We have been together for about 3 years and i have personally never experienced a bond with a person like i do with her. I love her dearly but i have been struggling recently. Some context: when we first started dating i knew she was dealing with some self confidence issues and since then i have tried everything to reassure her and build her up. Ive tried to get her involved with groups to maybe make some friends which she claims she wants, she expressed a lot of interest in disc golfing and i have been taking her to different courses every weekend trying to get some spark in her for years. But nothing comes of it. Everytime we do any activity she gets mad and legit throws a fit when she isnt perfect at it and then refuses to try again. Be that bowling top golf disc golfing etc. this then makes it to where all she wants to do is lay in bed and play games on her phone. I try to take her places with my friend group(a good mix of men and women) but she never wants to tag along. Be that us going to the lake, out of state for trips, or even just to a dinner or to grab some drinks she never wants to go. The only places she frequents are work, our apartment, and her parents house on sundays. She also hates her job. From day 1 i have tried to help her get into school, look for new professions, or even offer to help make ends meet if she needs to take a few months off and work on herself. But she never takes any action. She will not see a therapist even though she has claimed to need to see one for all 3 years weve been together. She claims that she wants to make new friends but also refuses to text the only person close to a friend that she has. This woman also(23F) went as far as to going to her parents house just so her parents would tell her her old friends was thinking of her and wanted to say hi. She refuses to do anything for herslef that could fix any of her issues or get her life to a better and happier spot and i dont know if i can keep putting this much effort in to be met with no effort on her side. It really pains me to say because i truly do love her. We both went to highschool together and she just seems to have grown into a completely new person over the years and i dont know what else i can do to try and bring that spark and thirst for life back. What can i do to maybe fix our situation and or have any of you experienced a situation like this? Open to any and all comments
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Sounds tiresome to deal with. More than a compatibility issue, it’s an attitude issue on her end.
I have read this story before…
99% sure I saw your gf’s post about this yesterday lol. Either that or someone else is in the EXACT same situation.
Sounds like you two just aren’t compatible. You can’t MAKE her want to do stuff. And if that’s not the partner you want, then the relationship is over.
My wife grew up where her parents were involved with EVERYTHING AND EVERY DETAIL. Because of that, she’s a homebody and doesnt seek out new interests. Not because she’s boring or not passionate, because she simply doesnt know.
My wife was so surprised when she’d be like I want mcdonalds at 2am, and we’d just go. She couldn’t fathom it. You have to slowly introduce it and let her know that, she might just them over you every day of the week, and its way better to learn now.