Hey, so my best friend and I had a disagreement? I don’t know what to really call it. She is obviously pregnant as the title suggests but it’s her abusive ex’s baby. He had been abusive almost their whole time together. She left after he punched her multiple times in the face and they went to court. He’s on no contact for 18 months and he may only ask about the baby when that time comes per the judges order. He has broken that since that ruling. Fast forward to more recently, he had threatened her on 7/6
I messaged her on the night of 7/9 I said “I’m so happy I have you as a best friend. literally God could not have brought me a more perfect match like wthelly lmao. so I hope you don’t get upset with me but l’ve been thinking about everything with that monster that you’ve shared with me, which I’m very grateful you trust me and feel safe enough to tell me those things but I need to be real with you. I know you’ve been building up evidence and being smart about him breaking the no contact but l’m seriously extremely scared for you. women who are pregnant or just had a baby are way more likely to be killed by an abuser. like it’s one of the leading causes of death for pregnant women in the US. I’m not saying that to freak you out I just need you to know the risk is way too real. when you told me what he said to you sunday I felt nothing but fear. hearing him punch you and threaten you on video was such a yucky and heart sinking feeling. I have already been so extremely worried about you knowing that he popped up at your place and that he is constantly calling from no caller id. honestly l’d rather you be pissed at me than me stay quiet and regret it. I need to be honest with you and i’m so nervous saying this but if you don’t report this soon, l’m probably going to do it anonymously. not to break vour trust and not to make you feel like you’re not in control but because I don’t want anything happening to you or the baby. I’d never forgive myself if something did happen to you and I said nothing. I’m still here and I’ll always be here for you forever till the wheels fall off. I just can’t stay quiet when y’all’s safety is on the line. you are such an amazing and smart woman and ik you don’t need me to tell you that I just love you and you deserve nothing but peace and safety. I hope you understand where i’m coming from. I seriously love you and i’m sorry you’re gonna wake up to this and ik you just want someone to listen and not judge which I 100% do and I support your decisions but it’s been on my mind so bad and I would be an awful friend if I just sat by and did nothing when he’s very recently crossed a major line.”
She replied the morning of 7/10 with an even more lengthy and very clearly copy/paste ChatGPT response. I apologized when I saw her message that same day. I probably could’ve worded things differently but I genuinely fear for her life and that was my genuine concern. This community doesn’t allow photo attachments and it would make this post way too long to copy and paste her messages.
I will say her response definitely rubbed me the wrong way bc it was passive aggressive and I was practically being called controlling, that it’s not about me and my conscience, and I’ll ruin things bc she needs more evidence to permanently get him out of her and the soon to be born baby’s lives… but ok I understand she’s mad. I apologized and let it go.
Aside from this, she has not been all that great of a friend tbh. We’ve been best friends for 4 years now. This whole thing brought up memories of where I felt like she’s not a great friend. I know people aren’t perfect but these specific memories give “why are you still friends with her?”. Which people have asked me. I put in more than she does but she does have her moments of being a good friend it’s not all bad. I just really wish y’all could see the reply cause yikes.
Now that y’all have the details, she’s due on the 26th. I feel like I should still reach out but what do I say? Is it best to keep giving her space and say nothing? Do I just move on from our friendship? What do I say 😭 Everything feels wrong. I really need advice. Thank you for your time.
tl;dr- my best friend has ghosted me after telling her I want to report her ex/baby dad after repeatedly breaking no contact bc I fear for her safety. she won’t yet bc she wants to build evidence. I fear something will happen before then. after her long AI reply I apologized. she has said nothing since and didn’t reply to the apology. I can understand. she’s due to give birth soon and I want to reach out that day, 7/26. what do I say if I reach out? if I shouldn’t I appreciate advice on why not as well.