So we are in a LDR, me (30F) and my bf (32M) of 1 year and I’m currently staying at his place while he’s out of town for 1.5 days for work. I was watching something on his computer when his WhatsApp popped up, I just scrolled through (without opening messages) cuz I saw he had 80+ unread texts while I’m a person who has 0. While this I found a text to a girl sent by him on a day he was visiting his hometown saying ‘let me know when u leave’. There was no response. I didn’t think anything of it. After sometime I remembered he was meeting some guys at his place (his parents were out of town) for breakfast. So I went through this whole chat. Turns out this girl doesn’t know he’s in a relationship, the last time he went to his hometown he told me he’s being forced to watch a movie by his old friends but he actually went with her. When he’s with me he tells her he’s working but it’s obvious they have video calls every now and then. Then I saw another chat that showed me he met another girl few months back that he hadn’t told me about.
It has been 9 hours since I found this out. I’ve been crying, I haven’t eaten anything. He knows how important he is to me as I’m going through a tough time with my family and friends. That’s the reason I came here to stay with him even though I don’t have any friends here.
Then I went through his hard drive which was connected to see if any photos on these dates but I found his photos with a girl just before he met me. There were photos here at his place. Then of him dropped her at the station. And I think that’s when he started talking to me. It feels like she left and then to pass his time he found me. Then I found another picture with a girl on a day he met me and had told me he was out for work.
He was the one who said cheating is a non- negotiable for him. And I’ve been clear about me meeting guys alone or in a group every time. I’ve never lied to him even though I felt it would be easier to. Because I wanted to give this a fair shot.
I’m feeling heartbroken. I don’t know how to confront him. He gets back in a couple hours.
I packed up all my stuff except a few clothes so if I need to leave then it won’t take time.
Will it be an issue that I went through all this private stuff? Am I overreacting at what I found?
TLDR: snooped and found bf lied about meeting girls alone, never had any issues other than this in 1 year. Should I tell him? What should I tell him?
Comments
You’re going to have to address it eventually. If he is cheating you will have to confront hom.
The truth is that he has lied to you. He has spoken to and met other women when telling you he was with friends. That is a betrayal, pure and simple. The guy is 32. If he wants a grown up relationship then he needs to behave like it. Trust is everything. You need to confront this as soon as possible and go with what your gut is telling you upon hearing his responses.