I (25,F) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (22,M) for 15 months now. I have made it known to him about how I have an issue with this every time before he leaves for long distance but I don’t get why do we have to face the same problem again and again.
Sometimes when he goes back to his hometown then we have to do long distance for some months. We have been having the same problem ever since the start of the relationship that is communicating properly and updating each other before the day starts. He has been very good with the latter, he tells me if he’s going to the gym or drinking and out with friends and I don’t bother him during these times. We then only get to talk at night which I am okay with. But there are a lot of times when we are on a call and he abruptly hangs up ( genuine reasons like someone just walked into the room, he has to take another call etc) saying he’s gonna call me back instantly but he doesn’t. I keep on waiting for him to call me back and he doesn’t as he got occupied with something else. And I understand that so I just tell him that all I need is a heads up over a quick call or even text, informing me that he’s busy now so he cant call me back, so that i don’t keep on waiting and expecting which he doesn’t. I am also okay with the fact that he forgot to inform me, but at least when I let him know that I didn’t like it he can be a little nice and be sorry to have kept me waiting. But at the end he gets annoyed at me saying I get upset for small stuff like this and nag all the time. He says he wants a break which will give him the energy to listen to me nagging and he’s just gonna become a puppet to me which is something I haven’t even said that I want. What I want are those things I mentioned above. When this keeps on happening constantly then I get upset. I talked to my girlfriends who are in other relationships with their partners and they understand me but I thought maybe they are biased towards me as they are my friends. I am 26 next year and I don’t know why do I have to spend my days fighting and stressing over this simple problem. Please help me guys.
TL;DR: I’m a 25F in a 15-month relationship with my 22M boyfriend. Every time he goes home and we’re long distance, we have recurring issues around communication—especially when he says he’ll call me back but doesn’t, and then doesn’t acknowledge it later. I’ve communicated my needs clearly, but he gets defensive, calls me nagging, or asks for a break. Am I asking for too much or are my needs basic? How can I stop this pattern from repeating?