Location: Ohio.
I’ve just received a call from a good friend. The father of her nine month old has just left, again, for the second time in as much as 30 days. I am Jack’s complete and utter lack of surprise. The father struggled with drug relapse during my friend’s pregnancy, as the pressures were too hard for him to handle. This was expected, to me at least, and his enabling mother who has encouraged him to leave and take custody has been no help.
My friend has maintained her banking work throughout pregnancy, whereas he struggled for find work until the very last minute. He has since lost that job – also the norm. As difficult as it is for him to work outside of the home, work inside the home is neglected as well. My friend does the cleaning, she does the cooking, and she handles the care of the child. The father has never bathed the child, she had to beg him to finish feeding the child so that she could use the bathroom. The list goes on, but the cliff notes- he cannot care for a baby.
Fast forward to the present, he has defamed her to his family, presenting himself as the primary caretaker AND the only one doing household chores. This lit a fire under his mother’s ass to compel him to go after my friend for full custody. She has an axe to burn as she’s been told multiple times not to kiss the baby, due to her oral and genital herpes. She does not take these concerns seriously, and therefore my friend has limited visits to grandma’s for her son’s safety. I don’t live there, so I’m very unfamiliar with Ohio state law, but I’ve been told that she will need a mountain of proof to keep her son away from this man. The issue is that his family are the only witnesses to his multiple relapses and bender-related abandonment (pre and postpartum). His current drug abuse is also something that may be hard to prove. Gas station heroin is apparently what he’s been taking, something I’ve never heard of until today. As I understand it, these aren’t FDA approved, and cannot be tested for?
She’s been left without a car, (his car was the safe car, she doesn’t feel comfortable putting her son in hers) and with very little food for their baby.
He is visiting today, as is his right, but has cancelled once before. She says that in Ohio, a parent has 3 strikes with visitation before… something. What are her options here? Obviously, paying for a lawyer won’t be viable.