How do you get your spouse to buy in to the budget?

Hey guys, 35m/37f here married for 5 years. My income has always been pretty steady but we’ve never really budgeted bc my wife’s income/career has been so inconsistent. (I know it can be done but it was always difficult for us) About 8 months ago she got a new job in the school system with a steady paycheck every two weeks and I have really honed in our budget. I track spending daily and am really motivated to get ahead. Borderline obsessed, but the income is there and I’m determined.

So within the budget we each have a “weekly fun money” line. No questions asked, have fun. Recently my wife has been blowing through this and then some. She also gets antsy about food and is blowing through the grocery budget. To the point our food is spoiling and it drives me nuts to through food away.

So I tried my best to kindly address it. Her response was her paycheck is “gone before she ever sees it so what’s the point?” She’s been home all summer so that’s part of it but I know she’s stressed and going through some anxiety about starting back up. But spending money we don’t have in the budget is quite hurtful bc I do work hard and sacrifice as well.

So my question to the group is how do you get everybody on the same page? How do you get them to “see the light” so to speak? I don’t want to be controlling or babysit her but how can I have a healthy discussion about all of this?

TL;DR wife sees no point in budgeting and I’m trying to get her on board.