I’m shattered, this was something unimaginable for me. Something so destructive, we dated and planned to marry since the beginning, he never gave me a smidge of doubt. I trusted him completely, and the only thing I ask in return from him was just loyalty. He lied and he constantly chose to cheat on me. She turned out to be a creep but it was too late by the time my boyfriend realised it. All his friends and family saw my worth and told him to leave her, but yet he didn’t. Later once her true nature came in he realised what I was and wanted me back. It’s been 3 days and I’ve been so strong so forgiving so thoughtful. But I just never wanted our relationship turn into this ultimate form of betrayal. His father was always against us and that was a very important part to us. Now he has come to me asking to forgive his son and give him another chance. I know he’s truly sorry, but did it have to come this far for him to realise this? And my dream with us was to always build a beautiful family together and his father accepting me someday. And now I’m given the option for all that I’d once dreamt off. But I never wanted it this way. He is really sorry and I can see that, I feel for him I do and I wanna get all my power to just forgive him this one time. But that feeling in my gut which I always had which did come true, I have it again and intensely. He says he would never do this to me again. But I highly doubt that. Please tell me please if there was anyone out there who forgave a betrayal this deep and the relationship did turn out to be good. And for those who are judging me, this 6 years of relationship was not just a small part of my life. We were like married couples, with two dogs, and a house we built into home together. He does genuinely love me but he did love her as well for a time being. And all our families know and the world knows and I’m so so dearly close to his family. They are my own.
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> we dated and planned to marry since the beginning
And yet 6 years in, you don’t even have a “shut up” ring.
This person has been deceiving you from the beginning. Look at what they do and not what they say.
You are doing a lot of blaming her. Y’all gotta staying with the guys you meet in high school.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Trust once broken is hard to repair and may never fully recover. Rebuilding trust is his burden to bear. You may want to check out r/asoneafterinfidelity and http://www.survivinginfidelity.com for resources. It sounds like you want to pursue reconciliation. Best wishes moving forward, it’s a tough road.
Thank you for your advice and helpful insight. I’ll try my best
So if she was not an A hole, he wouldn’t want you back right?! Girl have some self respect. You yourself say that in spite of his family telling him she’s not good he went ahead with her. And you still believe he’s a good person?! He wouldn’t t have waited six years to propose if he truly wanted you in his life. He used you all this while and now doesn’t want to lose that comfort, bcos he effed a pos. If he finds another one he will go with her leaving you. Get out of this one way relationship and get a good person who really loves you. Stay strong
this is written really weirdly. hope it’s a real story.
anyways – nope – leave him. You started this relationship when you were young, so of course it feels like it’s the only relationship worth keeping.
But the truth is he betrayed you and lied to you for months, and it likely would have gone for years had the other woman been sane.
You can’t depend on someone who’s capable of that.
You’ll never trust him again. Not for the little things or the big things.
He didn’t “realize” your worth – he just used you when he couldn’t step out on you.
By staying, you’re telling him he can cheat on you without consequence, and you’re telling him you’re too scared to be lonely, and that you don’t respect yourself.
The SUNK COST FALLACY in relationships is the tendency to stay in an unhappy or unfulfilling partnership because of the time, effort, and emotional investment already put into it, even when the relationship is unlikely to improve. This bias can prevent individuals from making rational decisions about their relationship based on its current state and future prospects.
Listen. It wasn’t a 1 time thing. He did it multiple times over a 7 month period. It was a choice. He knew what he was doing. He was the only person in this scenario that owed you loyalty. And him choosing to be disloyal has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s who he is.
I understand that it hurts, but he will do it again if you accept this treatment and take him back. Why wouldn’t he? He knows you’ll take him back.
People are great at behaving sorry, but it didn’t once cross his mind in those 7 months. He’s only sorry because you know. And if his family seriously thinks you should take him back, they are enabling that behavior and condoning it.
If my grown ass sibling cheated on his wife, I’d tell her to leave. No woman deserves that.