My brother-in-law is trying to divorce my sister, she won’t look into it but I’m worried for her.

Location: Arizona

My sister has been married to my brother-in-law for around 12 years or so? I’m honestly really concerned for her, my brother-in-law is trying to divorce her and she won’t do anything about it.

About a month or two ago my brother-in-law told my sister he wanted to get a divorce. The problem is, without him my sister can’t really financially support herself and their kids. My nieces are 15 and 8, and they have no idea what’s going on. I really just need some potential advice on what my sister should do that I can tell her because she won’t do anything about it herself.

She refuses to talk to a lawyer (she just doesn’t want to admit that it’s actually happening and wants to avoid the issue) and she won’t take any action because she says she’s going to make him do all the work if he actually wants a divorce. However, the reason I’m worried is his actions. I have no idea if he’s cheating (I don’t think he would but you never know and he’s been “hanging with friends” a lot) but he’s doing some shady things. He refinanced the house and got my sister to sign papers to take her name off the house a couple months ago, I don’t really know why she did but I wouldn’t put it past her to do something she doesn’t know the full extent of. Especially if he’s asking her to do it. I don’t know the entire extent of everything because this is all what my sister has been telling me. She found 7k in cash hidden in his backpack and he said that he “cashes out his paychecks before he pays the bills” but you don’t pay the bills with cash? She also mentioned to me something about 20k in a bank account she doesn’t know about from refinancing the house, but I could have the details messed up. My parents recently gave them a good chunk of money to have their floors replaced and fix up their house, which gives my parents the speculation that he’s trying to fix up the house to sell it even though he told her he’d let her keep the house. She wouldn’t be able to keep the house by herself with her own paychecks. They also never had joint bank accounts and kept them separate the entire time they’ve been together.

She honestly really doesn’t know how much money he has. He used to be really stingy with his money but my sister couldn’t afford to buy everything for their kids and pay their mortgage and the share of the bills she paid with her paycheck, so he started paying for the kids’ stuff.

Additionally, he recently just lost his mom and she’s been so supportive for him which breaks my heart because now he’s screwing her over.

My sister literally won’t accept it, she sends him messages letting him know she loves him and she’ll be there for him and she knows he’s grieving. She considers him the love of her life and just can’t let him go. I seriously need some legal advice on what to tell her and what to potentially do, because she won’t look into it herself.