19F confused about her relationship with 21M

Hi everyone,

I really need some outside perspective on something that’s been messing with my head.

I’m 19F and in a relationship with a guy who’s 21M. We’ve been officially together for almost 3 months, but we’ve been talking for about 6 months in total. Things escalated quickly — he told me within a few months that he sees me as “the one,” that he wants a family with me one day, and even made comments like “If we keep going like this, you won’t start your master’s unmarried haha.” I admit, I was flattered at first and got caught up in the intensity of it all.

But I’m also a person who values space, independence, and personal growth. I want to explore life, discover myself, and enjoy being young — and I told him this very clearly. I’ve always been honest about the fact that I’m focused on my education, personal development, and enjoying my freedom before settling down. But I didn’t mean it like “I want to party and mess around”. It was more like “if our relationship is strong enough, I would love to travel and step out of our comfort zone together”.

Fast forward to recently: I had exams (university admission exams, very important) and told him clearly that I’d be quite unavailable for about a week, especially since I was also spending time with my family, who don’t support constant texting during shared vacations. But mostly I was very very busy and I told him in advance “I won’t be that active for a week, I will text you whenever I can” and he seemed to be more than cool with that. I still made time to send him sweet messages, told him “I love you,” and even thanked him when he sent me an encouraging text before my exam. I sent him pictures, updates with what I was doing or visiting with my family etc (my exams were in the capital city that’s why we also visited places).

But… he started telling me he felt like I was “less invested.” He said he didn’t feel important, that I wasn’t giving him enough, and that he just wanted “5 minutes of meaningful conversation,” not just “updates.” He kept repeating, “I just needed to see you.”(after I told him that we won’t be able to meet that week and we can spend a few days together over 2 weeks when we both come back from vacations – we are doing long distance this summer and he wanted to come and see me which was sweet, but I told him that we can’t meet in my exams’ week) At one point, he said, “How would you want me to feel? Happy?” — implying that he couldn’t possibly be content unless we were together in that moment.

When I expressed that I felt like he was being emotionally dependent, he denied it and said I misinterpreted everything. He said he’s not obsessed or too clingy (but a few weeks before he said “I hope you don’t find me being too clingy”), just that he misses me and prefers when we’re together. It’s the same for me of course. I really wanted us to meet asap but I couldn’t during my exams because my parents weren’t OK with me focusing on something else except my exams. He even apologized, saying he was sorry for making me feel bad and that I misunderstood his intention. Still, it left me drained and pressured during a really stressful week.

Now, the confusing part: he’s being incredibly sweet. He sends me photos, tells me what he’s doing, says he misses me, and is excited to meet in two weeks. On the surface, everything seems perfect — and that makes me question if I was overreacting before. But I can’t shake the uneasy feeling from the pressure he put on me when I needed space.

It’s not the first time either. He once told me he felt “uneasy” knowing I went to a music festival last summer, and even though he apologized for making me feel guilty about it, it still felt a bit controlling at first. He later said he’d come with me if that’s what makes me happy, which softened things. But that initial reaction stuck with me.

I don’t know if this is love bombing or if I’m being too critical. He can be understanding and kind, but there’s a pattern of guilt-tripping or pressuring followed by apologizing and acting overly sweet. I feel like I’m constantly analyzing everything, and that makes me wonder — is that a red flag in itself?

I’m afraid that if I stay, I’ll lose myself. But I’m also afraid that if I leave, I’ll be throwing away something that could become great if we just work through it.
Any insights?

Thank you for reading this far — I appreciate it more than I can say.

TL;DR
He makes me feel very special most of the time making me see him as major green flag but I can’t overlook his L-bombing and slight emotional manipulation now that I’m more rational and not all head over heels.