Rise in Mask-Off Misogyny Online

r/

Flaired NSFW because I’m on mobile and wasn’t sure what else to flair this as. Content Warning for Misogynistic Language if that bothers anyone here

Has anyone else noticed a significant uptick in just straight up misogyny online? It seems like no matter what platform I’m using, if the subject or poster of the post is a woman, there will be a barrage of the typical misogynistic commentary.

I’m a big believer in curating your online experience, and I’ve found myself having to block, silence, mute, etc, a growing number of individuals and even communities. And it’s everywhere, even female coded spaces will have hordes of angry men in their comment sections.

I don’t understand the point in commenting on something you dislike online; when I see something I don’t like, I either block or report it (whichever is appropriate) and move on. I don’t rage out in their replies about “the weaker gender” or “the more logical sex” or whatever other talking points they use. I don’t understand why they dedicate so much energy to things they hate.

I just wanted to vent a bit. It seems like I mute a generic front-page “funny” subreddit every single day for a post that’s just like 2012 iFunny levels of misogynistic humor. I wrote this post instead of attempting to debate my own humanity with reddit funnymen.

I’m sure this post will lead them to my inbox too, even though I’m just sharing my opinion and my experiences. Can’t be a woman online without a man finding a reason to hate you for it.

Thanks for listening to my woes

Comments

  1. avid-learner-bot Avatar

    It’s just so damn tiring having to constantly deal with this kind of crap, and it feels like no one really cares… but hey, at least someone is speaking up about it.
    I’m glad we can talk about stuff like this because it helps us all feel connected and supported.

  2. Troyabedinthemornin Avatar

    I’ve noticed a lot of shitty opinions online lately, saw in a different sub someone point out that because it’s summer, there’s an influx of edgy teenagers online spouting their crap. That’s not the whole reason but it could be part of it

  3. unhiddenninja Avatar

    You’re not the only one seeing it. There are several reddit communities I used to be subbed to that have just shifted to posting awful things about women.

    There is a lot of hate and it’s spilling over into everything. I genuinely wonder when we’ll have the next Elliot Rodger or lawnmower jackass.

  4. Thunarvin Avatar

    The current climate just emboldens them. They don’t feel the shame they should anymore. They go into spaces where they aren’t welcome because pissing people off is the only sense of achievement they’ll ever have in their lives. They think they have some kind of power if they can scare someone weaker than they are.

    Just a bunch of pathetic little man-babies, bullying their way around the places where there are no consequences.

    Edited to de-auto-correct the silliness.

  5. Mademoi-Sell Avatar

    Absolutely. I’ve also seen it propagated by women a lot lately. And not, “This is clearly a man posing as a woman”, but definitely women. It’s funny how I block them (misogynists – male or female) and then they go, “See, feminists can’t handle the truth. They don’t know how to debate.” Dude, nobody owes you an online “debate”. You didn’t bring any new information to the table to be discussed. But keep wailing on about how I owe you any of my time or energy. Bye Felicia.

  6. Hyperbolicalpaca Avatar

    I’ve said it before on these kinds of posts, it’s because of Donald trump…

    I know thats an American centric pov, I’m not American though and I’ve noticed it, the election of Donald trump empowered many men to just be vile, remember the “your body my choice” bullshit. And that being more accepted in America, naturally due to their outsized influence on the internet emboldens those same people in different countries

    It’s not just misogyny, transphobia and homophobia, along with racism have shot up since the election imo

  7. ExpensiveWords4u Avatar

    you’re not alone

    more

    ETA: when the main qualification for being in the current US president’s cabinet is to be accused of or closely linked to s3x crimes….it emboldens those who used to quietly hate..and makes the loud ones louder…

    We are in our own til we raise a population of children that reject the patriarchal norms and the way things are headed….that’s not happening any time soon. Mother’s who don’t hold their son’s accountable and then hold their daughters accountable for the choices and behavior of those son’s are still making things harder for us, hence the large population of white women who give votes up/vote against their own interest. With the help of an individualist culture & heavy propaganda…many willingly went backwards.

  8. MrPurse Avatar

    There seemed to be a brief 4 or 5 year period where being mysoginistic and homophobic was considered lame by young people. Kinda like “Ugh, it’s such an old meme, you’re ancient dad”. Being inclusive had rizz. Even living in the south, people who might be homophobic wouldn’t spew or rant about it…doing so was just lame. It wasn’t a pro-feminism thing, it was an anti-old-people-lame-memes thing. Boomers were afraid of gay people. Popular kids were the ones that would put other people down, not for appearances or hobbies, but because of virtue signaling ‘that shit doesn’t belong here’ to exclusivity. Young people might not understand things but they’d sure as hell welcome weird people. It was cool.

    Somehow the script flipped, and now it’s ‘cool’ again to be homophobic and yell slurs, and be mysoginistic, and it’s uncool to point it out.

    I play Party Animals, an online game like Fall Guys that has a lot of children on it, and it’s devastating to hear the same old crap I heard in rural middle school in the early 2000’s. For years, it was cringe to call someone a gay slur, and then suddenly I’m in these lobbies playing card games where no one speaks up when a slur is said. It’s devastating. The other day, people were called ‘playing like a girl’ if they weren’t doing well….I noticed it stood out because I hadn’t heard that in ages, and it’s just simple, stupid misogyny that no kid seemed to be using for awhile. It didn’t happen all at once, there was like a wave of immature kids coming in, and just no older kids holding them to higher standards, because suddenly it was lame to call it out, instead of cool and admirable and popular. Now the shitty little kids are the older kids emboldening younger ones. It’s as if a generation of kids was taught that it’s lame to call other people out on bad behavior, and suddenly no more people exist to call out bad behavior other than the old people, who are by definition lame. like….fuckkkk.

    I hope it’ll swing back the other way, but idk how we did it in the first place, and the fact society can just bend like that is so, so demoralizing.

  9. CaptainKoconut Avatar

    In a similar vein, I was in the comments on The Athletic (the NYT’s sports publication) and engaged a little bit with someone seriously posting straight up white supremacy talking points. I’ve seen a lot of shitty things commented on sports websites, but it was chilling to see someone unabashadly post white supremacist talking points on a mainstream site, and have their comments get multiple upvotes.

    I think this is relevant because the venn diagram between white dudes posting white supremacist stuff and mysoginst stuff is just a circle.

  10. yuhuh- Avatar

    Seen, felt and understood. It’s exhausting and they’re ruining everything bit by bit. I’m so sad and worried for our girls.

  11. Snarky_McSnarkleton Avatar

    Unfortunately, it’s a symptom of America’s growing fascism. The rise of a Christian fascist government, and the media normalization of hate, has emboldened the right to express what they’ve felt all along.

    DISCLAIMER: I’m a dude, and it makes me f*cking sick.

  12. Tremenda-Carucha Avatar

    It’s so damn tiring how often women have to prove their place in spaces where they’re constantly belittled… and it really grinds my gears when people waste so much energy hating instead of actually engaging in something meaningful, do you think we can push back without having to shut ourselves out first?

  13. SmallEdge6846 Avatar

    I have to be absolutely honest , I haven’t particularly noticed an ‘actual increase ‘ in misogyny. In fact, it seems pretty consistent. The thing i see more of now are the ‘anti-misogynist’ influencers/educators. I’m heavily sceptical towards a lot of them, particularly if they are men

  14. CanIGetAFitness Avatar

    What is happening in Japan and South Korea has arrived on the United States’ doorstep.

    Belligerent, belittling, and boorish behavior is being genetically deselected for reproduction. It is an extinction event for unsuccessful genes and strategies.

    This is causing an extinction flurry where they repeat the unsuccessful behavior in an attempt to make their obsolete strategy viable.

    Well, bye.

  15. CanyonOfFoxes Avatar

    I’ve been on the internet a long time. It’s always been like this.

  16. KitonePeach Avatar

    Yup. I’m on r/justgalsbeingchicks, and it’s such a kind and uplifting subreddit for celebrating women just having fun or being themselves.

    But anytime something is cross-posted there from any other subreddit, the difference in the comments is jarring. Where the gals chat is gentle and celebratory, the other subreddits will be so sexualized, mocking, or critical of the women in the post. I never realized how aggravating the rest of the Internet was until I saw how peaceful the gals subreddit is by comparison.

    I’m in a lot of gaming subreddits as well. There’s a known issue in pretty much every public-lobby game of major sexism. Women get kicked out of lobbies often, are scrutinized or bullied, or have creeps trying to flirt with them. I rarely comment on those subreddits, but when I do, I use more masculine language just to minimize the chance I get ‘caught’ being female.

  17. Kairiste Avatar

    bear in mind a lot of those may just be rage-bait bots. social media is engineered to hold your attention for as long as possible, and making someone angry keeps them engaged longer than if something makes them happy.

  18. WesThePretzel Avatar

    I collect Criterion Collection movies. They post videos to their YouTube where they invite people (e.g., actors, directors) to come pick out movies and talk about them. Every time it’s a woman, the comments are awful, without fail. They make fun of their appearance, belittle their choices in films, say no one cares about what they have to say, etc. Every time it’s a white man, the comments say things like “finally someone worthy.”

  19. AtomicBlastCandy Avatar

    Yeah, I believe that online misogyny has gotten worse over the past few years. I suspect it’s a combination of Andrew Tate fanboys and Russian trolls that account for a ton of it.