you trust are questioning it.
Remove the door. Replace it with a curtain. This always gives the child the choice to enter or leave at their choice. It also defeats any allegations of locking a child in the closet or them possibly locking themselves in.
Are you forcing/obliging them to be in there? Are they allowed to leave whenever they choose? Is it used as a means of correction or punishment from their point of view? Or is it purely a safe space they’re encouraged to go to when they’re overstimulated or stressed, and can use any time for any reason? Does it have a door or a curtain? Do they have ventilation and control over the lights?
If a child lock is on the INSIDE that essentially is locking the child in. A child lock disables the handle from working if the child is young enough and lacks the proper motor skills.
If I’m understanding this correctly, then I hope CPS is called.
A privacy lock on the inside of a space for the privacy of people using that space. They’re locking others out not being locked inside so it’s absolutely not an issue. I think the only problem is your phrasing isn’t clear.