I didn’t mean to find the nudes I found. I was checking his email for a receipt I wanted to pay back and I landed on a random email he sent to himself (no subject) that contained 9 nudes from his ex (5+ years ago). He sent this to himself on the 7th of march of this year. We’ve been together for 3 years so that’s really odd imo. He also has a bunch of nudes he shouldn’t have of me saved in his email. Including nudes he sneakily took of me while I was sleeping or not paying attention to him. Now I don’t know if I should put them up on his screen to start a conversation about it when he gets home (I wouldn’t know how else to start it) or if I should quietly delete them and wait until he finds it all gone. There’s 30 photos/gifs of me that I never consented to him having saved in such a way or even consented to him having these at all.
Tldr:
Bf has a bunch of nudes of exes and of me saved on his pc without consent. Do I put them up on his screen for when he gets back from work so we can talk about this or do I quietly delete them and wait until he finds out? Or do you know any other ways to start this conversation?
Comments
Delete your nudes right away. Make sure they’re fully deleted so he cannot recover them.
So what’s the conversation? I hope it’s a breakup, because you cannot trust a man who would take secret photos of you while you were asleep. That’s so absolutely not ok.
Those probably aren’t the only copies – you need to delete them from the cloud, usbs, etc
Are you or the other party underage in this material?
I’m assuming you will be breaking up over his repeated violations of you. You need to put your safety first – do you have any big burly friends to be present and help you move somewhere safe?
>There’s 30 photos/gifs of me that I never consented to him having saved in such a way or even consented to him having these at all.
“I found the nude photos you took of me without my consent. Start packing, you’re moving out today.”
That’s how you confront him. There is no point in having a conversation about it, there is literally nothing he could say that could excuse this kind of disgusting violation.
Make sure you quietly delete everything. The emails, any copies on the hard drive, try to get into his phone and delete that and any cloud copies.
Then just ghost him. Don’t talk to him or explain anything, don’t even give him the dignity of a breakup. Fuck him. Looking at nude pix of an ex is cheating on you. It’s a huge breach of privacy to take nude pix without your consent.
If you share a lease it’s harder, but quietly line up a new place for yourself and then just move out when he’s not there. Don’t stress paying him back for the lease, better yet stick him with it lol.