Masturbating excuses

r/

When most people masturbate they don’t really want any if their family members to know, when I masturbate i lock the door to my room and when i find i take a shower, but here’s the problem, doing all that takes at least a hour and a half, so if someone asks i cant say Ive been showering for the past hour and a half, so what excuse do you make and what do you recommend?

Guys i dont mean that i masturbate in the shower, the shower is just the main excuse

Let me make myself clear
1. No it doesn’t take me 1.5 hours to cum it just takes me that long because i like to edge
2. I am not wasting water, while im masturbating the water is off,
3. THE BATHROOM IS IN MY ROOM SO THEY DONT KNOW WHEN I GOT IN

Comments

  1. eugene6611 Avatar

    Say you had to use the bathroom too. Kinda try to combine the two, first ten mins in the bathroom then the rest in the shower.

  2. OkBag3711 Avatar

    Nah, man. Everyone knows what’s happening. Don’t even kid yourself.

  3. punkslaot Avatar

    1.5 hrs datum! You give yourself the deluxe treatment. Maybe shown it up a bit

  4. SunshineSound25 Avatar

    Save water, please for the love of god. Just do it in your room at times you won’t be disturbed like home alone or at night.

  5. No-Quarter-7657 Avatar

    little more lotion or soap and your done faster move on

  6. Hungry_Disaster8024 Avatar

    Do it at night under the sheets

  7. DannyWarlegs Avatar

    We all know what you’re doing with that shower head, and it’s not washing your back

  8. changelingcd Avatar

    Practice for efficiency. Your family will go broke trying to pay the water bill. 15 minutes max in the shower, take your time in your own bed at night.

  9. tehemari Avatar

    I’m sorry ik this is completely off topic but it just made me remember a horrific thing, I would masturbate mostly in the shower when I was younger bc I used a vibe and didn’t want anyone to hear it…. well my mom comes in unexpectedly bc she needs to pee so I turn it off as fast as I can and I hoped and assumed she hadn’t heard it. A few hours later when I was just watching a show she comes in and just says, “you were playing with yourself weren’t you!” and i’m just like “umm what do you mean” so she laughs and leaves. Every time I’m reminded of that moment I am horrified and I’m sorry but I just felt the need to share that. Anyways, don’t make excuses, they already know…

  10. JlTlS Avatar

    There should be a masturbation room.

  11. gregoryy12345 Avatar

    Do it in your room with the door closed, like literally everyone else. Also ‘showering’ for an hour and a half is just wasting water

  12. Bat-bat10 Avatar

    When the water bill comes out u might get a whoppin! Shit is expensive now days try to find some other way doing it

  13. Visual_Acanthaceae32 Avatar

    Nice story 😅😅😅
    It takes 1,5 hours? How you want to ever cum with a woman then?
    And how it comes you can not lock your room…. Or just get off under your sheet….

  14. lydocia Avatar

    Why do you need an excuse?

  15. BadBag7891 Avatar

    never post again

  16. jacktheripper1307 Avatar

    just say you gotta take a mean shit idk

  17. MarkNutt-TheArcher Avatar

    Who likes to make themselves edge for an hour and a half?!

  18. SirBrews Avatar

    Room, door closed, tissue paper to nut in don’t just spray it everywhere.

    Now that I

  19. Altiverses Avatar

    To be fair – as a kid I’ve had 1 hour long showers every day, and no I wasn’t masturbating there at all (never liked it, water makes my doodledoo insensitive).

    Just spacing off for a good while under hot waters made my mental health that much better, although in hindsight my family 100% thought I was a serial masturbator ¯(ツ)/¯

    So you could use that as an excuse.. or not

  20. sudo_pi5 Avatar

    “I was taking a shower” is only believable if the shower is running. Just an FYI for you.

  21. Technical_Room_5164 Avatar

    Sorry to tell you this but if you’re in there for 1.5 hours they likely already know.

  22. PotRoastBoss Avatar

    Dang! 1.5 hrs, assuming daily that’s 547.5 hrs / yr or 22.8 days of self care