so I have found out a few months ago that my older brother is engaged to someone I went to high school with. At first I didn’t recognize the name when he told me. But when I saw the engagement photos on his social media accounts, my stomach dropped. She used to bully me all throughout high school. Not just casual mean-girl stuff either honestly, she made my life hell. She mocked my weight, started rumors that I had an STD and even once put a fake note in my locker saying a guy liked me when it was just a joke between her and her friends. I used to cry in the bathroom between classes. My self-esteem was wrecked for years. She just stopped messing me when I reported them to the school principal. My brother said that now she’s apparently grown up. She has a marketing job and when I stalked her, I saw posts about mental health and empowerment. My brother says she barely remembers me, that she wasn’t like that anymore and that I’m being petty for not moving on. He wants me to come to the wedding and be happy for him.
I told him I won’t go. I don’t want to sit there smiling and pretending everything is fine while watching my brother marry someone who once actively made my life miserable. He’s furious and says I’m ruining the biggest day of his life over teenage drama. My parents are staying out of it and they don’t want to force me going which I really appreciate. AITAH for not wanting to go??
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NTA. Tell him you’re not going and that you will have no contact with her either.
INFO: how are they engaged and you’ve never once seen her photo, talked to her, or called her???
I mean NTA but this is weird all around
How has her name not come up before? You had no clue he was dating your bully prior to his posting engagement photos? That seems odd to me.
your brother clearly doesn’t give a shit about you. as if that’s the only woman on earth my god. don’t go to the wedding and cut contact with both
NTA—it might be a different story is she was apologizing and acknowledging the past harm. It sounds like “she changed” but never made any amends for the wake of hurt in her past. I hate the brush it under the rug/they’re different now shit.
NTA – so if someone barely remembers you, is that like an instant apology? And you know what, I would prefer a bully to remember because it at least means they can recognize the damage done and possibly grow from it.
You should be real with him. “ Brother, I am really happy for you that you found love and your person. I am sure there are a lot of great qualities I can learn about her once I get to know her. I know people change and kids do things for odd reasons… but to be honest I am struggling with this. I want to be happy for you and I want to be close to your future wife. But I think maybe would be good if we had a conversation. Your fiance really bullied me hard as a child. It deeply impacted my mental health and self esteem. She really was bad at about it. I am really fucked up about this and it makes me really sad. If she is open to it I’d like to maybe talk to her and see what she has to say.”
that’s if you wanna give her a chance. I would. If she doesn’t react well or if you don’t want to pursue anything further that’s your right
I’ve seen this story several times.
NTA, don’t go and don’t be in the same space with her. You owe him nothing.
Dating long enough to get engaged and you didn’t know who she was?
I’m not buying it.
How old are you?
I think you do.go.and you confront that AH and you make sure everyone there knows what that AH did.
You, however are NTA.
Go and then object to the marriage. Bring a miniature bull horn!
What if she made a public apology to you in front of the whole family?
Go to the wedding, you don’t have to be friendly, just polite. You do not even have to stay for the entire reception if you feel uncomfortable. If you don’t go you are still being bullied! Hopefully you have both matured!
NTA.
Go no contact. If he can find love in someone that eas willing to hurt you then it’s a wrap.
Ah, yes, nothing in the universe more cruel than a teenage girl. Still, she is going to be family and you’ll need to negotiate some truce.
IMO, you should attend the wedding. Consider it extending an olive branch and see how she responds.
You are right to have those feelings of resentment, and the choice to exclude yourself from what is supposed to be your brother’s happy day.
Know at some stage going forward your paths will cross , and I hope she will take it apon herself to give a meaningful and heartfelt apology.
But don’t order that pizza just yet …
Oh, she remembers you just fine, and she remembers making you miserable for years. “Barely remembering you” means she can gloss over all her shitty behavior and not have to apologize to you for it. She hasn’t changed a bit, and your brother is buying her BS because he wants to continue to sleep with her. Tell him you’d rather stick a fork in your eye than watch him marry that beotch.
NTA. Yeah I can understand where you’re coming from. I got lucky, she didn’t, she was killed in a car accident a month or so after we graduated high school. Now I don’t feel bad about it though I’m sure she had Parents who loved her and I feel bad for them. But she was horrible to me. Though she never got satisfaction knowing I was terrified of her. I know that drove her nuts.
Well one thing you’re going to have to see her at some point I would just be civil and ignore her and then she starts up crap with you again video and audio record everything when you’re with her. Hopefully you’re in a one-party state if you’re in the US or you’re somewhere where you can record without worrying about legal issues if the other person doesn’t know.
Pretty sure this is a movie.
NTA – I personally woud go and make a speech. My brother married my bully, I hope they get the life they deserve, in hell.
Yeah, this story is reused so often. We get it, womenz are bad and mean.
NTA! Bullsht she doesn’t remember you. She’s a coward for not admitting she was a btch who made your life miserable. It would show she changed if she reached out and apologized to you.
I wouldn’t go. And why didn’t you get to meet this girl before they were engaged? If you’re not good enough to introduce a new GF to, why does he care if you’re at his wedding?
I’ve read this story about 5 times. Come up with something original please
She has never apologized or taken any accountability. Instead, they hid from you until it was too late because they knew their relationship was problematic.
An apology without changed behavior is meaningless, and you didn’t even get an apology.
You don’t go. You don’t support it. Your brother can spout nonsense all day long about how she has changed… but if her bad behavior towards you is taking up so little space in her brain, she isn’t sorry for how she treated you… she is just sorry there are people out there who know how much of a monster she is. Pretending she can’t remember is her excuse so she doesn’t have to do any of the hard work of making amends.
Your brother is unreliable in noticing if she has changed because some girl is touching his privates and he is thinking with his downstairs brain. It is astonishing the number of peoplrn especiaoly men, who are completely clueless and blind to how catty their partners are and tend to brush it aside because they don’t want to deal with drama. Many ignore the issue because it is easier to appease and they know if they intervene, no more fun for them.
Your brother wants you to go because he will look bad if you don’t. Don’t let him spin it. You tell people straight up he is engaged to your long time unapologetic bully. You tell everyone exactly what she did and how she has zero accountability. Let your brother look like the monster he is for even going out with the person that tormented his sibling in the first place.
NTA go no contact
She was a kid, you are now an adult so be an adult. Your self esteem is still wrecked if you can’t get past a kid. She should be the one to feel bad, not you.
Be there for your brother. Tell her that you are glad she grew up to be a good person. To be the better person, some time you have to act like the better person until you are used to it. Don’t miss this great opportunity!
NTA The axe might forget, but the tree remembers.
Seems like the bully never apologised and felt bad about this to OP. She must also have figured out who she was. So NTA for not respecting her big day.
The cherry on the cake: bully girl now pronounces about mental health to the wider world…
It is a shame that your brother treated you so dismissively. I would not be going to the wedding if my brother was marrying my tormenter.
If she were decent she’d call you and apologize.
When you see her, ask if she’s still a bully. Don’t let her off the hook. Confront her. Let her know she’s the baddie and that you remember so she better not pretend like it didn’t happen.
This isn’t over teenage drama, this is someone that cause mental and emotional damage to you. The fact that he claim she barely remembers you to me makes it worse because she didn’t even care what she did to you.
NTA, stand your ground.
NTA. Bullies typically don’t remember people they’ve tormented but I’ll bet you could provide specific examples to her. Not suggesting you do that unless her and your brother ask for proof but people do have to realize that when you do something mean to people they won’t forget it.
Oh this is very sad. Im sorry!
I’ve seen this post before, very nearly word for word.
lol this is the plot of the movie You Again.
Top 5 most reposted story.
Who doesn’t know or recognize the name of someone who bullied them ALL through high school?
How would you not know the name of high school bully- I’d remember it better than most of my friends?
NTA. My take: Her saying that she barely remembers you is BS.
Edit: Give him a laundry list of the things that she did to you in high school and ask him to see if that jogs her memory.
Thanksgiving and Christmas are lining up to be Ah-May-Zing!!!!!
He’s not very smart.
Tell him, “your wedding is far more likely to be ruined if I do show up.” Leave it cryptic. Plant that seed. Don’t answer when he asks what you mean by that, except maybe to say that he should just tell everyone that you have influenza. And then…don’t go.
Alternate option: go, look amazing, bring a hot guy (maybe her former unrequited crush or ex?) as your date, and give her your best perfectly backhanded mic-drop style speech.
Jesus, not at all. Unless she gave you a truly heart felt apology fuck her and fuck your brother.
What a nightmare. Tell your brother this is so messed up. Years ago this kid had a big crush on me. He called me all the time and he wouldn’t leave me alone. He was two years younger and I kind of laughed the whole thing off, but he persisted to the point that I had to tell him in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t interested. He got really pissed at me. At the time I figured hey- he’s young and has this huge crush and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. Life went on. One night I spotted him waiting tables in my favorite restaurant. He was now 6 ft. 4″ and gorgeous. I laughed to my friend that he got the last laugh. That I shot him down in high school and now he’s hot. He waited on us at some point on another occasion and he was polite and nice. He didn’t seem weird around me and I figured- hey, that was high school and who cares anymore right? So another year goes by and I find out he is dating my younger sister. Ok- that’s cool. We were all out one night and I mentioned about how he had that crush on me and he looked at me coldly and said “I don’t know what you are talking about”. I figured he was embarrassed I brought it up in front of my sister- but the way he looked at me was kind of scary. Fast forward another year. My sister tried to break up with him and he stalked her. It got so bad that one night he climbed on her roof and was looking in her window. She actually had to move to get away from him. Moral to this story- is some people don’t change. I’d be weary of this woman inserting herself in your life.
You are entitled to your feelings. It is wrong of him to dismiss them. Does he even know how it feels to be bullied for years? If he doesn’t, and he is more familiar with the adult version of her than the school bully version, then it’s not surprising that he has trouble understanding how serious this is for you. It’s good that your parents are staying out of it and letting you two handle it like adults. I would suggest, jf the wedding isn’t any time soon, to take a break from communicating with the family in general, and really examine your feelings. Give yourself a breather. Accept that your brother is not deliberately trying to hurt you by marrying someone you hate. If, after a good long reflection, you are sure that you can not attend his wedding and be nice, then do what feels right. Tell him you will respect his feelings enough to not bring them with you to where he is, but it js too much for him to just stop feeling what you feel right now.
If she has changed, then maybe she will ask for an opportunity to meet you and apologize. After you have managed to let go of some of your hurt, then a sincere apology from her may help you let go of some more.
Although this brother is your Bio-Kin; he clearly is NOT your REAL FAMILY
Blood doesn’t make the family Love Does
Block Him and His Wife
Your REAL family and friends will be on YOUR side
N
T
A
Go to the wedding and during the speeches tell everyone there what she did to you. A brother that’d do this to you isn’t a good one.
NTA but people can grow. She may have.
Plot twist – I absolutely LOATHE my brother, and when he got married my mom forced me to go. On the other side of the country.
The strategy is to be in as many photos as possible, introduce yourself to everyone you can, cut it up on the dance floor, make a speech. Literally infect every single memory with your essence.
So that when it’s over, you can look them both in the face and tell them to rot in hell and you fucking hate them. That way they will never be able to look at a picture of their wedding without being reminded. Any time people talk about your wedding you’re going to be the person they talk about. their day becomes your day.
I did this to my brother and it was very effective.
NTA. Don’t give in, screw them both.
No, NTA. What happens to us during high school years remains as vivid as if it were yesterday, and the kind of hurt it causes never goes away, it just gets pushed to a very back burner. Circumstances cause things about people to change over the years, but I really believe at our very core we remain the person we always were. Your brother may be in for the time of his life with this girl because although she may claim to barely remember you, I bet that’s not true. You’re right for not “blessing” the wedding by not going. Just wish your brother luck; he’s going to need it.
I’m not sure how long ago she bullied you, but I’m definitely not the same person I was in high school. This sounds like you are holding on to something that you would probably be better off letting go of and maybe have a conversation with her.
Oh, maybe she really changed? Considering that she went out of her way to apologize to you, admitted how wrong of her it was, and promised to keep her distance until you are ready… Wait, she did no such thing! She just played ” I don’t remember” bullshit card and your bro believed her.
This is how you know that she actually the very same shitty person. NTA
Oh heck no. If she grew as x person. Why hasn’t she apologized? I mean I would. like how hard is to say I’m sorry for what I said/did in high school. I know it affected you very badly. I can’t make it right. I am in love with your brother and want to have his babies. I don’t want my past yo effect their relationship with the family. Again I’m truly sorry. How hard was it?
This is almost like the plot to You Again….
You need to let that shit go and move on with your life. The amount of power you’re still giving her by letting it affect you is much more than you think.
NTA – especially since the fiancé has not shown any remorse or accountability for her actions and at least apologized. Instead, she said she barely remembers you. Tell your brother he should be glad you are not attending the wedding because you would expose his fiancé for the monster she was and the hell she put you through, and then put the spotlight on him for marrying her so you have no choice but to relive your PTSD and pour up being exposed to her to “be the better person for family’s sake”.
NTA. How can you be happy for him if he’s marrying someone that made your life a living hell for years. It’s not teenage drama, that was trauma and it’s not been long enough for her to forget you that easily. You were her source of entertainment for years. You don’t have to be happy for him. Sorry, not sorry. I would stay far away from family events if I were you. I dont necessarily think she’s changed in 4 years.
ETA: the fact that she said she doesn’t remember you, is irrelevant, because she doesn’t recognize the name. She will recognize my face. All of mine have and Ive been out of school for 17 years.
People like that don’t change.
She sounds like a right narcissist . A very popular set of topics with narcissist in these new days. Are “boundaries ” empowerment” and mental health “. They have learned therapy language to better disarm and shred people while looking reasonable . It’s deadly .
You brother is fixing to find out what you already know .
NTA
Not ‘remembering’ how truly awfully hard you make someone else’s life is nowhere near good enough. No apology would be enough to even make me consider being in the same space as this person. She’s obviously ’empowered’ enough to dismiss her behaviour which continued for a very long time, so she can be empowered enough to accept that she will never be allowed anywhere near you ever again.
NTA. You’ve empowered yourself to stand your own ground.
NTA. Tell ur bro that if you go, you would ruin her moment because vengence is swift.
Of course she doesn’t remember you OP, she was not the one being bullied. The axe forgets but the tree remembers. NTA. It’s probably best you reduce contact with your brother. Your parents at best are bystanders. I am not impressed with them either
She’s either lying about not remembering you because she doesn’t want to own up to her behavior or she bullied so many people she that she can’t remember everyone she was horrible to and bullied.
NTA
I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.
omg this is literally the plot of the movie you again
NTA. Wow, shame on your brother. If someone bullied my sister, the last thing that would cross my mind is “gee, this person would make a great life partner”. I have a jar of bacon grease, a smartphone, and a personality disorder, so this will get interesting quickly.
I wouldn’t go to the wedding and/or get them a gift. Don’t let your future SIL do anything other than take complete responsibility for her appalling behavior – the whole “mental health/empowerment” is a load of crap because she was the one doing the tormenting, not the one being tormented. The people who are bullied get to post about mental health and empowerment. I’ve been bullied, I understand how much it sucks and the damage it does.
I’m also Catholic, and in one of our prayers, we talk about how we’re sorry “for everything we did and everything we failed to do”. I’m not trying to convert you here, but what I am saying is that your brother’s fiancée needs to be sorry for what she did (bullying you) and what she failed to do (own up to her bad behavior by herself). She remembers you, she’s just too much of a coward to face the person she wronged.
You haven’t seen him in a while. Just live your life
Has she bothered to apologize for being a raging b*tch? NTA.
Maybe have people call her out her posts about her being a big bully in HS. You are NTA but your future SIL sure is! She should come to you and give you a real apology outlining the terrible things she did. If she doesn’t say what she is apologizing for it’s just lip service! I’m proud of your shiny spine!
WTF? Why do people insist of saying “ you’re ruining my biggest day “ every time a family member doesn’t want to participate in their day ? You’d think it would be better they not show up than sit there with disgust written all over their face.
OP you have every right not wanting to go to someone’s wedding that made high school harder than it should have. You just don’t put those feelings aside and pretend you’re happy for them.
Also when your brother states she’s not like that anymore and doesn’t remember you at all is pure BS.
She knows what she did and pretended she doesn’t only makes it worse and proves she hasn’t changed.
NTA. If she doesn’t remember tormenting you, that says a lot about how okay she was with it.
NTA
If she was a better, changed person, she would have proactively reached out and apologized herself. She didn’t. She let your brother do it while she pretends she doesn’t even remember you.
She is awful and your brother sucks for thinking she is a reasonable human to even know let alone marry when she can’t even take ownership of her actions.
I think you SHOULD go. Then give a nice toast to the couple where you spill it.
Are we sure you didn’t steal this from a movie?
Wasn’t this a Kristen Bell movie plot? Try that stuff.
Has she reached out to you?
If not don’t go.
somehow it’s worse that she barely remembers you!
And if she had any quality at all, she would apologize even if she only vaguely remembers being mean
NTA
The plot from You Again
NTA. I seriously hate this the most about school bullies…..that they either don’t even remember it, or thought it was banter between friends that you and they were. That only makes it even worse, that they don’t even realise how deeply they messed up your life!!
Unless she comes to you with a genuinely sincere apology, I would not even ever want to be in the same room as her, let alone have to attend her wedding.
How can anyone ruin a wedding, if they aren’t there to cause a scene?
NTA
You don’t have to “get over it”.
She traumatized you.
She should apologize to you for being a horrible person at the time.
People grow up.
But it doesn’t remove any bad thing that they did.
How did you not know who your literal brother was dating until he got engaged
How great that she barely remembers the person whose life she made hell.
I am petty. I would go, hold a speech and talk about the great memories.
„I remember when xy told everyone I had an STD. That was so funny!“
„Oh brother, I hope you stay in shape. Or she will tell you too that you are fat.“
Did she ever apologise? No. She didn’t. So she doesn’t regret it at all. If you don’t go, tell him that you wish him best, cause he chose his dick above everything else.
This is for the rest of your life. Better learn to stand up to your bully at some point.
NTA and I’d say stay away.
Unless she gives an honest open apology for her behavior and the pain, she forced on you for years, she doesn’t deserve to be in your presence. And your brother is minimizing your pain as well.
I’ve read this story at least 3 or 4 times before. Come up with something original if youre going to make up stories for reddit.
NTA
If anything, you’re a better person than I am for not going to the wedding just to make fun of her appearance and start rumors that she has an STD.
>My brother says she barely remembers me
Tell him that the ax forgets, but the tree remembers.
> that she wasn’t like that anymore
Then how come she hasn’t acknowledged the harm she did and expressed repentance for it?
>I’m being petty for not moving on
You haven’t moved on because bullying has profound effects and leaves lifelong scars. Tell him to Google it and then get back to you about the impacts of bullying into adulthood.
NTA
NTA. Trauma from bullying stays with you forever, damaged your trust in others and makes forming friendships harder due to trust issues.
If she was sincere and had changed she would reach out, not your brother telling you to get over it.
A girl I attended high school with was a bully, at our 20 year reunion she apologised to me, she hadn’t bullied me but my best friend who wasn’t at the reunion, we look similar however. I told her I’d let my friend know. The bully only realised the harm she did when her child was bullied to the point of self harming…..
So no your feelings are completely valid and it’s not on you to fix this.
NTA. The fact that she “barely remembers” you and did not offer an apology is telling. Stand your ground and don’t go to the wedding.
NTA. If she’s changed, she would have sought you out at some point and apologized.
NTA but I would go and start to give a congratulations speech and then air her out. Then go no contact
NTA. Does he know all she put you through? Maybe he should know what she’s capable of. Oh, she remembers you and if he believes that she doesn’t I’ve got a castle I’ll sell him for only a million bucks.
Don’t be bullied into going to the wedding. He’s made his choice, now he can live with it, I mean her.
Be careful of the sneak attack where they ambush you where you can’t get away without making a scene. She’ll be all gooey and apologetic in front of him. Yeah, have a tiny Oscar to hand her.
They’ll probably be divorced in a few years. I feel bad for him. Worse for their kids.
This is the issue with being bullied. To them we’re a barely remembered ‘loser’ and to us, they’re a fundamental part of our childhood experience that was horrific. Unless you’ve been bullied you’ll never get it.
OP not much you can do except decide your future. She’s about to be his wife and he’s chosen her over you. It’s now your choice how you progress with your life and with your own kids. For my son, I made sure he’ll never be me, he’s been in martial arts training since he could walk and has been told that any bullying he gets aside from normal kid crap to hit right between the eyes and legs. I’d he gets expelled so be it – much smaller price to pay than a lifetime of remembering.
NTA
How often did the principal have to confront her about bullying for it not to be something that stuck out in her memory?
Tell him it’s his turn to be bullied now. Get ready.
You never met her or heard anything about her before they got engaged?
NTA. You’re not ruining his day. There will be plenty of other people there to distant him from your lack of presence.
If he let’s this ruin his day, that’s on him and his inability to be compassionate and empathetic towards you.
Umm what? Fuck HER! Mental health and empowerment? Why hasnt she reached out to you to make amends? Because she clearly didnt think what she did to you and prob others was a big deal. Fuck her and stand your ground OP.
NTA. Why put yourself through that. It’s easy for your brother to dismiss your feelings as teenage drama, he wasn’t the one feeling the pain and intensity of being continuously bullied and victimized by this now fiancée at a pivotal time in your life and development
Kudos to your parents, also, for being sensitive to your feelings and not trying to guilt you or force you. That shows real maturity and compassion for you on their part
She barely remembers you but she knows you turned her into the principal after which she turned her life around?!?? GTFOH She can’t have it both ways, and if she remembers the visit to the principal and it was such a huge moment she changed her life she absolutely remembers you.
But in reality she didn’t change because she can’t be arsed to apologize, just make excuses, dismiss you, and try to minimize you. Just a more polite version of the shit she was doing before.
NTA
NAH
The problem is, he is going to marry her. She will be in your family, so what will you do? Never have contact with her? Go no contact, or maybe just low-contact?
The way I see it, you can continue to relive you trauma and be miserable, or you can take ownership of your well being. Tell her you two need to have a serious sit down with only the two of you.
Tell her how her and her group made you feel. Tell her about the years of damage to your psyche she caused. Ask her why you should give her a chance to be in your life.
It’s not inconceivable that she really doesn’t remember being the terror she was in high school. She really could be reformed.
Assuming you have a good BS detector, if she shows contrition and genuine remorse, MAYBE you might be able to have a future where you can get along with her. Worst case scenario, you now say you made an effort when they complain about not going to the wedding.
NTA if she has actually changed she would have apologized she also would remember you and what she did to you so I think you are right not to obviously she’s not taking any accountability so why put yourself around her and even if she did you still don’t have to forgive and forget.
Her prior actions set the stage for disharmony in her new family. Put evil into the world and it will find it’s way back to you. This is on her.
NTA
She “barely remembers” you because your traumatic events were just a normal Wednesday for her.
But she’s lying to him because she does remember you.
You don’t have to move on. You don’t need to forgive. She hasn’t even apologized, so why would you forgive her?
Why does your presence mean so much to him?
Let him know that it is BEST if you don’t go.
You are trying to be nice by not going.
You have no idea what you’ll say at a party with a few drinks in you when everyone is trying to tell you how lovely she is. When you know different.
That should help.
And thank your parents for being neutral. Too many interfere to force “family” to keep the peace.
NTA
Go no contact with your brother. He made his choice. There’s zero chance she doesn’t remember you. Stay far away from both of them.
And she may well dump him just prior to the wedding or do a no-show on the wedding day
Don’t go
nta on not going to the wedding however what do you plan on doing when there are family gatherings and holidays?
Isn’t this the plot to a movie?
it’s alwaysssssssss the girls who post infographics about mental health that were making someone else’s life hell in high school. it’s like they have a guilty conscience
Has she ever taken steps to make amends? Because of she hasn’t – NTA but even if she had, NTA. If I was a dad and had that knowledge about what had happened to you because of her, I would be talking to him and asking wtf….
NTA, fuck that bitch. Now she messing with your life years AFTER highschool? Oh hell nah…
I don’t think “she barely remembers you” is the flex they think it is. That sounds like her victims were too numerous to remember or she just doesn’t feel bad about it.
I wouldn’t want to go. It might be different if she had called you up and made a heart felt apology—but the whole world knows at this point how damaging bullying and she is still comfortable minimizing it. It doesn’t make her seem like she’s evolved like she wants social media to think she has.
Got bullied a lot from kindergarten through 11th grade, when I finally confronted the worst bully and busted his nose and got a black eye from him! I got suspended for 3 days, but he got permanently kicked out of school!
Time to confront your sister-in-law, sorry to say.
OR… and hear me out here… agree to go and then when it gets to the part about anyone objecting to the union of this man and woman stand up and let your heart sing!
Because if he really wants to say you’re ruining the wedding lets really go and ruin a wedding! You’d hate to make a liar out of him,
NTA!
EDIT: Kudos to your parents for staying out of it.
NTA. She made your life miserable, and just because time passed doesn’t erase that. You don’t owe anyone fake smiles or forced forgiveness, especially on a day that’s supposed to be about love and happiness. Your brother can marry her, but you’re not wrong for not wanting to celebrate it.
NTA – Your brother made his choice and you get to make yours.
Hell no you’re not the asshole. Your trauma is real.
Wasn’t this the plot to a movie? You Again with Kristen Bell.
I’d say go to the wedding and give her a piece of your mind in front of everyone.
How much older is your brother? Didn’t he know she was bullying you at the time?
NTA, your mental health comes first…period. You won’t be the first and definitely not the last to hate your future outlaw (in-law). He’s a big boy and will survive as it’s not like your stopping the wedding. Kudos to your parents for staying out of it and respecting your decision.
Forget the wedding and on that day treat yourself to a spa day. Best wishes, stay strong and update me.
This sounds so much like the plot of the movie “You Again” but no NTA it doesn’t sound like she’s tried to make amends with you which is wild to me, considering you will be her sister in law. Sorrry OP that kind of stuff can take you right back to a hard place when its brushed under the rug and you are expected to be “over it” somehow without resolution.
“Most important day of MY LIFE!”
For now 🤨
Fast-forward: birth of ds, ds dance rectal, sil/bully is overwhelmed, can’t pull up my underwear
STAND YOUR GROUND!! nta
so you haven’t spoken with her? And they are getting married?
maybe meet up with her first? “Do you remember me?” and see where it goes from there. maybe a reminder or two, if needed. And let her reaction and response determine whether you can accept any genuine apology, if one is offered.
Sounds like high school was recent. You’re fine, you don’t have to go. I feel sorry for your brother because a person’s personality in high school is set for life. She’s putting on a veneer for him and whomever but it won’t last.
Has the bully apologized to you or claiming that she doesn’t remember you? My son had a bully in middle school. It definitely affected his confidence. We switched him to private school for high school and the bully problem went away.
What’s the record for longest period between “My sibling is marrying my bully” posts? Gotta be about 36 hours.