I am very confused and have no one in my
life to talk to about it. Please help!!
I (22F) started a new position recently in an area I’ve never lived & one of my co-workers (m21) is super funny, kind & interested in having conversations w me (i think??) During our shifts we often talk alot & joke around with each other; trying to gauge each others likes & dislikes, how we grew up etc etc. I’ve only been there a few months but its gradually increased to what I consider flirtatious teasing, light touching and being around eachother more often. To the point that he confesses he misses me when we aren’t scheduled togethed or is really giddy if we are.
However, it seems to me that my other coworkers know something I don’t about the two of us? One of them teased us both, asking if we were having fun together & another asked if we had plans with eachother later. I am very worried because alone he acts as if he really likes me but seems as if I chase him when we are around others? I’m not sure, it’s just my perception. Other people are picking up on it and I am not close enough to anyone for them to tell me.
He also confides in me about other girls he speaks to, advice etc; but has a cute nickname for me. Am I just romanticizing something simple??
This is the first time I have actually liked a guy, I am very nervous and don’t want to ruin a good thing or miss out on the chance.
TL;DR He acts like he is interested in both private and public but it feels like he is playing in my face.
Comments
At this stage, there is only doubt and assumptions. You will have to take some risks if you want things to be clear.
But first : are you sure he’s straight? It happens often that we get confused about someone’s behavior when it doesn’t fit usual stereotypes, only to discover that they were just friendly.
Then : I’m a bit traditional, so I would expect him to make a move eventually. But still, you can lead him to : ask him what he’s doing this weekend. He should ask you back. When you answer “nothing planned”, id he’s into you it’s up to him to invite you somewhere….
It’s very rare in life to get the “guaranteed green light” here. You’re not going to be doing some light sweeping and stumble across his diary that fell out of his backpack and it magically flies open to the page where it says he’s secretly in love with you.
Even though EVERYTHING you listed here is nothing but green lights on Love Avenue… it’s possible he’s just really friendly and flirty!
If you want something to happen, you’re going to have to take a risk and put yourself out there. You’re going to have to risk being rejected. You’re going to have to risk a few awkward days at the job until things settle down.
And I get that’s scary. But if there’s one piece of advice I have that’s actually worth a damn it’s that in my entire life, I have never ultimately regretted putting myself out there and taking a risk and telling someone how I feel about them. But the “what ifs” will haunt me forever.
So yeah. Just cut the high school crap and see if he wants to go get a coffee somewhere. Or see a movie. Or come over and watch Netflix. Or make out in the storage closet. I dunno. Pick your level of desired intensity.
Also, understand that there’s a time component here. Windows of opportunity do not stay open forever. Just because he’s single today does not mean he’ll be single a week from now.