TL;DR: Mom straight up admitted she cares about my sister more
It’s honestly all such a strange story: I saw a message on my (older)sister’s phone where she was speaking to a friend about our relationship dynamic and how parents always treated her better. What I didn’t expect was seeing a message where she said that mom STRAIGHTFORWARDLY admitted and told her that “she’s more important to her and is willing to help her at my expense”.
I tried to ignore it at first but felt my heart literally sink. I always saw that she was treated better, that she got more and better gifts; when we were arguing, my mom always took her side, no matter what. My sister was always more timid and shy, passive when arguing with parents, when I was argumentative and not scared of them at all. Not to mention, my sister’s disabled so I always felt like she was given more attention than me.
But I always kept hope that they preferred her over me subconsciously, and when I read that she literally said that… I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I want to talk about it with her but I know it’ll become a full-blown argument.
It feels so bad I start to spiral back into panic/depression of sorts. It just feels so surreal, I almost feel hate towards both of them. Please, give me advice on how to talk about this and what to do.