I (20F) have been with my partner (20M) for almost 2 years. I’ve never had sex in which someone has ‘done the deed’ in me without a condom. However, I recently started taking birth control and it’s gotten me thinking about the idea of having something like that done to me.
The thing is, I’m scared. I want to experience it but I’m just afraid that by some ‘Murphys Law’ situation, it’ll all go wrong and I’ll end up pregnant. Neither me or my partner are at an age/stage to be ready for childcare, and my parents are crazy religious. So the concept that it could happen is terrifying to me.
Part of me thinks I’m overreacting but it’s literally my first time. My partner would definitely not want to do it if I wasn’t comfortable, but it’s something I want to try. We have talked about it before and he’d be onboard so long as I gave the green card. And I want to. Yet, I’m afraid. Maybe I’ll just have to wait until we’re in our 30s until it’s okay, so if anything does happen despite the birth control, we’ll be more ready. But at the same time, 10 years feels like such a long time.
How can I get through this fear? Is there a way to know for sure that everything will be okay?
EDIT: I apologise, I might have worded things incorrectly. It’s not so much the raw aspect as is it the ‘going’ without a condom whilst on birth control. I’ve done it raw before but always pulled out and we used protection after to finish. I’ve never had someone finish in me and I’ve wondered about the sensation, but it’d be my first time and the thought of the pill failing scares me.
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Birth control is good but none of them are 100% effective so I get it. Plan B does exist so you can always take it after . You can track your period to find the best time to do it ie when you’re not ovulating. I’ve done it raw plenty of times and yes I do consider myself lucky bcuz I haven’t gotten pregnant yet but at this point I think I might just be infertile. It really isn’t such a huge difference though tbh. You guys can also use the thin condoms if you want as close to that experience as you can get.
Realistically no form of birth control is 100% effective whether it’s a condom or another type. So the fear you’re talking about is understandable but not necessarily realistic given condoms are more likely to fail than BC. Question is, if you did happen to get pregnant by accident what are your plans for what would happen next?
Your fear is valid and even with perfect use (taking the right dose for your weight at the exact same time every day) there is always the risk of pregnancy, that risk goes down when using additional methods (condoms, pull out, cycle tracking etc).
Your safest time is the day before your period starts imo, but assess the risk for yourself and make your choice accordingly.
You have a 99.999% chance of it working pull out method you have a 97% chance or 96 depending on how good they are. Condoms are 98% chance. So your odds are pretty good just go ahead rip the Band-Aid off. And enjoy yourself. If it would’ve happened, it would’ve happened by now with a broken condom or a bad pull out.
I feared this too, I started tracking my ovulation and went along the lines with that, also having them pull out before they finish will help with not getting pregnant. I eventually was so good at tracking my ovulation that I got off birth control and didn’t use condoms either, just used the pull out method, I didn’t end up pregnant till I wanted to become pregnant.
If you are taking the pill form of birth control, make sure you take the pill how it’s prescribed. I get the birth control shot, every 3 months and I’ve never gotten pregnant. I’ve had the shot for years.
im not gonna lie i am not on birth control at all and my bf doesn’t wear condoms. i would NOT RECOMMEND THIS EVER but i have been lucky to have never gotten pregnant from this method, so i truly think if you’re on birth control, don’t have sex while you’re ovulating AND take a plan b as an extra precaution, you’ll be totally fine. there’s always a risk even with condoms 🙂
Not all fear are to be overcomed. Condoms protect us from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. I am taking the pill and still using condoms, I’m not planning to change.
If you wanna try once just make sure not to forget the pill one week before and after and you will be safe. Also remember that if you are sick or take certain medications such as antibiotics the effect of the pill may decrease. You can make him come outside to feel safer.
Do not be dumb. You’re not in a stable place probably to have a child. And for you, it doesn’t make a difference either way you’re not gonna feel any differently. There will be absolutely not a single different sensation for you. There’s no reason to not use a condom. You very well could get pregnant even with birth control and even pulling out.
The pill/patch/ring/IUD are literally 99% effective. If you really feel nervous about it, you should track your cycle and see when you ovulate. There is basically only a week span where you can get pregnant (the week when you ovulate). So, if you have sex right before or right after your period (or during!) that is the safest time to get your boston cream pie.
If you’re not that into it, it’s fine! You don’t need to let him nut in you. Don’t do it just for curiosity sake if it makes you this nervous.
Greetings, I am The Bread Man.
Now, I would first like to say even though I am The Bread Man, I am a man, and I don’t want to speak on behalf of a woman’s body and what she should do with it.
What I would like to ask though, is the risk worth the reward? I know with sex, curiosity can fuel most desire, but sometimes we need to take a step back and ask ourselves if what we want is what is good for us. Your communication with your partner seems very good, and your partner also seems very understanding about your anxieties about this situation. This is great news. I would suggest doing some research on your own to see if what you want to experience is good for you in this era in your life. You’re young, but intelligent. I know you’ll be okay.
I send my blessings of plentiful home baked naans. Perfect for dipping and excellent for wraps.
The Bread Man has spoken.
You will be fine you probably will like it and they do also have morning after pills and other things like spermicide can use but it is very rare to get pregnant on birth control it is like 99% effective.
You could add another contraceptive method along with the birth control pill. Options like sponge and diaphragm and spermicide foam and gell are out there.
There are means outside of a condom and the pill to add extra security, there is a cap that goes in you to prevent it from entering your womb, but regardless if you really want to do it, I’d say do it once. But you should get off the pill, it fucks shit up in women’s bodies, you should do some of your own research rather than take my word for it but it messes with your body’s hormones and can cause serious health issues down the line.
This is how I had my child at 22.
Maybe don’t get over your fear, it’s not some amazing sensation to have someone splooge inside you, a lot of the time people can’t even feel it, so I’m not sure the reward is worth the risk.
(I’m a happy mom, but it was definitely a surprise that changed the entire trajectory of my life)
Gonna be real with you, the experience is not worth the risk. Most of the time you can’t even feel it. If you know that you wouldn’t get an abortion, but do not wanna have a child, don’t increase your risk over this.
Is there a reason you want to? This isn’t something you have to do. Even on birth control, I’ve always stuck to condoms or at least pulling out. Just too risky otherwise, the pill isn’t perfect.
As a dude, I gotta say, its a completely different scenario, experience etc without a condom. Especially being able to let loose inside…
I dont mean to be frank, but thats really why guys like girls that swallow. We usually are pulling out for safety. We’ll, most of us should be.
Its a completely different orgasm, at least to me. A majority has to do with the emotional.connection of it in itself. The second part… imagine everytime.youre about to orgasm, you have to stop. You have to be conscience of the timing, and then… its just out there, no stimulation during the build up to actual release. I guess if youre really into porn finishing elsewhere is a turn on, and it really can be depending on the situation/what kind of sex your having. Is it slow and sweet, just enjoying g each other’s bodies or are ya fuckin’… it makes a big difference.
Word of advice, dont rely on one contraceptive method, until you really are ready to accept their might be a child from this one act/moment. Condoms break, condoms can have holes that slipped past QC at the factory. They can slip off after it gets just a tad softer etc.
The morning after pill as a back up is wise to have on hand as well. Im a dude and I have one handy just in case. Ive been a few cocktails deep and we raw dogged when we shouldn’t of… and easy decision at the time… shit no condom… well, it’ll be ok just this once, ill pull out etc etc etc. Literally millions of babies are made that way.
Have the experience of “natural sex” when you’re ready for the experience of having a child
Just keep using condoms and the pill. You don’t need the risk. Too bad if he doesn’t like it. A good and loving man will not ever have a problem with using condoms.