First I want to preface this post by saying that I am going to take any advice given in the comments with a grain of salt bc ultimately it is still a decision I need to make, so feel free to go hard on any criticism. I understand that I’m only giving my side of the story and no one really knows the extent of our friendship except my friend and I.
That being said I’ll get straight to the point. I have recently gotten out of a very long term relationship (10 years) as of a couple of months ago. I’m not really interested in getting into another long term relationship anytime soon. My life is a little chaotic trying to deal with the aftermath of everything.
A little under a year ago I reconnected with my friend, I’ll call them V. V and I used to date in HS (more than 10 years ago). We slowly started becoming more friendly and eventually it even felt like we resolved our past issues when we were kids. They even helped me get through my break up this year. We are really good friends now. We go out for drinks and hang out together semi-regularly.
Now V got married about 6 years ago and they also got divorced from their partner almost two weeks after I went through my break up. It’s been messy for them too but they seem to be coming out of everything now.
I really enjoy being with V, obviously. And I wanted to ask them out but I immediately thought that if they didn’t feel the same way, it would ruin our friendship. And I really value their friendship.
I know they wouldn’t make the first move if they did feel the same way, so my question is how often is this a good decision? How often does it work out with people in my situation? Is it worth finding out? Or should I just take this to my grave? Any advice appreciated.
TL;DR
I want to ask out my friend/ex after we both coincidentally exited long term relationships around the same time but I’m worried of losing their friendship.