I (25F) spoke to a guy (39M) and now he has his phone turned off for days. Why is he doing that?

So there is this guy who I met like 4 days ago. He came to my job because our companies cooperated from time to time. He visited like once a month or something. He always looked at me, stared at me. Even asked my boss about my relationship status. Sometimes he came up to me for a chat. I knew he was interested, however, I was in a relationship at a time. My partner died one year ago from addiction and I have been single since.

So this guy stopped visiting us, and I randomly just thought about him like 3 weeks ago.
I got his number, and called him to ask about something credit score related since he works in finance industry.
We chatted, he asked about my love life, I told him I’m single since my partner died, he told me he is getting divorced, but spending time with his son (12 years old) and that he will be in my town so we can meet.

It was a light, sweet conversation, obviously there was some sort of attraction on both ends, he seemed kinda shy.

I called him last Monday around 8 PM to ask about his weekend, he called me on Tuesday, we chatted again, about his work, his plans with his son. He told me to go and get a grab a coffee with just the two of us on Sunday(yesterday) since I mentioned I have a birthday. I told him that of course, I want to meet him, I’m open. He told me he wants to see me too.

He told me he has to go because he has a meeting at work. Then he texted me saying that he “got shy” and that he got nervous. I told him it’s ok. He asked me if I’m seeing anyone recently, because he doesn’t want to be inappriopriate. I told him I’m single, that I want to get to know him better.

On the same day, he calls me around 8 PM, he’s outside of some restaurant with the coworkers on the lunch. We talk for 1 hour. He says he is “crazy over me”, that he finds me very attractive, that he was always asking my boss about me, asked for my number. He told me if I’m open to travel with him for 3 days somewhere with my dog?(I have a sweet shihtzu) I say of course I would love that. He then proceeds to tell me “Do we have to wait til Sunday? I have a hotel booked til Thursday,but I can leave earlier.” I told him that we can meet earlier of course. He told me we can meet tommorow (Wednesday), that he will stay in a hotel, we will go to a dinner.

I didn’t mean to sleep with him (and yes, I know that was his first intention…) but the conversation went very smooth and we really had a good vibe with each other. We never had a chance to talk for so long, or get to know each other better, so I thought its a good opportunity. He also stated that he thinks about me, he even told me which jeans I wore when he visited, our which shoes I wore. Also told me I once got into some black car and drove off and that he drove behind me but he couldn’t find me. (I don’t remember that, I didn’t know about that)

This conversation took place on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I texted him to confirm the meeting. The message was marked as green, no iMessage sent. I thought he is in a train and out of signal.
The phone was “out of signal” for the whole day. I think this phone number is his private, from what I know. I was surprised.

Thursday, phone out of signal again.

Friday, out of signal. I call him from different number and he picks up after some time. Tells me he has a “huge accident in his house and that he will call me later, also asks if we can meet’. Doesn’t call me again.

Saturday. He calls me by mistake (on my second number, he didn’t save it) saying that he is “standing under number 20” (I think he meant the door number or apartment number) I say which 20??? what???? and he tells me – Oh my god, I’m sorry.

Hangs up. His phone is out of signal/ out of reach for majority of the days. Sometimes he turns the phone on again so there is a signal but for short period of time.

Sunday. Phone was turned off for the whole day.

I know that none of you knows WHY he’s doing what he’s doing. But he seemed genuinely interested in me. He really seemed honest and shy about conversation and stuff.

Also, I think thats the big factor in understanding the story – he once visited our company (3 years ago) while being …under some sort of substance to say at least. Also I found his tiktok account (no videos) and a lot of accounts about drug recovery are being followed by him.

I don’t know if he’s clean. I know nothing about it. We didn’t talk about it. This might be his past but I just think it’s worth mentioning. He also told me he is attending therapy because he used to have depression due to divorce.

I know y’all will say to stay away from him, but I genuinely don’t know why is he ghosting me like this.
I think the reasons might be:
– he is on a bender and doesn’t know what’s going on
– he knows he is an addict and “doesnt want to hurt me”
– or he is clean from any substances and the reasons is unknown to me still
Also when I told him I asked someone for his number, he told me that he was happy to give his number to this person to give it to me, and even if I didnt call him, he would ask for mine.

I tried to keep this post not emotional, but it affected me so bad I took two days off last week from work and literally spend the whole thursday in my bed. It broke me.

Also he told me he even wants me to meet his son somewhere together.
TLDR; I (25F) spoke to a guy (39M) and now he’s ghosting me. I don’t know why.