I’d ask if anyone else is struggling with the week before their period but I don’t need to ask, I know you are. The question is: how the fuck do you actually manage it??
The week before my period, my energy levels are absolutely wrecked. I’m over here sleeping 10-12 hours a day (usually 8-10 at night plus a 2 hour afternoon nap) and I’m still exhausted after 2-3 hours of being awake. I can doublefist a coffee and a redbull and then take a nap like I just had some chamomile tea. My focus is shit. My memory is shit. My proprioception is shit. I asked my boyfriend what I’m like during PMS week and he said “a concussed toddler with Alzheimers” which is ✨pure poetry✨ but also what the fuck 🤌
Given the fact that this is a wOmEn’S iSsUe and I know I’ll get no help from any medical professional, I’m turning to you, The Internet, for wisdom. God help me.
How do I plan around this? How do y’all plan around this? How do I live 3/4 of my life at 125% productivity to ensure that I can live 1/4 of my life at 0% productivity? Is this PMDD? Is this perimenopause? Is there a supplement that magically helped you? I struggle with executive function on the best of days (woooo ADHD double whammy) so please give me your MOST UNHINGED ADVICE in EXCRUCIATING DETAIL plz I’m begging
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For me it was finding out most of my fatigue was due to iron, vitamin D and magnesium deficiency which was made much worse during a period of blood loss. Supplementing had helped dramatically. Hasn’t fixed it all though.
I went on Depo for PMDD. Skin sensitivity, exhaustion, anger, malaise, extreme hunger, and suicidal ideation all gone.
I got an mirena IUD. 2 minutes of torture, 8 years no periods. I have pads and tampons older than my kids sitting in the bathroom cabinet 🤣
I don’t have much advice, I just want to say I see you and I understand the struggle. I know you expect to be ignored at the doctor but if it’s truly as bad as you’re describing I would at least try it. It shouldn’t be necessary that we have to walk on egg shells, but try to be careful in how you present yourself and your struggles at the doc. Wear nice clothes (don’t have to be fancy but don’t look disheveled), keep calm, state facts, don’t exaggerate. Just explain your symptoms plainly and be clear that it is affecting your ability to work. It may help if you keep a journal of your symptoms (date/symptom/severity/any treatment or meds you may have tried) that you can take along and show them. Doctors love to see history like that, it helps them better understand these ongoing issues. And if your doc doesn’t take you seriously, find a different one! Good luck!
Neurodivergent gal here. Are you pushing yourself too hard once you’re past your bad week? I struggle with executive functioning at the best of times and the fastest way I’ve found to send myself right back into a spiral is to push myself too hard when I start feeling a bit better. The answer might not be pushing yourself to live at 125% productivity for the times you are less able to keep up with things and more about finding a new normal that feels more tolerable.
I know there are certain life tasks that just have to get done, but I’d ask if there’s room to give yourself a bit more grace for not meeting some arbitrary level of productivity.
ETA: I don’t say this to just totally dismiss the medical stuff which sounds like a huge drag. I know we don’t all have OB/GYNs we adore–any chance you have a more trusted mental health professional with whom you might be able to bring up some of your physical symptoms? I’ve had physical symptoms come up in conversation with my psychiatrist and she’s been able to help me better articulate my symptoms and the extent to which they’re disrupting my life, something I know I tend to downplay if I’m bringing things up off the cuff to a physician. They might even be able to refer you to medical professionals who are better informed about ADHD and comorbid conditions or at least give you some advice on what to look out for.
Apparently your cycle has a huge impact on ADHD.
I started taking a prenatal every other day and I eat liver and onions on the first and last day. Cramps and fatigue are reduced by 85%.
r/PMDDxADHD
Oh and if you are a woman and have ADHD or PMDD huge likelihood you have both. Like huge.
look into pepcid, perhaps. some people experience pms relief when they take it I guess.
I try to front-load work so I don’t have to do much during that week because I know the quality won’t be there. Knowing I’m at my most productive the week after PMS once my period starts (or did, I’m on continuous birth control now) helped me not feel guilty for my lesser productivity.
Prioritize eating beef. Things with high iron. I make stewed beef and spinach which doesn’t sound appetizing but it’s good and helps. I get dehydrated so I take electrolyte tablets, magnesium before bed, and specific sleep supplements help a ton (they’re from the brand pure encapsulations and they’re pricey but worth it to me!). Epsom salt baths are good too.
Honestly I just take it easy. Go to bed early. Spend time reading. Eat chocolate if I want to. It is what it is.
Some people swear by Pepcid AC cause it helps block histamines that can make PMDD worse.
A daily antihistamine changed my life. 🫂🩷
If you find yourself indecisive about whether or not to take your meds for pain and/or anxiety, TAKE THE MEDS
My ADHD meds are less effective during this week as well. So I schedule things a little lighter. The plans I have for my kids (two of whom have special needs) are at-home plans when possible. If we’re going out into the world, I pack the diaper bag the day before if I can so I don’t need to function cognitively on a time crunch. I absolutely do not make the grocery list with anyone in the room.
I rely more on my husband too. I ask him to look over the lists or talk out what we’ll need. He takes on more tasks and we leave more time to get things done. He keeps a private calendar of my cycle so I don’t often have to say “I have less energy and need to shoulder less load this week” because he’s anticipating it. We’re not perfect but given how much our children need consistency, we’ve worked it out.
But that’s not the assignment so here are the unhinged things I do: I hide snacks in my kitchen and then set the kids up with a movie. 15 minutes before it’s time to cook dinner, I sit on the kitchen floor and watch trashy TV and eat junk food as quietly as I can. I use paper plates if I don’t have the energy. Take out a big blanket so everyone knows I’m not to move from my corner of the couch. I call it self care and take a bath just to avoid doing anything else. I do whatever online shopping I’ve been putting off. It’s time consuming to buy children’s clothes online so it’s still a task but requires no physical energy. I’d say I fold laundry but I actually think that is a vile task so it’s now my husband’s job. Sometimes I run the dishwasher twice and the second time is just big stupid things that don’t fit well. I clean the things I don’t mind cleaning before our respite worker comes so she will clean the things I hate to clean. We’ve never asked her to clean — she just does it.
“I asked my boyfriend what I’m like during PMS week and he said “a concussed toddler with Alzheimers” which is ✨pure poetry✨ but also what the fuck.”
I have no advice. I just wanted to compliment your BF on his ability to paint a picture with words. 😆
Alright so this feels unhinged because society but have you thought about just allowing yourself to exist in a space where you’re not 100% and letting that be ok? Just like take care of yourself and use it as a time to listen to your body and rest and recharge? And most importantly doing so without any shame or pressure to be “better”. Idk, once I stopped beating myself up for not being/feeling great during this time it really helped me. Tired? Great I’m sleeping! Ravenous? Great I’m eating! Weirdly emotional? Great I’m crying shamelessly over a children’s show. Of course there are some times when that’s not totally possible and also very possibly underlying medical issues but it sounds like you can give yourself a break!