Let me just start off by saying, I’ve(34f) been with my fiancé(32m)/father of my child, for almost 8 years. My fiancé has an identical twin brother (only brother), who also has a child with his fiancée, that’s about 7 months apart in age from my child. My fiancé’s brother(32m) and his fiancée(26f) have been together for about 7 years.
Long story short, since this beginning- my fiancé’s brother’s fiancée, has exhibited being very jealous and insecure about mine and my fiancé’s relationship. It seemed like everything has always been comparative in her eyes, whether if it’s who has the nicest house, to cars, and careers. Whatever we did, they did. Whatever we bought, they bought. I always chalked it up to it being a “twin thing”, because the boys are very much alike.
May of this year, is when my fiancé proposed to me…and just 3 days after, his twin brother also proposed to his girlfriend. Now they are set to get married next month. Problem is, we didn’t get invited. My fiancé’s mom called me earlier to tell me about the wedding invites and when I told her we had no idea this was even happening she had nothing to say except “he should’ve at least invited his brother”, not comprehending how disrespectful that is to me and my fiancé.
Given the history of the brothers fiancée, we think she got upset that I got engaged first, and now she wants to make sure they get married before we do.
Since she’s never liked my extroverted personality (she’s always been more timid and shy), and the fact I get along with everyone. It’s apparent shes using this as an opportunity to break the twins up and become the main character since she thinks I apparently steal her shine. Although, I’m not close with her, and we’ve had our differences years ago (she’s quite drama filled and I wouldn’t put up with it) I don’t hate her, let alone haven’t even seen her or spoke to her in over a year. We didn’t even get invited to their child’s birthday party this year and my child was so sad. The fiancée has a habit of basically cornering my fiancés brother and telling him to choose either his own twin brother or her when things get sticky.
I feel like this is such a shady move to put the twins, to not allow his brother to come, even though my fiancé claims he “doesn’t care”, I know he’s hurt by it. Am I wrong for being upset? What should I do?
TL;DR –
My(34f) fiancé’s(32m) twin brother’s girlfriend has always been jealous and competitive of my relationship. They got engaged just 3 days after we did, and now they’re getting married and we’re not invited to the wedding. I feel she’s doing this on purpose to break the twins up and shun me out of the family because I get along with everyone in the family and she does not. My fiancé is acting as if he doesn’t care about the invite, but I know he’s crushed. What should I do?
Comments
What you should do is stay out of it. This is between the brothers and you shouldn’t open your mouth to say anything. If anyone questions you just say you don’t really know what’s going on. The last thing you need is to feed into her drama. It will only make you look bad too. Let her look like the evil witch and just keep quiet.
I don’t think there’s anything for you to do. This is one of those situations you have to leave your fiancé. It’s his brother and he wasn’t invited either, it’s up to him to decide how to handle it and what to say/do. He could ask whether his invite got lost, give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe make things a bit awkward haha.
I think you should focus less on them and more on planning your own wedding now! Move forward and forget about it – if you were planning to invite them, still do it!
Does fiancée’s family know that both of you aren’t invited to the wedding?
That’s going to look weird for every single person attending. People are going to notice that the groom’s identical twin isn’t at the wedding.
Did something happen with them?
I would feel very offended not to be invited to the wedding.
Man I really wish for one day I would just have your petty problems fr
Just give no energy to it.
Be amicable whenever you meet.
Say nothing about their wedding unless you’re asked. Such as “why didn’t you come to ___s wedding?” – “we weren’t invited”. Nothing more.
Confrontation would do nothing.
Complaining would do nothing.
Having a wedding battle would do nothing (in case you feel like upstaging her in grandiose/marrying earlier out of spite).
Just give her nothing.
You’ll be fine, neither of you are marrying her. Let her fizzle out and implode if she’s set on it.
Invite them to your wedding and be the bigger woman, everyone will see her for what she is