Tldr : panicked because of crowd and now hiding all alone planning a breakup
Hello, This weekend, I [28F] was invited to the first birthday party of my boyfriend’s[29M] niece. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. It was a two-day thing. The first day went okay — we spent time with his sister and her partner (both 29), we chatted, it was actually nice. The next morning I tried to help with the preparations for the party. I was doing my best.
But then the guests arrived. Around 27 people all at once. As soon as they started coming in, I completely panicked. My anxiety just exploded. I went back upstairs and hid in the room where I’m hiding for the past hour, just counting down the time until I can leave and go home. For context, it’s in another city and I’m stuck in nowhere.
I feel like I completely failed. Like I’m not cut out for relationships if they involve family events or big social gatherings. I’m even thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend — not because I don’t care about him, but because I don’t know how I could ever manage this kind of thing long term.
What should I do?
Comments
taking time for yourself is super important. Embracing who you are can lead to some amazing self-discovery! 🌟
I know this gets bandied about a lot, but you sound like you would benefit from therapy.
Talk to your boyfriend before jumping straight to breaking up. Does he mind if you don’t go to big family events? Maybe he’s fine with you sticking to the smaller more intimate ones and he can go to the big ones by himself.
Talk to your boyfriend about it. The right man for you will want to understand what’s going on and will support you and find a way of living that doesn’t aggravate your anxiety. But he can’t do that if he doesn’t know. Relationships are about the two people in them. Sure, there are often social events or whatever, but that’s all optional – if the two of you work well together on your own, don’t throw that away. Just be honest with him and see what he says.
Nah don’t give up on love just cuz of this. Anxiety can mess u up but it’s not who u are. Talk to ur bf, let him know how u feel instead of running from it.
nah dude don’t break up with him just cuz your brain hit the eject button at a party. social anxiety sucks but it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or doomed to be alone. talk to him, be real about how you felt. if he’s a decent guy (and 2 years in, I hope he is), he’ll get it. relationships aren’t just for extroverts.