I need to make a few extremely important notes before the “just say something” advice roles in… MIL is a diagnosed and untreated narcissist. I don’t have much of a relationship with her, nor do I want one (specifically after she made remarks about being a mom for me since mine is dead…) However, I like her girlfriend even less because of her enabling and unstable behavior.
Yeah, well, I was just getting a soda at the gas station… I’m a plain Jane kinda gal, so MIL’s fiancee doesn’t notice me noticing her there with another woman- the same woman who is plastered over her social medias a few years back and the same woman who’s initials are tattooed on her ankle -until she hears me paying for my order and skidaddles out of there without paying for her own drink.
It’s noteworthy, too, that I live with MIL and the gf and certainly would’ve recognized her vehicle at the gas station (which is exactly 62 strides in walking from the house)… but it wasn’t there. She got into the other woman’s vehicle and I could see them holding hands.
So, Reddit, how on earth do I speak up without stirring the pot?
PS I already told my boyfriend (who receives the brunt of his moms narcissist behavior) and he said nothing but seems mildly agitated now
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One route is to just mention it casually. Like “oh yeah, I saw X with Y at the gas station the other day…” It might be enough without the hand holding part, or you can just throw it in to clear the air entirely. Not wanting to be cheated on is pretty universal, snd it doesn’t sound like you despise her to any point you’d be glad it was happening. Some side notes are she may have been fully aware of the visit, and a wild card that it was all just an above board visit.
You don’t. Unless you can find another place to live asap, stay out of this drama. Not your circus.
You need to look up grey rock technique.
You don’t want to be the focus of this at all. Messengers get not only shot, but destroyed in ways you don’t want to even be aware of.
I’d seriously reconsider your relationship with these people. The worst of a group sets the acceptable behavior standard for the group, family or friends. Your bf hasn’t disowned them, which means their behavior is acceptable to him.
Even if he’s not yet independent of them, the chances are that he’s fine with it even if he complains.