Repost to make what advise I was asking for more clear.
I was visiting some friends on Friday (we had been friends since High School so about 15 years) and we went out for drinks. After we were going to eat, they decided they were going to eat Indian food. I have never eaten Indian before so I have no idea what anything is, so I tell them I am going to call it a night and will get something on my own way home. This started an argument about my being a “picky eater” and how I only eat “country foods” I admit I got a little defensive and argued back how I didn’t want to ruin their evening and they could go eat and we could catch up again another time. Well one friend got really mean about it and said how I have a “small town” mentality I never grew out of and that if I had traveled somewhere outside my “comfort zone” I would have better understanding of other people cultures and issues, and that because I don’t engage in these things I can appear uneducated and ignorant. Of course we all had been drinking but it was way more heated than it should have been and I got offended and my feelings hurt. At some level I know he was right and I am kind of small town, but on another I am upset about the anger of what I choose to and not to eat. I know picky eater can be horrible in social groups and I didn’t want to be an issue so I was going to bow out, what wrong with that?
I would like to stay friends with them, I know we were buzzed and it just went sideways, and turned kind of ugly. I am taken back by it because we have never really argued like that among us, and it got really heated.
So to make my request for advise more clear, how do I reach out and move past this argument, how do I get passed the embarrassment of causing this whole situation to begin with? Like do I send a group apology to everyone?
The outcome I would like is to avoid this happening again and keep the friends group.
tl;dr I got into a fight with some friends about being a picky eater and choosing not to join them for dinner, things got ugly, I would like to move past this, but now I am afraid since things turned ugly it may be too late.
Comments
When that many people agree, they are probably right. Admit fault and ask what you can do to improve.
>At some level I know he was right and I am kind of small town, but on another I am upset about the anger of what I choose to and not to eat. I know picky eater can be horrible in social groups and I didn’t want to be an issue so I was going to bow out, what wrong with that
There’s nothing wrong with being ‘small town’ and knowing what you’re comfortable with. I don’t think you have anything to apologise for. They blew up at you for not wanting to eat a specific type of food, which then led on to personal attacks on your character. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong to apologise for?
What happened after they bitched you out for not wanting Indian food? You go home on yer own or what?