My 28/F partner 29/NB and I got into a fight over a new potential female friend of his. Context my partner and I have been together for 6 years now and we have a wonderful relationship however we have our own personal issues when it comes to a lot of things. I for instance am insecure and get jealous easily and can often times be overly emotional, I am aware that this is an issue of mine and decided to go to therapy over it amongst other things but none are relevant to this issue. However my issues are still present after being in therapy for only a month although I know what I’m feeling isn’t fair it’s still hard to overcome sometimes.
So here comes the issue amongst our relationship right now, they just recently became friends with another woman that I have never met and do not know and only know what I have been told about her which was always so positive and silly which fueled my anxiety and abandonment issues and caused me to feel horrible so bad that it started to affect my day to day life. I had avoided speaking about it because I knew it was an issue and I didn’t want to stir up anything since i knew I was wrong on my part and I didn’t want them to feel like I was being controlling because I don’t want to be that kind of person. Until two days ago when I finally mentioned to them that I was feeling a little insecure but never said they were not allowed to talk just simply expressing my personal troubles. Once I finally spoke of it a fight immediately started because they felt like I was being controlling and didn’t want them to have friends and then actually accused me of finding someone else myself. Which caught me off guard I knew it wouldn’t be an easy conversation since they are dealing with a lot of their own problems but I never suspected it would lead to this. Since the fight we have barely spoken and I don’t want to pry out a conversation when space is needed.
I feel like I should also mention that my partner has gotten jealous and upset with me for the very same thing but when it was brought to my attention I immediately realized where they were coming from and gave reassurance that I never meant anything of it and immediately changed my behavior towards this individual because I never wanted them to feel that way.
So my big question is, what can I do to remedy something like this? I want to be a good partner and I understand why it could be so upsetting to hear so I just need advice on how I can resolve such an issue.
Tldr: My partner made a new female friend which made me jealous and lead to a fight although they have been in my shoes in a similar situation.