My partner (36m) and I (31m) have been together for 10 months now. Both come from pretty conservative Christian families, and both have parents who are “trying” to understand the gay thing. My boyfriend loves his family and is a pretty big mommas boy. We went up to see them beginning of June and before we went up his mom called him to lay some ground rules. She said she’s trying to be supportive and doesn’t wanna lose him, but she’s not okay with the gay thing and asked that we don’t have sex in her house, which is understandable. Said we could sleep in the same bed but asked that we don’t make out or anything of the sort infront of them. No PDA. This was completely understandable. We went to visit. Stayed for a week and I thought everything was great. They were amazing. I even thanked them both when we left and told them I understood it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world but I was happy how well they handled everything and that I was really glad to have met them. Almost two months go by and just yesterday his mom calls and tells my boyfriend that she feels like I was disrespectful of their boundaries, and that it seems like I didn’t even try. That it also was difficult to watch us together cuz it seemed like we where two high schoolers in our first relationship and that we where too lovey dovey with each other. Mind you, we call each other bubba or babe and that’s pretty normal. We are somewhat still new in a relationship and sometimes we do say it often. “Hey babe can you grab that.” “Hey bubba I took the dog out can you feed her when I leave.” Etc. Apparently it really bothered her. As well as we were sitting together on a small couch watching a movie and I leaned up against him to face the tv and laid my head on him. She also claims she saw him kiss me once. I feel devastated. It wasn’t my intention to hurt her or make a bad impression, but I also feel she would not have been happy regardless of how we acted. Like she just assumed we would act like straight friends? I didn’t go out of my way to do PDA. I don’t know how to support him through this, feel like I don’t really like his mother right now, and feel pretty hurt. Any advice?
TL;DR my boyfriends christian parents where upset by the affection we showed each other while at their house.
Comments
That is their problem, not yours. What was your boyfriend’s response?
I read this whole thing and thought you were 16 and then had to double check the age, I’m sorry what?!? The heck did they expect you too to act like you don’t know each other?! This is their issue at this point you did nothing wrong
Yeah, I think she was saying all the right things but her mind doesn’t accept your relationship. I think what she really wants to tell her son is that the relationship disgusts her, but obviously she would lose him if she said it that directly. I hoping she learns to live with you two being together or at the very least that her son is gay. But I think only time can help a situation like this.
>No PDA.
She requested no PDA. Calling each other pet names, snuggling together, kissing, resting your head on his shoulder. That was the PDA your bf’s mother asked not to see.
I think your bf used you to push the boundaries his mother had set.
She was going to find something to complain about, no matter what, because she is clearly unhappy that her son is gay. Personally, I have no patience for indulging homophobia. I think you should just ignore it and move on with your life.
Nonsense, she’s just getting her panties in a twist and retroactively getting upset….you did nothing wrong. If anything, she’s disrespecting you. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.