my boyfriend (m18)has been choosing his friend over me (F18) constantly for the last 4 months. i’ve spoken with him about 4 times about this and each time he’s promised to change and never does. I love him a lot and he claims to love me more than anything but has cancelled hangout’s we’ve made a week prior because his friends wants to hang out. our latest argument has been that: we haven’t seen eachother in a month because we’ve both been travelling and he wanted to cut our first sleepover short bc his friend wanted to meet at 11:45 so i slept after he told me that bc i was pissed. he woke up and at like 9 he said oh! it’s ok he meant 11:45 pm and he just didn’t care about my feelings when he cut the first hangout we’ve had in a month short. since then he’s been hanging out with his friend and this other person who’s his friends friend (i know this story is complicated) who’s in town for a little while and planned to meet with me saturday then said “oh sorry we are going out of town”. he then proceeded to not reply to my messages or anything on snapchat or instagram (even though he went online 6 times) for 16 hours. i messaged him saying “why have you left me on delivered for 16 hours and he said
“i can’t control it my friends just want to hangout” when i know for a fact even when he’s with his friends he checks his phone. then , (things j haven’t brought up in this argument are: ive gotten him over 15 personalised gifts and he got me 3 small figurines from shit i don’t actually care about, when all i asked him for was a stuffed animal) where i’m just really tired of dealing with this. in every single argument we’ve had he keeps saying sorry and he’ll change but he never does- but also he’s the guy that’s treated me the best. he treats me so nicely when we are together but he also treats me like shit when we aren’t.
tl:dr my boyfriend keeps choosing his friends over me and it’s interfering with our relationship
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> in every single argument we’ve had he keeps saying sorry and he’ll change but he never does
There are no magic words or actions that you can pull out of your sleeve to get what you want. You told him repeatedly, he heard you, he understood you well enough to tell you what you wanted to hear and ultimately he just brushed you off. This isn’t accidental and he’s not a child that has to be taught.
> lso he’s the guy that’s treated me the best. he treats me so nicely when we are together but he also treats me like shit when we aren’t.
Decent treatment at all times should be the bare minimum. Shitty treatment half the time is way below bare minimum. You need to rethink both this relationship and your own standards and expectations. You’re not a martyr; giving and giving while getting nothing back isn’t something you’re ever going to receive praise for.