TL; DR My bf is moving really fast in this relationship and saying things I feel like should wait until later.
So me (22F) and my bf (21M) have been dating for just over 6 months. We also had a rocky start and started hooking up before dating. I have commitment issues and past relationships (bf and family) issues. My brother younger sister died in a car accident when she was 12 and I was 16, then my gma died in a car accident literally a month later.
I also have bad depression, anxiety, and adhd, like most people do lol. So 2 weeks after we first started hooking up this guy tells me he loves me- I really liked him but I thought love was a little much for the moment so i didn’t say it back. Then a few weeks later i did say it back cuz i loved him obvi. Fast forward a little bit we start dating and he is moving things really fast. For example he was like i wanna live with you forever, I wanna marry you, I wanna have babies with you ect.
Now this was a little soon for me and I felt a lot of pressure to say it back. I loved him and i didnt want to lose him, and of course I had thought about those things but we had only been dating for less than half a year. Now he asks me at least once a day if i promise to marry him and have babies and live with him forever- not in like an intentionally pressured way but like that is just inherent pressure. It took me a little while but again i said those things back but now i think it’s getting out of hand.
I love him but he is putting so much pressure on me to be with him forever and promise that i want all of those things. I do want to stay with him and eventually talk about those things but it’s like he’s always living in the future. Like calm down or you are gonna scare me away.
Should I say something like that puts a lot of pressure on me and I need you to stop asking and making me promise so frequently? I don’t wanna lose him and i’m afraid if i say that he’ll think i don’t love him. Advice please?
Comments
You need to be in therapy, not a relationship.
>Now he asks me at least once a day if i promise to marry him and have babies and live with him forever
Girl, run. Don’t have sex with him anymore. For all you know, he could be tampering with the condoms or birth control to trap you.
Do not continue.
No one should be saying they love you after 2 weeks either, they are still strangers!
Sometimes you gotta allow good things to happen to you. If your gut tells you he loves you and you love him, don’t push him away. If your gut says run away then do that. But also remember just because you have gone through trauma doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love . You are also young so maybe this isn’t it but have you tried just talking to him calmly about all of this? If you’re feeing overwhelmed by his affection, talk to him. Communication is key