My gf ’18F’ and I ’18M’ have been dating for almost 2 years we’ve been sexually active since 10 months ago but for the life of me I can’t cum when she gives me a blowjob or when we have sex. I enjoy it but she never gets me to the point I feel like I’m going to cum. I feel a little disappointed because I make her cum and know how to arouse her and that weirdly makes me jealous of her because she’s satisfied with our sex life. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore her and will always put her pleasure over mine. I just wish she did the same for me. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, I’m not on any medication, I don’t watch porn, I only masterbate to the pictures she sends me which funny enough I can cum when I’m by myself. I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do. She has never asked me if I came so I never bring it up. And I’m so worried about hurting her self esteem because I love her. If anyone can help me understand what’s wrong with me or even just tell me that other people deal with this same problem I’d really appreciate it.
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Have you historically watched porn or masturbated a lot?
Look up Death Grip syndrome and see if that sounds plausible to what you are dealing with.
Gotta stop jerking off bro. It’s unclear how often you do it, but that’s 100% the problem.
Could be death grip syndrome. But hard to say without more info.
Ok so 1. Stop jerking off. When I got with my ex, I watched a LOT of porn. We still had sex but I could only go once a day, I was emptied out, and she wanted to go multiple times a day. She suggested I stop masturbating/watching porn. I gave it a try and within literally 4-5 days, I was back with a vengeance.
Good luck
PS- I almost forgot… once I became more experienced it got to where I would legit give my gf’s at the time directions AS they were doing it. Not only did it make it better for me, but they actually were turned on when I told them what to do.
There are a lot of different things it could be, so let’s start with your end: You may be putting too much pressure on yourself. It happens, and guys can get in their heads about it too.
On the relationship end: it is an awkward conversation, so say so! “Hey, I have something I want to talk about, and it can be awkward because I feel awkward about it, but this isn’t happening for me and I would like to try and figure out why. I think I need some help from you.” Also, this is not an uncommon hurdle for relationships. We all have to learn to talk about sex. We all have to learn to be humble about taking feedback from our partner. We all have to learn how to do it in a way that works for both of us.
Good luck! As long as both of you keep growing together, you’ll figure it out!
I had this problem before. Try coaching her through it. Give positive and negative feedback for what you enjoy and dislike. And try mixing up what you guys do. Have her try different grip pressures, and techniques and all that.
Know someone who is 40 and has had this problem their whole life. Cannot finish with any woman or man, only masterbation. And he is kinky and into bdsm stuff. Still cant get him over the top.
If you REALLY don’t watch porn and don’t masturbate to anything apart from her photos – you’re a great soldier, my young friend. Usually that’s the number 1 cause of ED and lack of orgasms in men these days. They just filled their minds with so much porn filth that it makes impossible for a normal, even super hot girl, to satisfy a guy, without bringing her hot friends to do a lesbian show, or whatever else BS a guy might consume everyday.
So, in your case I’d point to that as a main culprit: “She has never asked me if I came so I never bring it up”.
So… does she know that she can clearly see when a guy cums? Have she ever seen ejaculation? Does she understand that without it there’s no orgasm in men? Does she care at all? How does it work in real life – at some point she just stops pleasuring you and… that’s it?
I just cannot imagine the reality of it. She either is an absolute egoistical b*itch or she’s extremally inexperienced.
So women don’t come programmed with what feels good lol. And men have different preferences. Probably TMI, but when I, at 40, met my husband, I was pretty good at BJs. Never had a problem; at one time I could even get my alcoholic ex with whiskey dk to cum. Met my husband, nothing. And there was nothing wrong with him, but I wasn’t doing what felt good to him. And he taught me what he liked, as I taught him what I liked (this isn’t skill, it’s simply preference). It can be super awkward at your ages, but it’s worth it. There are a lot of “sexy games” that can help give you ideas. Go to a sex shop together, watch porn together. There’s nothing wrong with either of you.