Me, 18(F) and my boyfriend 20(M) together for 6 months, have had an accident and I have been pregnant, I am 8 weeks pregnant and it’s been absolutely the hardest thing to go through, my abortion is scheduled for a day and I’m getting it done surgically, he has not offered any support, not helped me feel better and is about to leave me for a night out and also leave me for the entire weekend after I get it, this has made me extremely upset and I have tried to express how sad I feel about it but he just shakes it off, I really wanted some sort of support the weekend after especially because he’s shown he has no interest or drive to coming with me for the procedure or even told me he’d come to see me after. I feel used and worthless and it’s making me feel a whole world of worse with this whole situation, how should I go about this?
TL;DR My boyfriend is going partying the night before my abortion and hasn’t shown any intention to see me the day of it or before it, and it’s clearly upsetting me, how do I go about it?
Comments
I think your title should read my ex-boyfriend is going out and partying….Would you ever ever treat another person the exact same way that he’s treating you right now?
Also do you have any close friends or family members to be there for support? So you’re not all alone?
Is this really a person you want to be with? He has shown no concerns for your wellbeing.
I’m sorry, hon. He’s showing you who he really is. Let the trash take itself out.
Do you have friend or relatives who can go with you to the appt & help you after?
Ditch him. He showing you that he’s not dependable.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. It’s such a difficult time and even worse to go through it alone.
Do you have other people who can support you? Most people are more understanding than you’d think, your parents for example. Even if it feels hard to tell them, your mother or sister could be invaluable support in this time and provide you better resources and mature insights.
Some people deal with grief by denying its existence. It sounds like what your boyfriend is doing. It does not change that his actions are unacceptable and selfish. It does however show you who he is, and that he would not make a good father at this time. Life always has difficult times, especially with children. It’s important to be with someone who will stick through and show up no matter what.
Sending you strength and hope.
this is never something you should go through alone, he needs to get his priorities set, have a chat
why havent you dumped this guy already? he has basically failed (in epic fashion) every single test in the relationship during a critical stage. you deserve better than this, if he wants to be a single party boy let him be a single party boy.
I am so sorry you are not experiencing support from your boyfriend. You might find support at a local pregnancy center. They can support you and your child and give you information to help you. Your child deserves life and love and so do you! You deserve much much more than an irresponsible uncaring partner. I can help you find a local pregnancy center if needed, you can message me privately.
Dump him, are you really ready to put up with this behaviour?
This is the universe showing you clearly that he is not boyfriend material, let alone being a father.
You are making the right decision re the termination, now make another good decision and chuck him.
oh hon, im so so so sorry. this is truly horrible behavior. after seeing this post and your last one, i am telling you that you need to leave this guy. you are only 18. you are so young and I promise there are so many guys out there who will treat you how you deserve to be treated. abortions are traumatic enough, and not getting the support you need from your boyfriend will only make that feeling worse, and possibly even cause some resentment towards him in the future. from your posts, your boyfriend seems to be allergic to putting in effort and supporting you during difficult times in your life. this is beyond immaturity of being a 20 year old, this is insensitive behavior towards someone he presumably loves. you deserve so much better than this.
I know it’s so difficult to see the situation from an outsider’s perspective, esp when you’re actively in the relationship and attached to the person. something that has helped me see this in the past was asking myself this question: if your best friend told you her boyfriend was treating her this way, would you want her to stay with him? is this someone you truly see a future with, or are you just attached to him? would your future husband go out partying while you’re going through something this traumatic?
is he your first boyfriend? i had a really hard time breaking up with my first too, who also lacked effort, it took SEVERAL tries for me to do it. im 22 now and happier than ever. please be safe and respond here if you need to chat. good luck with everything <3
First of all you need to drag his ass to help you through it!! Its his too.
Second of all after that is done BREAK UP with the asshole.
Find yourself a man not a selfish child
Well at least you know now that he doesn’t care about you at all. Its a rough way to learn but you really know who somone is when something hard happens and they are either there for you are they aren’t. You are young, you will find someone who respects and values a relationship with you. I am sorry you are going through this alone.
Ex-boyfriend hopefully.
This is really bad of him.
He had the fun, there was an accident and he’s leaving you to deal with the ramifications. See, that is the difference between a boyfriend and a potential partner for long term. And he’s not in the reliable partner department you can count on for support and care.
Take this very seriously.
You asked how you should go about this. Honestly, ditch him. Someone who leaves you alone dealing with something like that isn’t worth continuing with. I don’t think there is a valid excuse or reason to let you be alone with this. None at all.