Me (26M) have been seeing a girl (24F) who’s the sister of a close friend. I feel like I’m chasing, and I’m not sure where I stand.

I (26M) have known her brother, a very close friend of mine, for about 10 years, but I never really saw his family until recently. About a month and a half ago, I started seeing his sister (24F), and to my surprise, I really started liking her.

I live in Paris; she lives in Leuven, Belgium. Because of my freelance work, I travel between the two pretty often, so I’ve been trying to see her when I can.

Here’s a quick rundown of what’s happened:

• First date was in Belgium, pretty rushed, but good. I really wanted to make it happen despite the tight schedule.
• Second date was also a bit rushed, I missed my train and ended up staying over at her place (nothing happened beyond a kiss). But I felt hesitation on her end when we kissed.
• Then she went on vacation and got distant. She told me she was just trying to disconnect a bit from her phone, which I understand, but it left me confused.
• I confronted the distance gently and said I just needed to know if she still wanted to see me. She said she did like hanging out with me and wanted to take things slow, that the kiss on the second date was too quick for her. I respected that and felt good to have some clarity.
• We had a third date in my hometown. I really tried to make it special, walked around, did some fun things, saw live music, spent the day together. At the end of the day, we kissed again (she kept looking at my lips). This time she seemed more comfortable and relaxed with me. She said she had a good time.

But after that, communication slowed down again. She asked how I was doing, I replied I had a stressful driving exam, and she left me on read, then answered the next day. Small thing, but I noticed it. No good luck.

She still has Bumble on her phone. I saw the app during the last date. I let it slide. She doesn’t seem like someone who’s playing around. But still, the presence of the app and the general lack of initiative from her side make me feel like I’m the only one really investing energy.

I invited her to Paris. She said she knows she’s welcome, but again, no specific planning. I feel like I’m always the one initiating, planning, proposing. I don’t need a full-on relationship immediately, but I do want a sense that the energy is somewhat mutual. I don’t want to feel like just an option.

I’m not asking for constant attention or immediate commitment, but I guess I wish she were more clear, more emotionally available. Or at least gave some signs that she’s as curious and excited about this as I am.

Keep in mind that we’re both Belgian (Flemish), and sometimes people tend to be more reserved emotionally. But even with that in mind, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m doing all the chasing, and she’s just… lightly leaning in.

I’m trying to be respectful and patient, but I don’t know how long I should keep putting in this effort without more clarity or reciprocal energy.

PS: I’m planning of moving back to Belgium so the distance shouldn’t be a big factor.

TL;DR:
I (26M) have been seeing the (24F) sister of a close friend. I live in Paris, she lives in Belgium. We’ve had 3 decent dates, some kisses, and she says she likes hanging out with me, but her effort and communication feel minimal. I’m starting to feel like I’m always chasing and not really being chosen. Should I keep investing or pull back?