So this weekend my girlfriend and I (both women) were visiting my parents and shortly before we were due to leave, I took her on a walk through the nature reserve (edit: it’s not exactly one, just a little area protected from housing development; also the rescue I called knew where I found it so I’m going to trust their judgment that I did the right thing here) near where I grew up. As we were reaching the end of the trail, we encountered a couple who had found an injured baby bird. This bird had likely fallen out of the nest (the trees around were really tall), and it couldn’t use its legs, which were sticking out at odd angles.
The woman wanted to save it; the man didn’t. I didn’t want to just do nothing, so I grabbed my phone and looked up a few rescues. I called one and sent them a picture and the woman on the phone told me that he looked like a fledgling robin, couldn’t fly yet, but should have been able to support himself on his legs and hop. They would accept intake to try to rehabilitate him, but were only open for another half hour. We couldn’t get there in time, and were about to drive back home – a five hour trip – so I couldn’t keep him overnight. She suggested some Facebook groups that might be willing to transport this bird, so I joined and made posts.
The man in the couple who found him was adamant that he would do nothing, even though his wife was crying. Fortunately, my girlfriend agreed to help (she was driving all weekend since we were borrowing her dad’s truck and we hadn’t asked if I could drive it). So we took the bird back to my parents’ while I tried to figure out what to do. Luckily my sister’s MIL, who lives near the rescue and not too far out of our way, agreed to take him in overnight and drop him off in the morning. He’s there now and, to my knowledge, is still alive. (I probably should have had a more concrete plan before doing this, but I’m just so glad it worked out!! At least now I know what to do for next time.) It added several hours to our trip, and we didn’t get back home until really late.
But it really put something into perspective. Without fail, almost every man in my life who I’ve talked to about this (with the exception of one of my coworkers) has said that they wouldn’t have saved the bird. Almost every woman I’ve talked to about this has said I did a good thing and is glad I saved the bird.
I can see that there are pragmatic reasons not to have rescued him, but I’m still glad I did it. If it weren’t for the dude’s dismissive attitude, would I have gotten so fired up about it? I’m not sure.
But it made me think about the fact that almost every animal shelter I’ve volunteered for has been staffed almost exclusively by women. The only man I can think of from the last shelter was a retired guy who drove animals across the province to transfer them from shelter to shelter. There might be one or two men that work with my current shelter.
I don’t know exactly how to feel about this observation, and I know that it’s not universal. Plenty of men would have tried to help the bird, and plenty of women wouldn’t have bothered. But there was enough of a trend that it was notable.
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I mean, im a woman, and I probably wouldn’t have saved it. But that’s because im of the philosophy to not interfere with nature unless the problem is human made. (Like if it had been hit by a car or attacked by a cat.)
the only exceptions i know of are specialised rescues for wolves and foxes… with state accreditation, etc. and centers for birds of prey. non-profit, generalist (all wildlife) rescue centers seems to be mostly run by women.
edit: actually, it’s still not half-half. just saying that there are more men interested in birds of prey and wolves than hedgehogs and other small common wildlife.
I remember climbing in the roof of my ex’s sister to get kittens out of it on a 40 degree day. I wish I could have stayed to take them to the shelter but I had to go to work soon afterward. People should save more things. I don’t kill bugs other than mosquitoes – mosquitoes are dangerous and kill millions of people.
The nonprofit world more generally is overrepresented by women … yet most executive positions are taken by men
Your observations are backed up by facts. My wife is a veterinarian. And the huge majority of the people she works with are also women. Women comprise over 2/3 of all veterinarians and that ratio is increasing every year.
When my son was ten, my husband and I made a trip to North Carolina. On a difficult mountain road we found a dog that was injured and I poured it some water and started trying to clear a place in the truck to carry it back to civilization. My husband argued vehemently against “ruining our vacation” for a dog that would probably die anyway. I was unable to lift the dog, and my husband wasn’t willing to and so, in the end, the dog was left there and we drove down out of the mountains with me and our son crying hysterically.
My son volunteered at a cat rescue for two years and constantly picks up little hurt animals. They can learn.
I’ve met a lot of conservationists, rehabbers, etc. in the bird world and beyond. A lot of them (in birding) are retired women, but there’s also plenty of men. Maybe 60/40 women-men. Mostly all retired or close to retired. Rehabbing takes extensive time and funds, and most people just can’t do that without having an abundance of time or funds.
Outside of the bird world, I’d say it’s definitely more male-dominated. Mammalian rehabbers in my city are all men with owner-operated operations out of their own homes. Reptiles even more so
Falling out of the tree is part of birds’ life cycle.
First they are fed in the nest, then they are fed on the ground.
Leaving the fledgling on the ground next to the tree would have been an okay thing to do, and in most cases, the right thing to do, as it is part of their natural life cycle.
Source : Veterinary Assistant and off-hours avian first-responder.
https://www.spca.com/en/chicks/
It’s a sociological thing. Obviously, it is a sweeping generalisation, but women are raised to be responsible for the health and wellbeing of others. Men are taught that’s a female role.
My dad would have helped the bird. He’s brought a lot of injured animals to sanctuaries throughout my life. Brought a turtle with a damaged shell in even after it bit him.
But you don’t meet a lot of men with a sense of civic responsibility anymore.
I’ve known men, women, and nonbinary people to try to save animals. When I was a teenager, my friends (all genders) found a nest of baby squirrels that was about to get rained out. When I was in my twenties, my brother and his friend found a really young puppy, days old, and worked their asses off to save the baby. My father-in-law and my partner’s great uncle also helped with that adventure. We can choose to only look for women (and there are so so so many women doing the hard things and loving as hard as they can), but we can also look for other kinds of people doing the hard things, and doing them invisibly since no one wants to give them credit for loving as hard as they can.
It’s kind of amazing how often women take the lead when it comes to helping animals in need, and I think it says something about the way we’re raised to care for others… but hey, look at all the good that comes from it, there’s real strength in that shared sense of responsibility, and it makes me hopeful for the kind of world we’re building together.
Rescuing injured animals (that aren’t endangered or injured by human activity) from a “nature reserve” doesn’t really sound like the right thing to do in general… if that animal dies it would become needed sustenance for other life – other animals, insects, fungi, bacteria, etc.
Estrogen is why women are nurturing and put up with so much shot to keep the peace.
When estrogen declines in perimenopause and into menopause, it’s why We Do Not Care is so much more or reaction to bullshit and stupid rules about or actions and our bodies.
Why are grandmothers nurturing all over again? But that time, the chunk of visceral fat in our apple body matronly figures is making estrogen enough for nurturing to come back. But not enough for us to take your bullshit!
I’m sure on average that’s true. I just know I’d never want to be with a man who was that uncaring about animals.
Whatever else I can say about my ex, at least he was happy to help me when I fostered animals and he genuinely loved all the baby animals I’ve taken care of over the years.
Once again, eternally grateful for my husband
He has helped me several times to rescue wild animals or wrangle a lost pet, we keep cans of dog food in our pantry and have an emergency leash in the glove box.
I think the most notable time was when we saw an adolescent/young adult female duck that had been hit or something, it seemed like both of her legs were broken, and she was dragging herself by her wings.
He didn’t bat an eye when I told him I wanted to help her. We made the short drive to my parent’s to grab a box and a towel.
When we made it back to her, I ended up having to take off the slippers I was wearing (was not expecting to be running around lol). He helped ‘herd’ her so I could grab her with the towel and wrap her up. Then he grabbed my slippers and walked my barefoot butt across the road 😆
Drove us to the local bird rescue while I kept her with me in the front. She was sweet, and sooo soft. She was unhappy, though, and bit the towel and didn’t let go until like 10 minutes into the drive 😅
Its also why like 90% of vegetarians are women. I am on the board of an animal rescue, I love animals a lot. But in my neck of the woods, we dont call rescues and use their resources for what is actually very common and expected in the bird world. Not to sound like Vanessa Hudgens at the beginning of covid, but some baby birds are gonna die. Its part of their life. Its expected that not all the eggs will make it, not all the hatchings will make it either.
Not saying you guys wasted resources, maybe its different where you are. But if you call my city’s wildlife rescue for a common bird, they’re gonna tell you to stop wasting resources.
Worse, my sister runs a cat rescue in an urban area. She says almost everyone involved in her area is female, but it’s the cat rescuers who are male who are always featured in the press.
Yep, when I was a kid I swerved my bike once to avoid hitting (and probably killing or severely injuring) a stray cat. Scrapped my knees and had some surface damage to my bike but all in all, not bad.
First thing my dad said is, “That was dumb, why’d you swerve? Should have just hit the car!” (Like I wouldn’t have fallen off my bike after hitting a cat anyway…). To be fair, he hates cats
But the caring professions are overwhelming women dominated. It’s almost like we’re socially trained to take care of others. And why wouldn’t the patriarchy make it this way? Nurses, social workers, teachers in the younger years, daycares…. Very female dominated
My husband worked tirelessly for several hours to free something scampering about in our loft. Honestly, I thought a rat was going to plop out on his face, but a baby blackbird shot out instead.
I can’t imagine someone not caring about a poor bird dying cruely – but obviously, they don’t now you mention it. I am sure this is a very common split, interesting and worrying.
I wonder if it has to do with the upbringing of most men, sort of the same way many are traditionally taught feelings and empathy are bad (mostly to the men’s mh detriment later ofc).
I think men’s brains don’t ruminate on their past choices, and they don’t have the need to “feel” they did the right thing. Their empathy doesn’t extend to past situations, things they have no control over, things that seem “statistically inevitable,” as an ex once said to me.
I found a nest in an impossible spot the other week, on the underside of a rock that was 3’ above a river in the mountains. Any fledglings that fell out of the nest were sure to hit cold water and get swept by a current. I had been at the rock, in a small swimming hole, for about an hour when I noticed the nest, full of open beaks waiting for mom to bring back a meal. I realized she wouldn’t with me there, and went to leave, before realizing those birds were fucked regardless. I was in a spot that I would not have been able to hike out with them safely.
My fiance was with me. I have thought about those birds almost daily for the past few weeks. Wondering if they made it, or if I should’ve grabbed them. I’m willing to bet they haven’t crossed his mind since the minute we walked off from them. And he’s a sweet one.
This is something I’ve noticed working in a veterinary clinic and animal shelter as well. I noticed it in clients at the vet too, seemed like most clients were female. I will say though, some of the most dedicated and obsessive (in a good way) pet owners were male clients with cats. People say dogs are a man’s best friend, but working at the vet I saw some incredible bonds between men and their cats that have stuck with me in my memory even a decade later
Weirdly, I had a situation recently saving two bumblebees (trapped in paces they should not have been IN MY HOUSE) and then also a baby bird that got out of its nest. My sweet partner helped with all those situations and wouldn’t leave until we got the baby bird back in the nest. He also helped me check on the bumblebees the next day (making sure they weren’t still where they got put.
I think he’s a keeper. I would not have occurred to me to measure based on a scale of helping save others who may be defenceless. Perhaps it should.
I would say an exception is vegan spaces. I volunteer at a farmed animal sanctuary and there are tons of men. Still more women, but you’ll never see so many huge, tough, tatted up guys who are so sweet and gentle and passionate about saving animals. 🙂
It is always funny, though, because whenever we have events and visitors to the sanctuary, you always see these couples where the woman is vegan and the man is trying very hard to be all tough and macho and “I need my meat.” Very rarely do I ever see the reverse.
I must have gotten a rare one cause my husband will hop to saving anything lol he’s a bit of an undercover softy though. Since we had kids it’s gotten worse! He cries every chick flick or kids movie we watch lol
I agree. It seems like it might be more common in women. That’s why I’m so glad my husband cares about animals. He works outside and he has taken birds to rehab centers before. He spent an extra hour after work going to a couple different ones because some of them were too full to help the bird. He’s also helped cats and dogs too. And he’s spent time freeing lizards and birds from glue traps (not ours). It would be deeply disturbing to me if my spouse didn’t care about animals (or was moved by a creature suffering in general) 😕
For future reference, use AHNOW.ORG to find a close rehab!
The value of human life matters more to women than it does to men. I have a male coworker who was asking me about my cats. The conversation started off innocently enough but it very quickly took a dark turn and he started asking if I’d eat my cats to survive if I had no other food. He didn’t understand why that question upset me.
I m into my luteal phase,almost crying rn – Thank you for saving the little bird!
While in general, this is probably true, as someone who volunteered in rescue for a long time it feels disloyal to some of the men I worked alongside not to say; some of the most deeply loving, hard fighting for life rescuers I’ve had the pleasure to know are men.
I think part of the trend towards men saying put the animal down comes from our societies toxic need to make men cold hard providers. We teach them they have to give the difficult answers in situations of crisis, and we teach men not to feel the emotions they have just as much as we women. We teach them that it’s better to act and feel certain, rather than wait and see if something other than our sudden action can solve the problem. Women tend to go much slower, and navigate uncertainty a lot better. A lot of rescue is just support, wait, and hope with love.
When men overcome those cultural expectations, oh man what awesome rescuers they can be. I just think of Thom, he was my buddy at the SPCA when he and I ran the emergency station during a wildfire crisis.
When I think of Thom, I think of finding him on the third day laying on the hard concrete arena floor, sweet talking to this terrified little Maltese. Her mom had to go to her resources appointment so he was babysitting the dog, and just seeing this 80 year old man curled up on cold hard cement baby talking, it will always warm my heart.
Definitely not to discount what you’re saying; in general I think you are absolutely correct! Just had to share the other side to keep some balance ❤️
What I think is more interesting is that if you asked children, I don’t think there would be this gender divide. I think they’d all want to help the bird.
Growing up my Mom really didn’t like that I was obsessed with animals and kept telling me it was for girls. I’d wanted an animal hospital toy, but she said it was for girls and wouldn’t let me have it. Her and my Stepdad saw me liking animals as a feminine trait. I don’t know whether it’s common for men to be told by their parents to not show compassion towards animals.
My sister had volunteered at an animal shelter, but we got told due to the bad experiences the animals had with men I’d not be able to help out there. (I’m non binary but AMAB) I’d wanted to adopt some dogs at one point, but again a lot of them have a horrible fear of men, and it sucks that so many men treat animals poorly.
I do wonder now. I may just ask people in my life if they’d save a baby bird or not and see who says yes and who says no.
I find it pretty upsetting that the man was going to let the baby bird die. I feel sad when I see a squirrel dead. I try not to kill bugs whenever possible.
Purely anectdotal, but I’ve been volunteering with animal rescues for about 20 years. I’d say the ratio of men to women is about 1:3. I do also work with a man and wife who run their own rescue, and he worked tirelessly for days after a recent flood to rescue every cat and dog he could. His wife even had to make him stop trapping feral cats on a property because a new storm was coming, but he stayed just to save twelve more.
I’ve been lucky to know some incredibly dedicated male and female animal rescuers.
the animal shelters in my area are run by men
I would, and my husband would, and that’s a big reason why I’m married to him.
A lot of men won’t even stick around to take care of their wives or partners who are fighting cancer or other serious illnesses, so this unfortunately tracks.
Well, if MY husband had said that, then he would no longer be my husband. Nope. That’s just heartless (and my husband is a rather logical man, but he would never say that he wouldn’t save the bird/let me save it. In fact, he was always on board with me saving injured birds and bringing them to a shelter)
Ive watched men gas it to hit animals crossing the road. So.
There’s that.
The men in my life kill animals for sport/pleasure, while I can’t even stomach killing a mouse whose poop might kill me if I don’t.
My ex husband patched a hole in our attic and inadvertently trapped two baby squirrels in there. I begged him for days to help me get the babies out because I could hear them scratching in the ceiling and I could see the mother squirrel desperately trying to dig through our roof to get them. About three days later he relented and helped me get them out of the attic just for him to turn around and tell me to dump them in the woods and “let nature take care of it”. I took them to an animal rescue, but unfortunately it was too late and they passed the next day. He scoffed at me the entire time. I still feel so awful about the whole situation
Not surprised at all. I rescue animals. I take animals to wildlife rescues. I know very few men who would bother, unfortunately.
I was on a day trip to a neighboring city last summer with my male partner and my male friend who was visiting from abroad. There was a fledgling that had fallen out of a nest on top of an old building and couldn’t be repatriated. My friend and partner stayed with the bird for an hour, and fed it water from a pipette (it was a super hot day), while I found the town hall/council and arranged for a rescue (because I was the only one with complex language skills).
We saved the bird. I was really proud of all of us. It felt magical and important.
I should add that neither of the men in this story is straight, nor interested in traditionally masculine gender roles.
Kind of related, but this morning I started my hike and a guy came in just behind me with his off leash dog. We took two different trails that meet up again. As I’m approaching the intersection his dog stops, all on alert, staring at something in the woods. I heard something big crashing through the underbrush but I didn’t see anything. I figured it was a deer. The guy grabs his dog’s collar and starts hauling it back down the trail. Says nothing to me. I figured he didn’t trust his dog to not run after the wildlife.
A couple minutes later, I hear a mountain lion calling from up in the direction where that big animal was heading. Everything clicks–he and his dog must have seen the mountain lion and it bolted up the hill and he just took his dog and left, not bothering to show a shred of concern for a lone woman.
On my way out I saw another dog walker coming into the park and warned him, and I reported to local agencies so they can be aware. Even the second guy didn’t seem to take me seriously but at least I did my due diligence.
Checks out. My wife and I (also woman) have rescued 4 birds this season, and we have a pet sparrow from last year.
Women could potentially save the world if we could get the men to just get out of our way.
The majority of men like to pretend they are protectors, when in reality they are selfish and cowardly/extremely risk-averse. If they acted with any altruism or honour there would be a lot more men working at rescues or helping animals in distress. Those who do act altruistically or honourably are pretty rare, sadly.
Those who act like that guy only ‘help’ things when it helps themselves. If they, the “most important”, don’t profit from an action of good will, those types will not do it. Women are much more likely to act altruistically because they’re more likely to actually care about other beings and the social contract, and understand that the glue of society is cooperation.
In that guy’s case, he was deciding that the bird wasn’t ‘worth it’ because he gains nothing from it, and is openly disrespecting his wife by defying her intent to help, i.e. he profited from refusing, because he used it as an opportunity to belittle her.
The pigeon rescue circles I’m involved in are largely woman-dominated too, with loads of neurodivergent, disabled, & LGBTQIA+ people.
I run a cat rescue and my husband is heavily involved. I actually think he gets more emotional about the losses than I do, possibly because I adopt a very “it’s the job” attitude to get through it and keep going. But, he’s the only man in our small-ish town that’s involved. All the people I met when I moved here four years ago, who were already doing TNR and rescue, were women. And all my volunteers are women. So, it makes me very grateful for my husband, for caring about these creatures and for being part of the solution!
I’ve seen men in pick-up trucks purposely serve to kill animals crossing the road multiple times in my life, so I’m not surprised. One time I witnessed it while I was moving a cat that had been hit by a car. It’s almost like he saw me carrying the dead cat and like a toddler, ran over a squirrel.
This is one thing I adore about my husband. He will always go out of his way to save the animal.
Loose dog on the road? We’re pulling over and getting the emergency tether and puppy treats out of the back of the car.
Loose feral looking puppy that is sprinting back and forth through our yard, and will take hours to catch? He’ll spend hours capturing the puppy with me, and lovingly adopt her and name her and commit to training her himself when we determine she doesn’t have people looking for her.
Find an abandoned kitten on the last day of our vacation several states away? He was happy to cancel our flight and rent a car to drive 10 hours home with the little baby safely cared for in a freshly purchased carrier.
Fallen fledgling? He’ll google and make a safe spot for the baby until we figure out the correct course of action or can take it to our local rehab?
Snake in the garage that would die if we released it into the yard during the dead of winter? This woman happily drove me and the snake 3 hours to the closest rehab center that would take her.
Albino Opposum that seems to have some mental deficiencies living under our deck? He builds it a nice little spot to safely sleep where the coyotes can’t get at it and sets up a trail camera so we can see it bedding down every night.
Neighbor has a wild Turkey stuck in their fence? My man painstakingly frees the bird while getting scratched and pecked at.
He’s also befriended the crows with me, had several squirrel buddies of his own, and lovingly makes sure the frogs that live on our back patio have enough clean water to drink when it’s hot out.
And he’s the only man I’ve met who is like this. I’ve met plenty of men who pretend they’re this way, but all of them fail with the follow through. He really does it and he means it with his whole heart. I love him so much.
I work at a charity that helps parents with baby clothes and stuff and there’s like 100 women here and 5~ men
I live in Australia where we have a major feral rabbit problem and they are often roadkill.
Me and my wife (both women) were driving to go grocery shopping and I thought I saw a rabbit on the side of the road that moved so I made her turn around and go back and sure enough there was. The rabbit was alive but it was surrounded by poop and when I got close it tried to crawl away. My guess is the back legs got broken being hit by a car and it had just been lying there since starving to death.
I called the local animal hospital and they confirmed I could bring the rabbit in. I wrapped it up in a towel I keep in my car and my wife drove us to the animal hospital while I bawled my eyes out.
We dropped the rabbit off and I’m 99% certain they euthanised it since they are a pest that are actively culled and it was quite injured but all that mattered to me was the poor thing was terrified and suffering and I wanted to help.
I can’t understand anyone who would see an animal that is terrified and suffering and just walk away.
I used to volunteer at an animal shelter and while we did have men volunteering there, they weren’t actually allowed to work with animals. They had to be on dishwashing or laundry or customer service. It was a real shame, because these men adored animals! But unfortunately, so many animals we had were abused by men, and were terrified of men as a result.