Hi everyone, I’ve been talking to this guy for a little while now, and I recently noticed he follows quite a few dating coaches on social media — people like @datingbyblaine and others in that space. I’m not someone who jumps to conclusions, but it did raise a bit of a flag for me. I’m trying to figure out what it says about his mindset when it comes to dating and relationships.
On one hand, maybe he’s genuinely trying to grow, learn, and understand women better — which I totally respect. But on the other hand, some of that content can promote really strategic or manipulative dating behavior, and I don’t want to end up in a situation where someone is “playing the game” rather than being real and intentional.
I’m curious if anyone else has had experience dating someone who’s into this kind of content. Was it ultimately a good sign, or did it end up being a red flag?
TD;LR
DATING COACHES
Comments
Yeah man thas a big ole red flag that this guy is consuming manosphere content.
He might be a decent guy that doesn’t know it’s all toxic stuff though. Maybe ask some questions that give you an insight into his worldview and views on women and see if you’re shocked or disgusted by any of them.
It’s not necessarily indicative of someone who supports or harbours toxic views towards women, but i understand your concerns. It might be worth considering calling him out on the content he’s viewing and seeing how he responds.
It may be as simple as using hints and tips in order to get dates in the hope of finding someone who matches his views and beliefs. It may be that he’s using these techniques just to get laid.
I used to consume this sort of content a lot when I was in my late teens and very early twenties. It’s not necessarily just blatantly lying and being scummy to get with women all the time per se, but often is. The absolute best case scenario with someone like that is that they’re not at all sexist but are still willing to not be themselves in order to better attract a partner by acting in ways that are not who they naturally are, which still isn’t a great thing in my view.
I wouldn’t necessarily write him off as sexist and manipulative. It’s a very real possibility though with content like that. Even in the best case scenario I think it sort of reflects poorly on a person even if they aren’t taking sexist lessons from it. As someone who used to be into that stuff I would view it as a red flag in a person.