i,(22F), dated my ex(21M) for a short while, about 2 months. i wanted a serious relationship and he told me he did too. but later, after wed finally had sex, he dumped me. i cried over this, made fun of him with my best friend in private. she made jokes about him just like i did to make me feel better.
this is about 5 months later, now, she told me shed spoken with him at a party and asked why he did that to me. he said ”i thought she wanted that.” which i did, but i had expressed to him i only wanted to have sex if he was serious about me. and when asked about how he broke up with me he said ”yeah i used and excuse, we just werent compatible.” and i just wish hed told me that so bad, cause i regret being intimate with him so much, and he lied to me about the reason of breaking up, saying he was too busy.
my best friend, out of nowhere asked me if im okay with them dating. i was confused. i didnt know how to react, but i said no. i guess she didnt get the message cause she asked to hang out with me. i told her ”i love you but if youre going to date him then im sorry i dont want to talk to you. you know what he did to me and he will do the same thing to you.” and i further expressed how this made me feel. she said ”i dont want to ruin our friendship over some guy, but we have a connection and i dont want to hurt his feelings.” but did he care when he hurt mine? if she does date him and i choose to stay, im gonna have to see him at events, birthdays, etc. i dont want to see him ever again.
im just upset and i dont want to lose my best friend ive had my whole life.
TL;DR best friend is choosing my ex who used me for sex.
Comments
Your feelings are valid here, you have a right to walk away for awhile. She might come back if he dumps her and it will be your choice what to do. Or they will develop a very healthy relationship and you will forgive if you feel like it. Or not. But you are young- it’s the time to learn what are boundaries and what kind of people are allowed in your life.
Sounds like you already lost your best friend. Think about it. She already knew what the guy did to you. For all either of you know, the guy could be lying about what happened to make himself look better at the end instead of saying his goal was to just pump and dump you (you said he could be sexual if he was serious about you, but he obviously is trying to spin it another way). Then she’s going to be saying she has some kind of ‘connection’ with the dude which means they’ve been talking for a bit without you knowing (not like she has to report that to you but still). Now she wants to date the dude. That isn’t your friend.