I broke up with my ex of 2 years at the beginning of this year, because she is a liar. A month after that she came back begging to fix things and committed to going to therapy. I didn’t agree to us getting back together, but we had some sort of situation-ship and we would occasionally meet and have sex. Last week Friday she sent me a message that she got her copper IUD removed, because it was causing her discomfort. I asked her if she got a pregnancy test before getting the IUD removed and she said NO. I immediately asked her to come over and that we get a pregnancy test, which turned out to be positive.
I asked her what she would like to do and she said she would like to think about either abortion or keeping the child. Last year, before she was on any contraceptive she once fell pregnant and quickly made the decision to abort. Her reasons were that she doesn’t want a child out of wedlock, she would like to finish her Masters and work a bit before having a child. I respected her decision even though l wasn’t full in agreement. This time round l asked why she would consider keeping the child, since she is not married, still hasn’t finished her Masters and is also unemployed, l also told her that l don’t plan to marry her as well.
Then again , l started thinking that copper IUDs are quite effective and if she fell pregnant it could be an ectopic pregnancy, I then gave her money to get an ultrasound and she was told the baby is 5 weeks old and its a normal pregnancy. This raised another question as to could she have potentially removed the IUD much earlier ??. I asked her if we could schedule an appointment with her Dr and have more of an understanding of why the Dr decided to remove the IUD and also if the Dr saw anything unusual with the IUD. Also l thought this would help me confirm if she truly removed the IUD last week Friday or much earlier in the year. As soon as l mentioned that l would like to meet her Dr too, she got so defensive and mentioned that l am accusing her of lying and that me consulting her Dr with her would invade her privacy.
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She removed the IUD secretly, got pregnant, and is now dodging transparency. Consult a lawyer, demand a paternity test if she keeps it, and cut contact.
This is reproductive coercion.
P.S.: Protect yourself—she’s shown she can’t be trusted.
Ask for a dna test gif the baby. It can be down now. Be clear that you will not be marrying her. Get tested because it could also be someone else’s child.
If she removed the IUD then what she did is a form of sexual assault and reproductive abuse. Like another comment said speak to a lawyer immediately. If she keeps the child then unfortunately that is her right but she could still face consequences. I’m really sorry this happened. You should only speak to a lawyer and have the lawyer do all the communicating for you from here on out. Good luck.
You slept with somebody knowing she’s a liar and that you couldn’t trust her. Play stupid games with stupid prizes.
That being said, talk to a lawyer. Do not speak a single word to her until you’ve done that. Definitely request a paternity test while you’re at it, and again do not entertain her messages until she agrees to one.
Just want to add my own experience. It’s possible she is telling the truth. While the copper IUD is very effective, I got pregnant while I had one in (had it for 2 years prior to getting pregnant). The weird part is them not running a pregnancy test prior to removing it. However, still protect yourself in anyway you can, since she’s a habitual liar.
OP, your gf has apparently been unemployed during your whole relationship so have you been supporting her during tha time? If so, you break up and now she is mysteriousy pregnant. OP, your g doesn’t want to work and this pregnany is by design. I seriously doubt there was ever any plans for graduate school
Dude stop having unprotected sex. You got this woman pregnant twice. You have some responsibility here.
Why do you want her to keep go through with a pregnancy and raise a child on her own?
You both are problematic people who should not breed.
I feel like you have this situation under control and know what to do, but in the future WEAR A CONDOM. Always. Don’t dump your reproductive responsibility on someone else.
This girl has already had an entire abortion within your relationship and you still put it all on her. She’s a confirmed liar and you’re still having unprotected sex. Get an STD test and learn something going forward.
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Five weeks pregnant means that she conceived around 3 weeks ago depending on when she ovulated (since sperm can live in the tract for up to a week).
Fertility is immediately restored when the IUD is removed.
You’ve already gotten her pregnant once, maybe you should be responsible and use condoms.
Is this kid even yours? If she is even pregnant, I’m feeling like the answer is no. If the kid is yours, yeah you need to be at the appointments because being a good father means knowing everything there is to know medically about the child and pregnancy. This is why women are supposed to use BC properly when they have sex. If you don’t want that man to be the father of your kid, don’t fuck him! And for YOU, you got her pregnant TWICE. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM, ASSHOLE.
She has trapped you, I dare say on purpose
FFS, you dumped her due to her being a pathological liar and you kept having sex with her? Worse, you did it bare back?
Dude, hire an attorney and force a DNA test.
Get yourself STD/STI tested. And YOU get to a therapist, because your impulse control is OUT of control.
She is your ex girlfriend? She is going to do whatever she chooses. If the paternity test shows you are the father you are stuck with child support.
Going forward take reproductive responsibility- wear a condom. This has happened twice now.