Hello, please pardon any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.
So for some context, my sister and I are living with our parents (because it’s more convenient and who can afford a house in this economy?) we’re both from Asian culture, if that affects the matter. My sister works a 9-5 job and usually has a busy schedule, while I work from home with a much for relaxed schedule. Admittedly, workload-wise, hers is a lot heavier than mine. She earns more than I do. I’m a bit of a homebody, and she goes out a lot.
Now onto the problem, I’ve been feeling very irritated and uncomfortable about her asking me to do little things for her. Here are some of the cases:
– Whenever we’re hanging out, when it comes to things like getting directions and or making reservations, instead of doing it herself, her first instinct is always to turn to me and ask me to do it.
– When she craves something, once again, her first response is to ask me to make it (both of us can cook). I’ve outwardly told her that she should make it herself, and her response it that I should do it since I am at home and she’s always working/busy. It has gotten to the point were she’d buy the ingredients (after telling me she’d make it herself), waited a week or so and then asked me to cook for her using said ingredients.
– We’d both be having dinner or working in the house office and she’d ask me to get a glass of water or grab something for her.
– Whenever we finished a meal, she’d just get up and leave, expecting me to clean up the dishes. Even after I called her out to come help clear the dishes, she’d just leave.
– In conversation, she’d start advising people on what to do and then push the actual action onto me instead. (like: oh, you should try doing X, OP can take you to it). And this is frustrating to me, because literally if she wants to advise people on something, she should be the one to follow up on it, how does it become MY responsibility instead?
Like the title said, these are technically ‘little things’, but for whatever reason every time anything comes up at all that isn’t a major thing but just little inconveniences, her first response is always to ask me to take care of it, and it’s driving me crazy.
Now I know I can be pretty independent/isolated/selfish, however you want to label it. Im not usually the type to ask for help and whatever I can do myself I’d do it myself. But I understand sometimes it’s better to ask for help. And maybe to others, these things aren’t that big of a deal? I’m unsure. I’ve read up a bit on the orange theory too, how if people don’t want to help you do the small things, then they won’t help you on the bigger things and it got me a little shaken. I just want to say that’s not true, that she’s my sister at the end of the day and if she ever needs my help or favor, I won’t hesitate to help. But these are the things she’s WELL capable of doing and to always turn to ME to take care of the tasks instead really drive me crazy.
So I’m asking for advice, am I too sensitive? Should I suck it up and adjust my expectations since these things are pretty normal? (and how) Is this worth having a big confrontation over? Maybe it’s a natural thing because I’m always at home anyway? How do I address this?
TLDR: My sister always asks me to do menial tasks for her (navigation, restaurant rsvp, cooking, fetching something from the kitchen), and I’m unsure if this is a normal expectation or if this is problematic.