I am 19F. I got a dress from a friend as a birthday gift , it is a sexy long bodycon dress with a huge cleavage window. I always wanted a sexy bodycon dress and my mom never let me get one of those. I told my friend and he bought me a dress whatever I picked at the store and it was really expensive as well. My cousin recently got married and they were supposed to move nearby to a rented place as they delayed moving in, the landlord gave the flat to someone else and now they are staying with us for some time till they find an another flat to stay in. She didn’t have a night dress and my mom without my permission just let her choose whatever she wanted from my wardrobe to wear to sleep. She chose that bodycon dress it is flowy below the waist and is overall a really really comfortable material. She ruined the dress completely by sleeping in it. It was my favourite dress. It was not just the dress though, later when I asked for my expensive makeup back I realised mom has let her use it , and idk how she has destroyed it, she has completely changed the shape of the product inside and the makeup has slipped out and all the outer packaging has makeup on it, it looks disgusting to touch. My mom said she let her use it, she’ll pay for the stuff but when I told her the price she was baffled she tried to return it , I said it is ruined and I can never use it again. So she only gave me 30% of the total and said sorry. I told her no, I want the full price , don’t want the half ass apology. She got angry at me and stopped listening to me and ignored me while I talked. I pushed her multiple time, asking for it again and again and she got angry at me saying she has already said sorry so I shouldn’t push for it anymore.
AITA for asking for the full money of what she gave away to the new bride without my permission. Is sorry enough? I don’t earn that much, I sometimes do freenlance but I don’t have enough time to earn enough , I have no way of buying those things back rn, I’ll have to save for months to be able to buy all that back. The dress can’t be bought as it was gifted and meant a lot to me because of the person who gifted me.
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I am 19F. I got a dress from a friend as a birthday gift , it is a sexy long bodycon dress with a huge cleavage window. I always wanted a sexy bodycon dress and my mom never let me get one of those. I told my friend and he bought me a dress whatever I picked at the store and it was really expensive as well. My cousin recently got married and they were supposed to move nearby to a rented place as they delayed moving in, the landlord gave the flat to someone else and now they are staying with us for some time till they find an another flat to stay in. She didn’t have a night dress and my mom without my permission just let her choose whatever she wanted from my wardrobe to wear to sleep. She ruined the dress completely. It was my favourite dress. Not just the dress, later when I asked for my expensive makeup I realised mom has let her use it , and she idk how she has used it but she has completely changed the shape and the makeup has slipped out and all the outer packaging has makeup on it, it looks disgusting to touch. My mom said she let her use it, she’ll pay for the stuff but when I told her the price she was baffled she tried to return it , I said it is ruined and I can never use it again. So she only gave me 30% of the total and said sorry. I told her no, I want the full price , don’t want the half ass apology. She got angry at me and stopped listening to me and ignored me while I talked. I pushed her multiple time, asking for it again and again and she got angry at me saying she has already said sorry so I shouldn’t push for it anymore.
AITA for asking for the full money of what she gave away to the new bride without my permission. Is sorry enough? I don’t earn that much, I sometimes do freenlance but I don’t have enough time to earn enough , I have no way of buying those things back rn, I’ll have to save for months to be able to buy all that back. The dress can’t be bought as it was gifted and meant a lot to me because of the person who gifted me.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I screamed at my mom for all the money those items were worth (2) she technically said sorry but I refused to accept the 30% and demanded for the full
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Your mom is trying to look like a big shot and impress your relatives at your expense.
Nta
NTA. “Sorry” doesn’t solve the problem unless she also solves the problem — not just 30% of it.
Absolutely NTA. That was your dress, your makeup, and your property. Your mom had no right to offer your things to someone else without asking you first. Parents sometimes cross boundaries
You are NTA your mom is
NTA. Time to lock everything up. Your closet, your room, everything.
NTA, if you break it you bought it
NTA. Happened to me, my mum gave away a sports bag of mine (Nike bought with my first wage) for a relative to use as luggage. When I told her the price I got “well I can’t afford to replace it”.
So annoying people giving your stuff away.
my mum would complain about being forced to give away her things as a child and then give my things away.
Your mother has serious issues and no boundaries. As soon as possible get out of there. Your mother behaves like a teenager
NTA. Your mother wants to be the hero here? Tell your cousin that your mother let her use YOUR dress (which was a gift to you) and YOUR makeup without even asking you. She needs to get in touch with your mother and get this straightened out. Tell her you realize that she is not at fault but youy have no way of buying those things back
why would your cousin sleep in your dress- does she not know what is appropriate to sleep in and to use someone else makeup with out asking – get the dress back maybe you can take it to the cleaners and it will get its shape back -NTA tell your mom to stay out of your things- you are 19 years old and get a lock on your door.
No. Your Mom is. You are not a child anymore and she has no control over your things. Plus the other person had no respect for your property. Another ahole.
NT
Demand pull payment for a replacement dress – and tell them: IF you don’T get that, there will be a police report for theft.
And now report the cousin to the police for theft
NTA don’t let up keep asking for the total amount back. Do it in front of cousin and cousin’s new husband. Do it in front of other family members.
You are not the AH. Your Mom, however had no right to your things she is an ah. The cousin sounds dumb as rocks and yes you are entitled to full reimbursement for the ruined dress and ruined make-up.
NTA, they took advantage thinking that you would accept what they did. You didn’t and you want to be compensated for both the things that their decision damaged. You can get a police report and take them to small claims court to get your money back.
You’re an adult woman, and your mom had no more right to give your cousin things than I do. Therefore, your dress and makeup were stolen. (Using someone else’s makeup is unsanitary and can result in infections). Your mom and cousin owe you for both. Even the dress.
Now, why didn’t your cousin have something to sleep in? Why doesn’t she have make up? Were they homeless in a nudist colony?? That aspect of your story isn’t making sense.
Oh your mom knew exactly what she was doing. She needs to be the one to pay not your cousin. She can either rebuy the dress or pay another way…cutting her off isn’t a bad idea. She clearly doesn’t value you as a person with feelings. She really thought you wouldn’t nice or care ? She’s going to manipulate you your whole life if you don’t stand up for yourself against her…
NTA.
OP, NTA but both your mom AND cousin are! There is no way your cousin didn’t know the dress had value AND that she wore it to bed for her husband!
NTA. Mom is for the stunt with the dress and the new bride is for screwing up expensive makeup
You are NOT an asshole. I am happy for you standing up for yourself and knowing you have value.
NTA. Now go find one of your mom’s favorite pieces of jewelry and give it to one of your friends. Look her straight in her eyes and say now we’re even. Fuck parents who treat their kids like this.