Hey Reddit, im a young female expat in my early 20s working at an office. One of my female colleagues, whos about two years older than me, has been hitting on me. She’s told me before she’s gay, but Im fully straight and have told her multiple times that I’m not interested.
We both have short haircuts and are considered pretty good looking, so maybe thats why she’s being persistent? Im not sure.
I have sent a mail to hr about it after gettimg some supportive comments from another sub. But now i feel like, this will effect both our jobs. And i don’t know what to do now.
So, AITAH for being straightforward and telling hr?
Thanks for your thoughts.
Edit: Also… she knows Im single, knows where I live, and probably what I had for breakfast. The fake bf ship has sunk. She said ‘he doesn’t have to know’ 😭🤷🏻♀️
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Hey Reddit, im a young female expat in my early 20s working at an office. One of my female colleagues, whos about two years older than me, has been hitting on me. She’s told me before she’s gay, but Im fully straight and have told her multiple times that I’m not interested.
We both have short haircuts and are considered pretty good looking, so maybe thats why she’s being persistent? Im not sure.
I have sent a mail to hr about it after gettimg some supportive comments from another sub. But now i feel like, this will effect both our jobs. And i don’t know what to do now.
So, AITAH for being straightforward and telling hr?
Thanks for your thoughts.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 2) This will most probably terminate her from the job or atleast a transfer. So that might make me an asshole infront of everybody
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. HR loves mysteries. This one they’ll enjoy solving
You did the right thing by reporting it; boundaries matter, regardless of gender.
You are definitely NTA for telling her you’re straight. You did the right thing by going to HR. I hope they taken your complaint seriously
NTA. “No” is a complete sentence, and HR’s entire job is dealing with people who don’t understand that. You did the right thing.
NTA, she is completely inappropriate.
INFO: I think it would have mattered to specify what country you live in. If you’re in the US going to HR is likely going to backfire on you. Elsewhere, maybe in Europe – you could have a range of outcomes, it’s unlikely to backfire and the worst that can happen is that no action is taken. You’re NTA for reporting but if you are in the US you might be TA to yourself I’m sorry to say!
NTA for reporting her to HR. But everyone needs to stop using the term “ex-pat”. You’re an immigrant
NTA. Hope HR actually helps.
NTA, the fact that you’re not interested in girls is actually irrelevant; you’re not interested in her, you were clear about that, she has continued to pursue you. It is properly a matter for HR,
NTA. She’s harrassing you.
NTA – Harassment by female or male is still wrong
Do you like the male form? IF so, let this annoying female know that another woman will NEVER satisfy your needs & wants.
NTA, you have limits – and they were crossed. You told her no (in several ways) and she did not stop.
Male/ female/gmail it’s all the same, a workplace is not tinder (well, except one of them) and you don’t go there to ‘find love’, you go to make a living. You should not be bothered in this regard at your work.
P.s. even if you were contemplating, the ‘he doesn’t need to know’ part would have been enough to send her away.
That’s not ok..she shouldn’t be harassing you
Given the limited information offered NTA
Ugh she sounds like a creep. Good on you for reporting to HR. You have done nothing wrong and she’s aggressively pursuing you.
How does she know so much about your life? You need to create some separation where possible.
NTA.
She should take her U-boats and find another target.
She hasn’t. She’s persisted, to the point of knowing she’s waaaay over the line, and still trying. Someone needs to tell her off, and that should be management/HR. Of course she’s going to deny it, gas light blah blah, so get ahead of that, if you have a witness ask them to come forward to back you up.
Gross. I hate when people say “He doesn’t need to know” that means they KNOW and don’t care. Gross.
Nods, it happens.
HR, but I wouldn’t hold your hopes but worth a try
nta once some on says their not intrested you back off she is sexually harassing you and you have the right not to put up with it if its making you uncomfortable.