Background: My boyfriend (27M) and I (21F) have been together for 3 years, we recently broke up, and got back together. Things have been slightly rocky as of late. We don’t see each other as often anymore because we’ve both been busy.
So yesterday, my boyfriend and I were texting each other, and he brought up a feeling that bothered him, and he told me he felt that I don’t have the love that I used to have for him before, and that he feels that I’m not as submissive as well, “not in a bad way” (in his own words). Now, the first part of his message, I felt I could understand as we had just gotten back together, and I felt I didn’t know where we were, and that it would take a while for things to be normal again. However, the second part gave me the ick because of the way it came across. I asked him to elaborate, and he just said, “It was a feeling, not a permanent thought”. When we first got together, I was a lot more submissive and obedient to him because I was young and wanted to appeal to him and his needs, but now, I’m at that age where I’m finding out who I am and trying to have more of a backbone when it comes to myself.
Since then, we’ve been talking, but I’ve been giving him less of a conversation because now I’m starting to wonder if getting back together was a good idea at all. If you guys could provide me with some advice, I’d greatly appreciate it, and as always, thank you for reading, and I hope you’re having a better day than I’m having. 🙂
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Woahhhhhhhh the age gap and that comment. You need to leave this guy.
Oh, gross gross gross. You need to leave him immediately. Wanting a woman to be “submissive” is like saying a woman’s role is in the kitchen. Get out. You showing confidence and self worth should never be an issue with someone who actually loves you.
he said the quiet part out-loud. you being submissive was what he liked about you and the fact that you were so young. now you resemble an adult woman with independence and he doesn’t like that. leave him
When someone thinks that you’re inferior than them in any fashion of form, it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship and it could lead to many more ones. I’d encourage you to think this through again even if you already did. And I’m glad that you’re now a stronger person who stays grounded in what she believes in.
Uhhhh your “bf” is a professional groomer. He even confessed that to you. I’m a dude who’s 27 and I would’ve never even considered anyone under 25 in my dating pool. Men like these get naive girls like you because they’re easier to manipulate and control. Get out while you can and enjoy the rest of your 20s, let go of this bum he’s holding you back
He sounds and acts like a predator. Dump him and go live your best life. The world is your oyster and you don’t need to submit to anyone, especially someone who loves and cares for you