I am an amateur cake maker as a side hussle of my full time job. i make cakes for friends and family if there is a celebration coming up and i also sell them occasionally too. i’m always baking cakes as i love doing it!
this weekend was my boyfriends mums birthday and we got an invite to go for the weekend. they live a good few hours drive from us so we stay overnight, I asked my own parents if they could baby sit our 2 year old daughter for the weekend so we could go. (we usually take her but this time we just wanted a break without our daughter). my parents agreed and i baked my boyfriends mum a birthday cake. it was funfetti with jam and fresh cream and i baked it the night before and decorated it the morning that we left.
i dropped my daughter with my parents and then went to see my boyfriends parents. my daughter always loves my cakes and i promised i would save her a slice when we came back. (she saw me decorating it and asked me for some but i had to explain it wasn’t for us to eat yet)
anyway, we stayed the night with his parents, his mum loved the cake but we went out for a meal and ate lots of food so there was lots of cake leftover. we all had a small slice but over half of the cake was left as it was quite a large one that i made. my boyfriends parents asked if they could keep it as they would finish it and i said of course, but i would like to take a slice for our daughter as i did promise her i would bring it back for her.
his dad cut 4 slices which we took home. we came home and i went to pick my daughter up from my parents house, they saw i had some cake and i asked if they would like it (my sister was also visiting) so everybody had a slice and my daughter was happy as funfetti is her favourite.
i went home with our daughter and my boyfriend asked where the rest of the cake was. i said my parents and my sister ate it. he was upset with me as i didn’t save him a slice and just gave it to them when he thought it was for him to eat.
i said he never asked me to save it for him and he said i didn’t ask if he wanted it or not. he was really upset that he only ate a small slice earlier after dinner and he didn’t get to enjoy it fully.
i feel like an AH for giving the cake away before checking if he wanted it, but everytime i bake, he always gets first helpings. plus his dad cut off more than we asked for to take home so i assumed it would have gone to waste if my family hadn’t eaten it.
AITA for giving the cake away to my family?
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I am an amateur cake maker as a side hussle of my full time job. i make cakes for friends and family if there is a celebration coming up and i also sell them occasionally too. i’m always baking cakes as i love doing it!
this weekend was my boyfriends mums birthday and we got an invite to go for the weekend. they live a good few hours drive from us so we stay overnight, I asked my own parents if they could baby sit our 2 year old daughter for the weekend so we could go. (we usually take her but this time we just wanted a break without our daughter). my parents agreed and i baked my boyfriends mum a birthday cake. it was funfetti with jam and fresh cream and i baked it the night before and decorated it the morning that we left.
i dropped my daughter with my parents and then went to see my boyfriends parents. my daughter always loves my cakes and i promised i would save her a slice when we came back.
anyway, we stayed the night with his parents, his mum loved the cake but we went out for a meal and ate lots of food so there was lots of cake leftover. we all had a small slice but over half of the cake was left as it was quite a large one that i made. my boyfriends parents asked if they could keep it as they would finish it and i said of course, but i would like to take a slice for our daughter as i did promise her i would bring it back for her.
his dad cut 4 slices which we took home. we came home and i went to pick my daughter up from my parents house, they saw i had some cake and i asked if they would like it (my sister was also visiting) so everybody had a slice and my daughter was happy as funfetti is her favourite.
i went home with our daughter and my boyfriend asked where the rest of the cake was. i said my parents and my sister ate it. he was upset with me as i didn’t save him a slice and just gave it to them when he thought it was for him to eat.
i said he never asked me to save it for him and he said i didn’t ask if he wanted it or not. he was really upset that he only ate a small slice earlier after dinner.
i feel like an AH for giving the cake away before checking if he wanted it, but everytime i bake, he always gets first helpings. plus his dad cut off more than we asked for to take home so i assumed it would have gone to waste if my family hadn’t eaten it.
AITA for giving the cake away to my family?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i might be the asshole for giving the cake away but i might not be because he didn’t specifically ask for it to be saved
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH. Just some reasonable assumptions on all sides, that didn’t align. Oh well. The cake must have been yummy!
YTA. He knew you were bringing cake home. Of course he expected he’d get a slice.
NTA. You didnt know he wanted it and were being generous. Seems like he gets plenty of cake so he should really stop whining. Tell him next time youll check but tbh hed still be the asshole if he wanted the cake over your family who was babysitting.
NTA. You baked the cake, you brought some home, and you made sure your daughter got the piece she was promised. It’s not like your boyfriend was clear about wanting more
NTA. If he wanted you to save you some, he should have asked you to do so. “You should have checked with me, first” doesn’t cut it.
NTA. Your parents took care of your daughter for the WE. I assume that they did it because they love her and are happy to allow you and your boyfriend childfree time. Still it was normal to bring them some cake. Your boyfriend is a little bit selfish here.
Why did you take the cake to your parent’s house in the first place? I mean, you went all the way home first, then drove to pick up your daughter. Why didn’t you leave all 4 slices at home when you dropped off your husband?
Hi, it’s a misunderstanding, but your boyfriend is being a bit more of an arse about it than he should be. Basically, if you’ve got slices of cake, like that, he probably expected that he’d have a slice at home, so I can get his disappointment. That said:
So you’re not an arsehole over it. What boyfriend should have done, is express some mild disappointment about it, explain that he really loved the cake, thank you for making it for his mother, and ask if you’d mind making it again sometime soon to enjoy as a family. He shouldn’t be seriously upset with you, but it’s ok for him to be mildly disappointed – it is cake, after all!
NTA
I assume he did have the cake at his mom’s
NAH. Just a miscommunication.
So, you gave the cake to the people who kept your two year old for the weekend so y’all could relax? NTAH just on that alone.
NTA
But his tantrum is over the top when you can make him a cake.
NTA. Just say “oops!”
NTA – If you bake often, i dont understand why he is upset. Its not like its the last cake you will ever make.
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When his father was cutting the cake to be taken home he could’ve spoken up then. When yall arrived at your parents place could’ve spoken up then. He did neither and then blamed you for not knowing what he was thinking. Shame on him… NTA.
NTA. Your family did you guys a favor and it would have been super rude to have your daughter eat cake in front of them without offering them any. Your BF really needs to understand basic manners.
He already had some, he’s being a big baby.
Your parents just babysat so you could spend time with his family. Giving them some cake is the least you could do. Might want him to remind you of that. NTA sounds like he is getting a bit spoiled and feeling entitled with the baked goods.
NAH, but it was a little rude. You gifted the cake to your bf’s parents. They agreed to your reasonable request for their grand daughter and gave you more than you asked for. Presumably for the benefit of you, your child and your bf. Your bf is crying over spilt milk though. Bake some cupcakes with dinner.
Bake himhis own cake.
NTA, bf needs to learn to speak up. I bake cakes like you do and my nearest and dearest are not at all shy about advocating for themselves at this point.
He’s the boyfriend of the baker. There will be more cake in his near future. NTA
NTA
I’m gonna actually say an ESH. He overreacted; it’s just cake, which is apparently plentiful at your house. But…it was kinda his cake that you gave away.
My reasoning:
-the cake wasn’t yours as soon as you gave it to the BF’s mom; it’s now her cake to dispose of as she desires.
-they cut slices and gave them to both you and boyfriend. So at this point your BF was given at least one slice of cake by the “owner” (his parents) which was put in the car.
-You gave away the slice without consulting him.
So…yeah, he overreacted, but in my mind you DID give away his slice.
So make him a cake just for him
NTA. You baked the cake. you asked for and were given some of the leftovers. Your daughter had expressed her desire for some of the cake. Your parents expressed an interest in the cake and you offered it to them. even your in-laws asked if they could keep the remaining cake (they didn’t automatically assume it was theirs to keep). my point here is, literally every single person involved communicated what they wanted, EXCEPT your bf. It’s his fault for not communicating and expecting you to read his mind. He should use his words like the adult he is rather than the child he acts like.
NTA. You made the cake for HIS mom. He had a chance to eat it. He could have unloaded it from the car when you dropped him off. Your parents babysat HIS (as well as your) daughter for 2 days and overnight. That is not a small thing with a 2 year old, even if they adore her (I have a 2 year old great-granddaughter). You shared some of the leftover cake to them as well as your child, who you promised it to (but left most of it for his parents). It would have been ok to have made an entire cake for your parents to show your appreciation for them babysitting. Yes, he would have liked a piece, but his complaints are uncalled for.
He’s already had some cake tell him to grow up and stop behaving like a child.
I’m going with NAH, sounds like a case of assumptions and miscommunication on both your sides with a bit of over reaction on your boyfriend’s part. I saw in a comment you mentioned he had some drinks, I don’t know if that has any part in it.
You’ve slightly wronged him by giving away his slice. But we’re adults who can comprehend the nuance of the situation and see that he is literally with you, you are a cake baker. This was a limited item for everyone but him, he’s literally got cake on tap with you. Just make him another cake and he’s happy? Easy fix imo. No need for an argument.
NAH. Both made incorrect assumptions. Use this as a learning experience to be more verbal. “Hey, your parents cut more slices of the cake than we asked for; I’m going to give the extra to my parents when I go pick up baby girl.” He made an assumption that cake slices in his house would be there when he went to eat one but you made the choice to remove them without giving him an option to voice his desire for a slice.
NTA. Make him a cake and give him a kiss. All will be well.
I’m sure there’s a joke in here somewhere about having your cake and eating it too.
I would’ve been bothered too if your partner and if roles were reversed so would u. YTA.
He knew parents had sent home and he was expecting that extra slice. U could’ve saved 1 for hus 1 for your daughter and given the other 2 but to give away his, ESPECIALLY without asking was thoughtless
NTA – you made the cake, your parents babysat for you, your daughter asked for a slice. What did boyfriend do? Complained. Oops, he ate a slice at the party then he complained.
Soft YTAH for not thinking of your whole family.
NTA, but your boyfriend could use a course in basic courtesy. Your parents watched your daughter and at the very least he should be ok with them having a slice of cake. Is he generally selfish? My husband would give the shirt off his back so my family can stay warm, let alone be upset if I didn’t share cake, of all things, with them when they didn’t get any in the first place.
“make him his own cake”?? Give him a box mix and tell him to DIY and quit whining when wife makes cakes on the regular and he already had some of this cake earlier Good lord nta
YTA. Dick move, and you knew it when you did it. Stop acting surprised, and start telling your parents no.
NTA, if he wanted you to save him a slice, he should have asked.
It literally doesn’t matter, there will be many more cakes. No one is the AH
100% nta. You were being considerate by sharing the cake with people you love. Your boyfriend can eat hairpie tonight!
NTA. A) you’re not a mind reader B) giving the cake to the people who watched your kid for two days was the right move.
ESH. If his parents gave you four slices of cake it’s reasonable for your BF to assume that at least one of them was for him and you should have thought of him too. On the other hand he needs to get over it, especially since you bake cakes for him all the time.