I was invited to a friend’s cabin. Which was lovely of them. The first day was great, but the 2nd day another guest arrived. This guy talked incessantly. I had a horror-vision of being this guy’s SO. (Especially when women had less rights or couldn’t get away.)
He didn’t seem like a bad person, but the unconscious entitlement of using other people as garbage receptacles for his talking. And the mental load of being a talk garbage receptacle.
This is a mental load I do not often hear about.
I was constantly wandering off for hikes and swims. I lasted a day and a half and finally made up an excuse to leave days early (sick pet.)
Comments
Unfortunately, this isn’t a gendered thing, but an inconsiderate person thing
Why didn’t your friends say anything? I have a friend who talks incessantly when she gets high and I usually tell her to chill out.
Ah, I see you’ve met my coworker!
It’s incredible the way we are gaslit into thinking women are the chatty gender when most men I know won’t shut the fuck up.
I have a friend who talks nonstop. He’s a great dude/friend, but it’s fucking exhausting spending extended periods of time with him. I don’t know how his wife manages to do it. She’s a saint.
Agree with another commenter, my experience is that it happens with all genders. Sometimes people get lonely and don’t always have an outlet with someone to listen. Lonely folks can be unsure of social cues as well and it’s okay to gently interject and steer the conversation in a different direction.
My mom was a director of nursing in nursing homes and I would quickly become an ear to some of the residents who just wanted someone to listen to something they saw, something they heard, something they accomplished.
Having someone monologue at you like that is so exhausting. I literally had a date last week where the man did this for over 2 hours then was sad that I was trying to go home lol
My father in law is like this and when we are around I always end up having to listen to him blather on.
I worked with someone like this, but he talked to anyone who would listen, not just women. One day I told him we weren’t friends and we would never be friends. That made him stop talking to me. Glorious silence ensued!
A certified yapper.
My Nana’s husband is a very sweet guy but has always been like this. Back when Nana was alive she used to just sometimes say “Paul, shut up” when she’d had enough. Now that she’s gone the rest of us struggle with him a bit, and always have to keep visits very short cuz a lovely person but he’s just a lot
I dont mind yappers if they give me a break occasionally and let me talk back
Oh shit. Talk garbage receptacle landed it hard.
My spouse and my child both do this and I try to redirect them to each other as much as possible.
As a prolific talker myself, I know I get very chatty when I’m nervous or uncomfortable. I feel for all parties involved.
I love my mom but she requires so much talk receptacle and it is the singular most exhausting thing for me for some reason. it wears me tf out
I encountered one of those many years ago. My first husband’s dad was like that. He would not only speak his own thoughts in long-winded detail to whoever was in the room but very often would also read to you (whoever was near him) in detail, from catalogs he was interested in. And wouldn’t stop. He’d read pages and pages if you let him. I started to observe how the family dealt with it. They’d literally walk out of the room with him still talking. Sometimes he’d follow them, occasionally he’d wander off in his own direction. I also observed my ex getting into this situation over the phone with his dad (dad reading catalogs to him over the phone). He would just put the phone on his shoulder, not listening at all, and every 15 minutes or so pick it up and go “uh huh” then put it back down again. The funniest part is that the dad never seemed to be the least bit bothered by other people treating him like that, and it never stopped him or corrected the behavior. He was absolutely oblivious.
People that live alone tend to be very talkative when around others. He needs a cat or dog.
Honestly this is part of the reason why I love being a Muslim and living in a Muslim country, men leave me the fuck alone. They don’t try and chat me up and when we do have to talk it’s kept short lol
My husband will tell me how he took so long leaving somewhere because “that guy can talk!” No, honey, YOU can talk(too)!
Like, “Wow, that sounds like something you should to a therapist about! You should try it, that’s like their job, and they get paid for it. Instead of following me around during my vacation!”
The worst is when they approach you, a complete stranger, and then when you seem disinterested they pretend to be sad and ask “you don’t want to talk to me?”. No woman has ever done this to me only men. It’s so bizarre.
My grandson does this! He says “he loves to talk”
He just turned 6.
I see you met my ex. He would not stop talking at people. They could be visibly uninterested and he’d keep going. It was some sort of weird power move for him.
My father is like this. “Conversations” with him are just him waiting for you to finish speaking so he can launch his next story or anecdote at you without any acknowledgment that you even said anything at all in the first place. No actual connection or discussion, just stories that last 20+ minutes branching off to topics completely unrelated to whatever was brought up in the first place.
When it’s gone off topic I just take out my phone and start scrolling and tune him out.