Don’t know if anyone cares but I had a success! A few days ago I made a post asking for advice on whether or not to approach a cute guy that was working at a deli counter. Most people said to start out with small talk, a few said to be very direct and just hand him my number, and another few said it was not a good idea to approach someone while they’re working. With all that in mind, I had a glass of wine and walked to the deli, only for him to not be there.
Sooo naturally I went again the next day, and he was there. I got super anxious but I told myself that I can be anyone I want in a deli for 5 minutes, and I wanted to be a confident person that was open to getting to know someone. I wore a cute outfit and did my makeup, and I really tried to make everything about me and my body language appear open and inviting. Honestly, that was all it took 😅 After I ordered a couple sandwiches and he started making them, I could tell he was glancing back at me so I made sure to look back and make a lot of eye contact. Sure enough he started asking how my day was going (ashamed to say I did not actually initiate the conversation itself but I do think my body language helped) and we ended up having a nice conversation for several minutes where I got to know a lot about him. Lots of eye contact and smiling 🙂
What’s funny is that I requested both sandwiches to be cold, but he ended up toasting both of them, which added a few minutes, and I couldn’t tell if he did that on autopilot or if he was intentionally trying to create more time for us to talk, lol. I know it sounds like a very small thing, but as someone with massive social anxiety, it was a big win for me to open myself to small talk with a stranger. I usually try to make myself appear as small and unnoticeable as possible, and I think opening up my body language made a big difference.
I’ll probably go back in a couple weeks and hopefully chat with him again. But it honestly gave me a much needed confidence boost and now I want to practice having more low-stakes conversations like that. Next time I’ll try to initiate it on my own because I feel like I kinda just lucked out this time lol.
I think moral of the story is that regardless of attraction, it’s really nice to have real encounters with humans nowadays and most people are very open to them 👍🏼
Comments
“FINISH HIM!”
Well done! Regardless of the outcome with him you deserve that happy confidence boost. Some of the most joyful things in life can be found just a tiny step outside our comfort zone but once you do it that zone expands and it’s inside it for good.
Good job for putting yourself out there!
Uhh… maybe a day or two, don’t wait a few weeks. Guys are dumb in these situations. Ask him if he wants to go get coffee or a drink. “Those that dare, win”
Congrats and good job putting yourself out there! Big win. I think what you did was perfect.
Just to push back gently on the people who said don’t approach someone at work. Im a guy and I just don’t think i know any hetero men that would be put off by this. Obviously don’t like hound someone at work, but we don’t have to live with the consequences of the constant male gaze and as such it’s basically just always nice if someone shows interest in you. I would probably never approach a woman at work without a lot of very obvious invitation, but I really just don’t think it’s the same thing in reverse
super cute
Congratulations! Hoping you have good luck going forward with this guy!
Something to mention about approaching someone at work: it’s not the setting per se that is the problem, but the power dynamic. If you ask someone out while they’re at work, they don’t have the power to leave (unless they’re the manager) if they feel comfortable. However, if you can avoid putting them on the spot by giving them the power, it’s not an issue. For example, leaving your number and then exiting the workplace. Now they aren’t put on the spot in a situation they can’t leave; instead, they control how the interaction will go forward (if at all).
Weeks??
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