this is something that used to happen when i (19F) was in high school, but i don’t know whether it’s normal. i’m not in high school anymore, but i want to know what people think. in high school, my parents (45M and 45F) would tell my that i’m not allowed to study more than two hours per day, and that i wasn’t allowed to study on weekends since i don’t have school on weekends, and therefore, there’s no new homework, since everything should’ve been finished during the week already. this was very stressful, as i was trying to get into a good university, and i needed good grades. they would tell me that “no one else studies that much in high school”, even though i asked my friends if they do, and they would say yes. when i would tell my parents this, they would say that either i or my friends are lying, since “high schoolers don’t get that much homework”. one time i asked if the study time can be changed to 3 hours, and then there was a huge fight. they said it was because they wanted me to learn time management, but i don’t buy that. they also did not allow me to go out with friends and never enrolled me in any extra-curricular activities. they would tell me that i can’t hang out with my friends, so that i could “focus on school”. that doesn’t even make sense though, because they had a limit on how much time i could study anyways? so it doesn’t make sense why i couldn’t spend time with my friends lol. please let me know what you think about this situation. it seems to be more about control but i’m not sure, please let me know.
TL;DR parents not letting me study as much as i need and contradicting themselves by saying i can’t hang out with my friends outside of school so that i could “focus on school”, even though i had set limits on my study time.
Comments
Its pretty weird to me. It sounds like your parents were slackers in school and probably only graduated by copying other people’s homework.
This sounds to me like your parents might have been abusive. Is this the only area in which they tried to control you in a way that impacted your ability to be successful?
Or maybe, they were jealous? Related to what the other commenter suggested, perhaps they weren’t academically successful and now are taking it out on you?